My landlord texted saying we need to meet up and talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied back: “Sure, my door is always open.”
So last night my boyfriend left the bedroom door open to get more heat in the room because there are more heating vents in the hallway than in the bedroom. I said, "You might say it's eVENTful." He didn't laugh. So then I said, "You'll laugh eVENTually."
I was heating up chip dip when I spilled some on my feet.
I guess you could say i had toasty-toes.
I’m not sure why my heating bill is so high?
If you’d like to come over to offer me any advice my door is always open
I find with the weather heating up, whether I stay inside or go outside...
I’m getting Spring Fever.
Did you hear about Australia heating up to 50°C?
It's a pretty hot topic right now.
I made my own antifreeze..... I turned off her heating all winter.
I didn't know if I could crawl through heating vents to escape from Mexican prison...
After I duct, I found I conduit!
I built a vodka still that uses an electromagnetic heating coil...
I call it proof by induction.
Our house heating system broke down -
It was 50 degrees in the house this morning (10, if you're into metric). The HVAC guy made an emergency visit and fixed it up. It's well below freezing outside, so it was a legitimate emergency.
I told my wife, "I think you pay too much for school. We just got twenty degrees for seven hundred dollars!"
My dad friend on heating his house
My friend, who is a dad, heats his house with only a wood burning stove. When remarking on it, he says,
"Yep, the whole house is solar powered!"
I got into a heated argument with a snowman
in which he lost his cool and had a total meltdown
What do you call a dinosaur who is easy to clean, heat resistant and long lasting?
py-rex
I'll get my coat...
After a heated argument, my kid shouted “Jim Morrison was overrated”
Me: What did I say about slamming The Doors?
My wife heated up a cup of coffee "just for me"
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch a cold.
Keep in mind that given all of this year's events, Thanksgiving dinner can get heated
It can get re-heated the next day as well
Why, when I heat some water, I am boiling it. But when my wife heats some water...
Literally took the heat off!
I was dancing with a woman in a bar and things were getting heated.
"Want to go back to my place?" I asked.
"Of course," she replied.
I said, "Here are the keys. Make sure you let the dog out for a shit."
I cannot eat shrimp, lobsters and clams that have been cooked by heated water vapor....
I have shellfish steamed issues.
What’s the difference between a baked sweet potato and a forcefully flying pig?
One is a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
My dad told me this rn. "Which is faster, heat or cold?"
Heat because you can catch a cold.
2 Astronauts landed on the Sun
Astronaut 1 : ItssofuckinghotcanIgetabeeraroundhere?
Astronaut 2 : Thereisnospacebar.
My wife finally bought a ventilator yesterday because of the heat..
Oven mitts make hands immune to heat.
At least to a certain degree.
(first post here. thought of this while making a hot pocket)
I have a farmer friend who heats his milk products to 212 degrees Fahrenheit using cow chips...
Yep. It's called pasture-ized milk.
During the heat of the summer, my wife asked if I wanted the fan to oscillate.
I said I like it both ways, but it is variable.
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly.
But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
The rocket scientists finally figured out what when wrong with their missile launch ...
Turns out it was a case of projectile dysfunction.
he broke their air conditioner and then things got heated.
If something were heat resistant...
Would you say it's heat proof, to a certain degree?
I got into an argument with a friend about what the best medieval weapon was. I said the Warhammer, he said the Mace. It got so heated we are currently not speaking to each other...
Talk about blunt force drama.
Today I found out that roofing in the summer heat can be really dangerous.
WARNING: HOT SHINGLES ARE IN YOUR AREA.
My wife asked me whether I experimented with sex and drugs when I was in high school, and I said Yes.
Unfortunately I was part of the control group.
I was using my drill at work when all of a sudden it heated up so much, it caught fire!
So I called up Dewalt and they said: “not to worry! It’s just a fire drill.”
REDDIT! IM GOING TO BE A DAD!!! :D
Why do partcles get exited when we heat something up?
Because it's volume increases
This morning, my dad told me something that gave me the chills.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
Grrrrr... I've just burnt my Hawaiin pizza....
Should have cooked it on aloha heat.
When the heat turns down, we thieves gather in our secret hideout for a meeting.
We call it our Con Den session.
What do you call someone that's always stealing your heat?
My landlord says he needs to come talk to me about how high my heating bill is.
I told him, "My door is always open".
If someone can explain to me why my heating bills are so high..
..My door is always open.
My landlord says he needs to come talk to me about how high my heating bill is.
I told him, 'My door is always open!'
My landlord wants to talk to me about my high heating bills every month.
I said, “Sure. My door is always open.”
My landlord wanted to talk to me about how high my heating bills are.
I said, “Sure. My door is always open.”
What's faster, heat or cold?
Heat. Because you can catch a cold.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
