As we were at the top of the Eiffel Tower watching a beautiful sunset, I got down on one knee and said, βHoney?β
She gasped audibly and said, βYeah?β
I said, βHelp! My knee is made of magnets!β
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 05 2021
Why doesn't a schizophrenic get scared on watching a horror movie?
He knows that he is not alone.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jan 07 2021
I've just finished watching a documentary about beavers...
Best dam show I've ever seen.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 11 2020
Are you all watching the tests?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 27 2020
Sitting around watching the birds crowd around the bird feeder,
My brother says, "Someone must have left a good Yelp review."
I said, "Yeah, somebody tweeted about it."
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 03 2021
If you had a choice of eating your lunch outside or watching the Nickelodeon network, what would you do?
π︎ 18
π
︎ Dec 29 2020
You know the problem with watching someone play a racing game?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 27 2020
I was watching an EzPz vid on r/Im14andthisisdeep, and thought I'd make a meme.
π︎ 34
π
︎ Oct 09 2020
What do you call watching 2 Hallmark movies back to back?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 26 2020
Finally got around to watching the whole βBack to the Futureβ trilogy!
π︎ 15
π
︎ Nov 28 2020
After watching me read βWar and Peaceβ, my son asked me, βDad, why is the book so thick?β
Me: Well, itβs ......a long story.
π︎ 10k
π
︎ May 20 2020
An American, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German man are all watching a street performer
The street performer notices the four men are very far to the back and cannot see, so he stands on a box and continues his performance while asking, "Can you all see me now?"
"Yes."
"Oui."
"Si."
"Ja."
π︎ 106
π
︎ Sep 18 2020
Just finished watching a documentary on how Kool-Aid was made
π︎ 19
π
︎ Oct 17 2020
Was watching a shark movie, when suddenly it ended unexpectedly
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 14 2020
"Hey, Ronald McDonald - been watching any good clown movies?"
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 27 2020
Are you watching?
π︎ 133
π
︎ Aug 25 2020
I started watching what i eat.
So far it looks delicious
π︎ 20
π
︎ Nov 15 2020
I was watching an Australian cooking show the other day
Every time the chef made a meringue, the audience clapped. I was confused. I always thought Australians boo meringue.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Oct 27 2020
I started watching a really good show about how wooden ships are made
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 16 2020
After watching Hubie Halloween I realized that every Adam Sandler movie takes place in the same universe.
Unfortunately, it's the one we live in.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Oct 17 2020
Shush I'm watching the comedian
Oh wait i mean the president
Creds to my dad for that joke
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 05 2020
Scientists got bored after watching the Earth turn after 24 hours
π︎ 743
π
︎ Jul 19 2020
I'm closely watching how this contested election affects the volatility of the stock markets.
I call it the "Al Gore Rhythm" method.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 11 2020
My friend, while driving through the mountains watching the leaves change: I love the winter. All the naked trees.
Me: Yeah, you can see all their knotty parts.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 25 2020
I was watching some Gordan Ramsay edits and I gotta say
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 13 2020
I hate watching YouTube on my old monitor. It's all laggy and slow, it just...
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 21 2020
I was watching a series about crushed tomatoes but I fell asleep.
Now I have to ketchup.
edit: my boyfriend is incredibly proud of his joke so this became my first reddit post
π︎ 31
π
︎ Sep 04 2020
A father catches his son watching Twilight by himself.
The boy says, "Dad, it isn't what it looks like!"
His father laughs heartily and sits down next to him.
"Boy," he says, "you can watch Twilight once."
"Really? You don't mind?"
"Of course not, but remember if you ever watch it again..."
His smile vanishes in an instant.
"...it's a Pattinson."
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 20 2020
Watching a little tadpole swim around from one stage of life to another is fascinating.
I just love watching the frogress.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 08 2020
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all watching a street performer doing some amazing juggling
The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a poor few of the show. So, the juggler stands on a wooden box and asks, βCan you all see me now?β
βYesβ
βOuiβ
βSiβ
βJaβ
π︎ 30
π
︎ Sep 23 2020
I started a job watching hourglasses just to check if the correct amount of time was passing for them.
But recently Iβve been bringing in model airplanes so I can make the hourglasses passengers and watch time fly.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Sep 05 2020
I was watching a live performance when the floor gave way and one of the actors fell through. My wife asked if I thought they were ok.
I said Iβm sure theyβre fine, itβs just a stage theyβre going through.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Sep 22 2020
Made it while watching BvS. Idk why people hate it, it's a good movie
π︎ 23
π
︎ Jul 02 2020
I feel like my cold room is watching me.
Itβs sending chills down my spine.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 06 2020
This year, I've really enjoyed watching 'Planet Earth'.
It's a shame that it only has four seasons.
π︎ 22
π
︎ Aug 04 2020
So I just got back from watching the new Christopher Nolan movie. Here's my short review..
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 02 2020
My kids were watching a show about identical twins re-united after being separated at birth, and in disbelief that they were wearing matching outfits when they met up.
I said, well, they do have the same genes.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Aug 06 2020
My ex told me she was watching the "Peaky Blenders". So here we are...
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 13 2020
My wife and 2yo were just watching Paw Patrol. There is a cow mooing into a cell phone to video chat with the team to ask for help for a cat stuck on the roof.
I told my wife "That cat would have way more grip on roof shingles and I expect more I realism from talking cartoon cows. This is "UDDERLY" ridiculous."
She may have buried her head and avoided eye contact for a bit. I was proud.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 23 2020
After watching Star Wars, my friend on tumblr told me he identifies as The Force
I guess that makes him a ForceKin
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 01 2020
I was watching an Australian cooking show recently and the audience began applauding when the chef made meringue. Which is odd because...
...Australians usually boo meringue
π︎ 288
π
︎ Aug 17 2020
I was watching an Australian cooking show ...
... and the audience clapped when the chef made meringue.
I was shocked when I found out that Australians usually boo meringue.
π︎ 175
π
︎ Aug 01 2020
I was watching an Australian cooking show when the audience started applauding when the chef made a meringue.
I was shocked. Usually Australians boo meringue.
π︎ 57
π
︎ Aug 01 2020
I was watching an Australian cooking show...
And the audience clapped when the chef made meringue. I was surprised as Australians normally boo meringue.
π︎ 29
π
︎ Jul 30 2020
I was watching an Australian show and the audience applauded when the host made a lemon meringue.
I was confused because I thought Australians usually boo meringue.
π︎ 61
π
︎ Aug 14 2020
I was watching an Australian cooking show, and the audience clapped when the chef made meringue
I was quite surprised, as Australians normally boo meringue.
Originally posted by u/knowthe_numbers
π︎ 13
π
︎ Aug 26 2020
I was watching an Australian cooking show, and the audience applauded when the chef made a meringue.
I was surprised. Usually Australians boo meringue.
π︎ 276
π
︎ Mar 24 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.