The last one was too possessive.
It chew chews it!?
Credit: My 3 year old, who validated the joke through my 6 year old.
Do not even get me started.
An impostrophe
It’ll be a catastrophe.
They show possession.
He was always giving my wife contractions.
He found her to be possessive- and she hated his contractions. The marriage felt like a sentence
...had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces...
Camelflauge
The winner got an apostrophe.
Me: "Hmm, I wish I could pull off her short hair, I never could"
Him: "Aw, I'm sure you could. I'll hold her down while you yank it out"
Didn't see that coming.
Edit: thanks guys I didn't realise fiance/e has genders.
Because the land doesn't wave back.
...does this make them...Guardians of the Galaxy?
:D
Hotter half shared that with me the other day. We're trying to build up our dad joke repertoire with a recently arrived bub.
EDIT: for removal of apostrophe
Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with a hammer."
Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”
....And I have no idea how apostrophes and periods work.
...she told me that we didn't have a color we needed.
So this morning I said "I had a dream last night that I found that color for you, but when I woke up I realized it was just a pigment of my imagination."
Got a groan from her, mission accomplished.
That’s why they gave me the apostrophe :D
Except running screw running.
Through a syntax.
Actual conversation with my wife this afternoon.
Me: If they named schools after their most famous alum, then I would have gone to "Duane, 'The Rock' Johnson High."
Wife: I suppose so.
Me: Home Economics enrollment would go through the roof.
Wife: confused Why?
Me: So they could smell what The Rock is cooking.
Wife: Oh God, you are SUCH a Dad.
Edit: I apparently can't apostrophe.
My son came out of his room one night very upset. He said he scared because he was going to die someday and he didn't want to die. I told him, "Don't worry about death. Someday you will get married, after that you'll never be afraid of death again." This actually calmed him down, although it upset my wife for some reason.
They’re too possessive
They're too possessive.
They're too possessive!
The last one was too possessive.
...the last one was too possessive.
