I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kr4zyy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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Great weather puns aren’t a breeze
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PastaPoop
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2018
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Weather pun

I guess you could say that things hit by tornado’s are blown up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkshadow543
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2018
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Texas weather is making my best friend hilarious
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πŸ‘€︎ u/candyheyn
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
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After this week's bad weather in Texas, there'll probably be a baby boom in nine months.

That snow coincidence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/engfish
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
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You can't blame anyone if you fall in your driveway due to snowy weather...

Because that's your own asphalt.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mickerallen100
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
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What do you call an Arabic country that has loads of sheep and experiences very wet weather?

Baaa rain πŸ‡§πŸ‡­

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bbew_Mot
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
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A fish steps outside her house and get hers fins and gills blown out of order by the weather, so she goes back in for a jacket. Her husband asks, β€œWhat’s it like Outside Right Now?” She replies,

β€œCurrently”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/axolitl-nicerpls
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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Our dog has been a little under the weather so we took him in for a checkup. The vet picked him up, studied him for a bit, sighed and said, "I'm really sorry, but I'm gonna have to put him down." Tears welling in my eyes I sputtered, "Why!? What's wrong with him?"

The vet replied, "Nothing major, he's just really heavy!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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Today's weather forecast…
                               S

             O 

 E

S

H

                 W   

  R

Scattered showers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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I enjoy the cold weather

But only to a certain degree

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πŸ‘€︎ u/takuache_beaner
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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Why is the English weather like a Muslim (not racist)

Because its either sunni or shi'ite

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sentinel_UK
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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What’s the weather like in Mexico?

Chili today, hot tamale.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SkipperBiff
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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My neighbour always thinks he knows more about the weather than me

The guy is a real snow it all.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/deathorcharcoal
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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Lazy Christmas morning, my wife is looking at the weather, says there will be periods of rain today.

I say, Damn! Do they make a pad for that? Without a pause, she says: Depends

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flylink63
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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Who does their best work when they're under the weather?

Meteorologists.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MasterThenatoni
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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I think the girl at the Airlines check-in just threatened me.

She looked me dead in the eye and said, β€œWindow or aisle?” I laughed in her face and replied, β€œWindow or you’ll what?”

πŸ‘︎ 20k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nandos677
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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Santa forgot to check the weather

Its Christmas eve and santa claus has forgotten to check the weather before his Christmas run . Just before leaving he asks Mrs claus "what's the weather like for tonight?" "Rain dear" she replies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/generic_what
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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If April has May like weather then what does May weather brings?

A BOXING MATCH

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πŸ‘€︎ u/doom_dodo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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There was a television channel ran by pets, the weather forecast was on and inclement weather was being predicted...

High chance of it raining cats and dogs, howling winds, and a possible purricane.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ConradFlick
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
How's the weather?
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
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What is the weather always like above Google's headquarters?

Cloudy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CognitiveNerd1701
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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How do Arabs grumble when the weather is bad?

Bah! Rain!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tyckt206
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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We're only a couple of weeks into Fall and the weather is seriously erratic

It could chilly today, but then hot tamale.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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I heard that by law you need to turn on your headlights when it’s raining in Sweden

How the hell am I supposed to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lifesdope057
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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Had a great weekend. Won the annual weather forecaster's championships!

I beat the raining champion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
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Want to hear a joke about weather?

Actually, never mind. I’ll just save it for a rainy day

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Geb69
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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This mug from BBC weather
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/siliconmac
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
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Best name for a weather reporter in Mexico?

Pascals, Hector Pascals.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kerdawg
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?

When it's muggy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yeoshua82
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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The meteorologist didn't turn up for work.

He was under the weather.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Hippie Weather Report
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mistermajik2000
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
How can colors be used to predict the weather?

By their huemidity

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coop620
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
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I bet the scale is feeling a little under the weather
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wtflagnard
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
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The Weather Outside
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
🚨︎ report
And now for the weather
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Juiceboy_2005
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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Teacher: β€œJohnny, can you spell weather?” Johnny: β€œW...E...V...V...A” ...

Teacher: β€œWell that is the worst spell of weather we’ve had in a while!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!

He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/djpatientnathan
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Bill, the weatherman: β€œToday’s weather forecast will be two beans in a tomato, meat sauce.”

Anchor: Bill, what on earth are you talking about?

Bill: It’ll be a little chili.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MBisme
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
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The orange juice industry is not doing very well.

Tomorrow they will give a special press conference

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cosh1990
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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Many years ago there was a vicious viking named RΓΌdoff.

RΓΌdoff was one of the best fighters in his village and a terrifying opponent on the battlefield. He would often return from battle, so drenched in his opponent's blood that he became known as "RΓΌdoff det rΓΈde", meaning "the red".

After years of wars, and regular battles, RΓΌdoff finally grew old, and decided that his fighting days were behind him. He became the best farmer that his village had ever known and people would travel from.far away to ask him about his crops and to predict the weather, as he was quite proficient at it.

One morning he wokeup, and looked out the window, the skys were clear and the sun was shining, but RΓΌdoff could feel the pressure in his old bones and battle scars

"It will Rain soon", he said to his wife while she made breakfast. She glanced outside and told him he was nuts, it was bright and sunny.

He simply hiked up his pants and reminded her:

RΓΌdoff The Red knows rain, dear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smoffatt34920
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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Which type of weather is best suited to a pandemic?

Isolated showers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Koala_J
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Tragic news, a cargo ship carrying shoes from overseas ran into heavy weather and sank, only one man was rescued, he was found using shoes as a makeshift flotation device.

He was the sole survivor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Perfect for sweater weather

A friend of mine made a sweater out of alphabet soup and a needle.

I asked "how'd you manage that one?"

He said, "it was easy once I put together a string of letters"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BedHeadBread
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Jokes about the weather can be funny...

To a certain degree.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jxwtf585
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report

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