Honest LPT: I got embarrassed the other day, and want to help other people avoid making my mistake. Now this might seem counterintuitive, but if you come up with a good dad joke MEMORIZD it and NEVER write it down. Because the moment you put it on paper...
When I left home to go on a business trip, my wife said "Don't forget to write"
I thought, "That's unlikely... it's a basic skill, isn't it?"
I'm a teacher and every day I write a Dad Joke from this sub on the board. Today a student said this to me... I was about to go off... before I got the Dad Joke.
Student: "Sir, someone nutted on the floor!"
Me: *Begins to get angry* *Turns around... there's a hex nut on the floor*
Me: "Well played."
What did Capt. Ahab’s son write on his father’s cast?
My son asked me for something hard to write on
I don't know why he got so mad, sand is pretty hard to write on
I like to write jokes down from this sub and store them on my phone.
What did the pimp write on his resume?
My daughter's teacher gave her a project to write the English alphabet on slips of paper. Unfortunately 25 letter slips got wrinkled on her way to school.
But atleast she has a smoothie
My wife asked how I keep track of all my dadjokes from Reddit. I told her that I write the ones I like on little yellow...
I working on "Warcraft - The Musical". The songs write themselves.
- My horde will go on
- Alliance sleeps tonight
- A horde day's night
I always make sure to write my worst puns down on paper.
After all, they are tearable.
Every time I enter a room, I write down my name on a piece of paper and stick it behind some furniture.
That’s my signature move.
If I write “history” twice on a a page...
...does it mean I’ve rewritten history?
I went traveling to find the best pie. A pie in Jamaica costed 1.50$. One in Cuba was therefore only 1$. The most expensive I found was on the Bahamas and costed a whopping 3$. I might write a book about this...
I'll name it the Pie-rates of the Carribean
-Not mine, my dad's I have full disclosure to use it though :)
I told my friend to give me a sharpie to write a joke on his face, I threw it away...
he asked why? I said "Your face is a joke"
What does a magician write his errands down on?
I’m debating whether to write “YES” on my left hand and “NO” on my right hand.
I mean, on the one hand, yes, but on the other hand, no.
My friend tried to write a joke about me on a banner and he put it on himself.
We used to write on scrolls, then paper, and now we’re back to scrolling again.
I Need help coming up with an August pun! Each month I write something nice on our calendar to my wife using the month as a pun. Can’t think of one for August! Can anyone help?
What does Scott Stapp write on his resume cover letter?
"Write a 2500 word essay on why you like pancakes"
"Oh no, i'm going to end up waffling!"
Student with a cast on his arm walks in to class and says “I can’t write with my right hand today.”
I ask, can you left with your left hand?
Many students gave me props for the dad joke. One student said I sound like their dad. While I have no kids of my own, I’m glad I get to practice my dad jokes on my students.
My friend works at Goodwill and every day he writes on their white board. This is what he did the other day.
I have decided to write all my jokes in capitols from now on.
This one was written in London.
I was going to write a joke on timetravel but....
You guys didn't like it.. :(
I told the pizza guy to write a joke on the box
When I used to be a wrestler, I would get a guy in a head lock and write my name on their forehead.
It was my signature move.
I was playing tennis with my friend, and he got angry when I tried to write the score on his arm.
I swear, you can never count on that guy...
Every day at work I write something silly on the dry erase paint 'whiteboard' by my desk and this is today's contribution. [x-post from r/funny]
I LOVE puns way too much. I love them so much I'm going to write a theater show about them - it's a play on words
The teacher looked at Bobby and asked, "Did you write these horrible insect puns on the blackboard?"
Bobby: "I didn't do it, katydid."
There's a class I plan on taking this perfect for me. It's for people who used to write and want to start again
It's called Resume Writing
No bread for my sammich. Wife tells me to write it down on the shopping list.
Alrite, but I dont think thats going to help.
http://imgur.com/a/DvSOz
Wife: Ha.... Ha....
I'm going to write down the first idea that comes to mind and get on a treadmill
My History professor asked us to write some jokes on the back of our history final for extra credit. After the groans from everyone I told it to, I think it belongs here.
Why was Leif Erikson not accredited with discovering the New World?
Because if he had put some roots down, he would have been Tree Erikson.
Write your phone number on a lime
I ask my students, "Can I write 'Your Name' on your sign off sheet?"...
135 lab students over the semester. How many suckers come to me to sign off their work without having their name at the top of their sign off sheets. So.. as a Dad I have my solution:
I ask my students, "Can I write 'Your Name' on your sign off sheet?"...
In a beautiful cursive flourish I write: YOUR NAME
"Dada write my name on it!"
Sure kid, I can do that...
http://i.imgur.com/TNUJEnm.png
I was told to write whatever you want on the ornament
http://i.imgur.com/VYE7sKx.jpg
Told my uncle I was reading a poem that I didn't write at my brothers wedding on Sunday
My uncle says...How are you going to read a poem that hasn't been written yet?
My daughter asked me to get her something hard to write on
So I brought her some sand.
My daughter asked me to bring her something hard to write on, but I don’t know why she got so mad at me...
It’s pretty hard to write on sand...
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