Last night I had a nightmare about wedding cakes....

I woke up in tiers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
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What did the wedding cake say while it was cutting an onion?

I'm in tiers!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DadJokeBadJoke
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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The most emotional part of my wedding wasn't the vows or the speeches - it was getting cake smashed in my face.

Really brought a tier to my eye.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlwaysTheNoob
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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Don't try to make a wedding cake. It will only end in tiers.
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2018
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Did you hear about the wedding cake that was weeping...

It had multiple tears

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CryptoReaper5
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2018
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Fiance told me I'm on cake duty for the wedding

I told her that cake duty doesn't come till after I eat the cake.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/falthazar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2016
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My grandfather was telling us of how his wedding cake was spoiled...

He continued to tell us that at least it didn't spoil their marriage; today is their 55th anniversary.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dawrastler
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2015
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The thing about baking a wedding cake is...

...whether it goes well or not, it always ends in tiers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/h2g2_researcher
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2015
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We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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5 Terrible Puns
  1. It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.

  2. If I'm the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a… Guardian of the Galaxy

  3. I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

  4. I Googled β€œHow to start a Wildfire”. I got 48,500 matches.

  5. I accidentally drank a little food colouring last night. I ended up dying inside.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/punsdaily
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
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It was an emotional wedding...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mattjb1994
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2018
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Dadjoked the crowd at my brother's wedding.

So at the reception it was my turn to give a speech and it went like this:

"I'm going to start this off with a couple jokes. First, it was a rather emotional wedding right? I mean, my mom was crying, Charity was crying, hell even the cake was in tiers! (many groans throughout the crowd) Second joke, to some marriage is just a word, to others, a sentence."

Besides all the groaning in the crowd I looked at my dad and saw that he was laughing so hard that he turned red and had tears in his eyes, that's how I knew they were good quality dadjokes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HomelessFuneral
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2015
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My friend's dad's Facebook posts are golden

*Khakis: What you need to start the car in Boston.

*Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

*Doctors tell us there are over seven million people who are overweight. These, of course, are only round figures.

*What do you call a cow who gives no milk? ...A milk dud (or an udder failure)

*There was a terrible fight reported in our local shopping center. It just so happened that a news reporter from one of our local stations was there to record the entire episode. It was an altercation between a prominent dentist and a manicurist. Their disagreement escalated to the point that they wound up fighting each other tooth and nail.

*The little old woman who lived in a shoe wasn't the sole owner - there were strings attached.

*I recently saw a theatrical performance on puns... turned out, it was just a play on words!

*Have you ever tried watching a magician with an anger management problem? Every time he gets mad, he pulls his hare out!

*If you lose your hearing, is it ear replaceable? -Just wondering

*Harvard has long been known for its championship Rowing team – until this year. They had their first ever indecisive rower... he couldn’t choose either oar.

*I found an excellent seamstress who is so enthusiastic about her work that she's happy to make a pair of pants for you …or at least sew its seams.

*No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

*I bought a new weed whacker yesterday & it is cutting-hedge technology!

*Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.

*I read about a recent fire at the circus. The heat was in tents.

*I was saddened to hear that our local bakery was going out of business. They said they had decided to stop making donuts after they got tired of the hole thing.

*I decided that becoming a vegetarian was a missed steak.

*Why do seagulls fly over the sea? …Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!!

*I wonder if their manure spreader is the only equipment John Deere won't stand behind.

*I saw a very emotional wedding recently... even the cake was in tiers!

*I'm glad I'm not a cross-eyed teacher... otherwise I'd find it too difficult to control my pupils!

*What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window? ...Snow and Tell

*I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

*The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.

*What kind of math do Snowy Owls like? …Owlgebra

*What

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gwildcat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2014
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My dad at a wedding

We were at my cousin's wedding when the time came to cut the cake. My cousin and her new husband made their way over to the cake and tentatively picked up the knife, looking unsure whether to go straight ahead or await further instruction.

My dad took the brief pause as his opportunity and piped up with "what's the matter, never done this before?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Raaaaaaandy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2014
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Dad Dropped This One Last Night

My mom owns a store where she does flower arrangements and cakes in a small town where everyone gets married in the same Catholic church. We were sitting around when she informed us that a cousin asked her about being her wedding planner.

Mom: "Honestly, I wouldn't mind doing it. I'm tired of seeing people mess up the ceremonies because no one knows where to go."

Dad: "Sounds like mass confusion."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/enjay1984
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2014
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A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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Everyone at our wedding cried

Even our wedding cake was in tiers

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlashHash
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
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Everyone at our wedding cried.

Even our wedding cake was in tiers.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 75
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I was at my son's wedding the other day

It was very emotional - even the wedding cake was in tiers!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_The_Mattmatician
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
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Had my best man speech for my best friends wedding yesterday and I finished with a great one

"Well this has been a really emotional day, gosh...even the wedding cake is in tiers." Got lots of heavy sighing, laughs and tons of boos....I was very happy with the reception

  • thanks for the upvotes! Never thought I'd see the front page, it's been a pun-ishing wait to get there
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustinioForza
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2016
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You know when someone walks past you and you catch a bit of their conversation? Even if it is feckin weird? Well....

So I was waiting in the car while my parents were waving off my sister to go on a school trip.

I’m on my phone, chilling out when I suddenly see a girl of about 4 or 5 with her mother walking past. They are talking but all I catch is the little girl saying:

β€œThe wedding was so emotional, even the cake was crying!”

I found this hilarious, and later passed it on to my father who then said

β€œIf the little girl wanted to be smart, she should of said β€˜the cake was in tears’” (as in tiers of a cake)

I just face palmed at this moment πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoelyMaya
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
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I worked at a wedding tonight and the bride's dad came out with this.

"Well, it's been a very emotional wedding folks, even the cake is in tiers!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RadiatorSam
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2013
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