I said, “That’s.....a novel idea.”
Because no one expects the Spanish ink precision!
But atleast she has a smoothie
... Re Post-it Notes.
A diarya
I guess you can say it's an auto-biography.
That’s my signature move.
I said, “Who’s gonna sue me?”
It's an new Al-Gore-rithm
They are just trying to be edgy.
I told her she must of been literary exhausted.
If you do it you'll see why.
I calm myself down by playing my Christ Box 360.
But the 9th will be “the title of this book was in binary”
There’s a lot of cross referencing.
But thats a story for another time.
2B or not 2B
Oh, right. Satires.
A stationery bike.
My daughter said, "that makes them the founding feathers, dad."
I've never been so proud.
"Did I ever tell you about the asshole?"
"What?"
"Well, the asshole was at a meeting with all of the other body parts, and they were deciding who should be in charge of the whole body, right? So first, the brain says, 'C'mon, obviously I should be the boss. I do all of the decisions, thinking--why is this even a question?'
'Well, good luck doing all of the thinking if you can't see where you're going,' say the eyes. 'We should be in charge.'
'What good is it going to do seeing, if you can't get anywhere?' asked the legs.
'Well, without us, you'd have no oxygen,' said the lungs.
'Are you serious?' said the stomach. 'How are you supposed to process energy and do any of this stuff, without me??'
'Well, what about me?' piped up the asshole. 'I'm important too..'
'You?!?' laughed the other parts. 'Shut up, asshole!'
So the asshole went on strike.
A week and a half later, the brain couldn't think straight. The eyes couldn't focus, the legs were asleep from sitting on the pot, and the stomach was so jammed up full of crap that the lungs could barely breathe.
Finally, they all went to the asshole and said, 'Look, we're sorry, we're sorry!! Just come back to work, you can be in charge!'
...and that's why all bosses are assholes."
Miss ya, Pops.
It’d be my screenplay on words
T O D A Y
(Can be used any day, any year!)
The connoisaur.
Why was Leif Erikson not accredited with discovering the New World?
Because if he had put some roots down, he would have been Tree Erikson.
^superscripts
I said, “That’s ...... a novel idea.”
Me: That’s a.....novel idea.
They’re just trying to be edgy.
If you do it you'll see why.
