The other day, my hot friend told me he could sign a piece of paper with his hotness.
Me, being fed up with him always boasting, I asked," How could you even do that?"
With a smug smile plastered on his face, he replied," Thermal Signature."
Felt the knead to drop a hot pun on my wife
My wife loves it when I blow cold air on her when she's too hot..
Personally I'm not a fan.
What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
Make me one with everything.
Was flattered by a bench at a hot dog restaurant.
Two muffins are sitting in an oven. First one says "boy it sure is hot in here."
The other yells, "Oh my god! It's a talking muffin!"
How does a military dad alert his son that a hot lady is nearby?
I identify as a man, my birth certificate says I’m a man, everybody I know says I’m a man...
and yet according to Kraft Dinner, I’m a 4-person family
At Disney World on a hot day, saw someone with one of those portable misting bottles attached to a fan for cooling off. I said, "I want a mister fan."
My wife, without missing a beat, says "Please, Mr. Fan is my father."
2 muffins baking in an oven. One turns to the other and says "Gosh, it's hot in here". The other replies;
"AAAAHH! TALKING MUFFIN!"
My buddy keeps asking me to blow cool air on him when he gets hot, and I don’t like it.
A sausage says to the egg "You know, after they burn us up on that hot pan, they'll stab us with forks and cut us with their sharp knives...
The egg says to the sausage "wow, amazing - a talking sausage!"
Why is 'Careless Whisper' played in so many hot scenes?
It is a rather saxy song.
My girlfriend and I were just touring the farmer’s market - she said one of the tables had some red hot chilli peppers, and asked if I wanted some.
I said, only if they’re givin’ ‘em away, givin’ ‘em away, givin’ ‘em away now.
Why is the doctor hot tempered?
because there ain’t any patients
What do you call a line of well dressed, sizzling hot babes?
My doctor told me to drink two bottles of red wine after a hot bath...
But I can’t even finish drinking the hot bath
I asked the hot dog seller, “Can I get a jumbo sausage?”
He said, “Sure, won’t be long.”
I said, “Shit. In that case, can I have two?”
What do you call a dog without legs?
It doesn't matter what you call it, he's not coming.
Why don't football players get hot?
Why was the television repair man called out to the Red Hot Chili Peppers hotel room?
One cat sees another cat eating a hot dog PLAIN, and says
The price of hot air balloons has really gone up over the past twenty years.
Man, hot air balloon rides keep getting more expensive every year.
But I guess that’s just inflation.
You heard about the fruit clan that took their young grapes out into the hot summer day?
They were raisin' a family.
Red hot chili pepper weight
How do you measure how heavy a red hot chilli pepper is?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it away a now.
Boss: How's that new glue?
Nobody wanted to buy my Red Hot Chili Peppers cd.
I have to give it away now
Why did Billy ride a hot air balloon?
He wanted to be a Billyonair.
Been talking to this smokin hot chick.
Super hot. We made plans to lift at the gym. She didn't show. That's when I knew we wouldn't work out.
Before I met my wife my love life was hot like the Sahara desert.
During the lockdown I'm wiping my banknotes with sanitizer and washing all the coins with hot soapy water.
I hope, I don't get arrested for money laundering.
Today I asked a hot girl at the gym what her new year's resolution was. She replied “Screw you!”
So I'm pretty excited for the new year!
How come the stadium got hot after the game?
Because all of the fans left.
There are no losers when eating hot dogs. Only wieners.
Today I finally told my family about my hot dog addiction
It was really hard but I managed to mustard all the courage to do so
If justice was served hot, it would be justwater.
What gender pronouns do chocolates use?
My wife is blaming me for ruining her birthday
That’s ridiculous, I didn’t even know it was her birthday
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch a cold.
My wife loves it that I blow cold air on her when she's too hot...
Personally, I'm not a fan.
What’s faster—hot or cold?
Hot is, because you can catch a cold.
Which is faster hot or cold ?
Hot !! As you can catch cold !
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