I brought a new vacuum cleaner from Walmart.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jun 05 2021
Saw this one in Walmart, itβs a baby shirt!!
π︎ 17
π
︎ Feb 14 2021
So India is building a new Walmart
So, hereβs going to be a New Delhi
Note: I thought of this joke when I was 12
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 21 2021
I was so mad when Walmart ran out of figurines for the Nativity
Now I have to attend manger management
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 11 2020
Walmartβs onn brand of tv wall mounts.
π︎ 22
π
︎ Sep 22 2020
I went to Walmart to get some toilet paper today
They were completely wiped out.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 17 2020
Thereβs going to be a new Walmart in India
If thatβs the case, then thereβs gonna be a New Delhi
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 06 2020
I had to bring a smashed boomerang back to Walmart yesterday.
Fantastic returns policy.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jul 31 2020
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Jun 01 2018
2 bananas shopping in Walmart; first banana says βI dare you to shoplift that hamβ
Second banana says βno way, Iβm not doing that!β
First banana says βwhy? You yellow?β
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 28 2020
My dad gave me a Walmart gift card for my birthday
Then he said "Don't spend it all in one place."
π︎ 27
π
︎ Oct 09 2019
I work at Walmart and found a bunch of zucchini in with the hamburger.
Talk about squashing some beef
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 20 2020
My mom just told my sister she ran into the Walmart
I asked her if it hurt and then my dad who doesn't usually laugh at jokes like that laughed. I guess you could say I'm pretty coolπ
π︎ 29
π
︎ Aug 22 2019
I was playing Pokèmon Go in Walmart today. There was a lot of Pokèmon in store.
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 11 2019
Walmart is opening dental offices in some of its stores.
There will be an express lane for people with less than 12 teeth.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 09 2019
Walmart caught me stealing a shopping cart full of merchandise.
They told me to rollback the savings.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 23 2019
I may be young but I still made the cashier at Walmart cringe with this one.
I bought a case of Natty lights. As she was scanning it she said, "wow this is really heavy" to which I responded "No, they're light. It even says so on the box." I was so proud of myself.
π︎ 752
π
︎ Oct 29 2015
This gas can at walmart
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 05 2018
What did the Walmart cashier say to the screaming customer?
βItβs actually not a very civil way to communicate, yelling that is. I would quite appreciate you being more respectful for us to continue our interaction, thank you. Sir.β
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 05 2019
Walmart greeters and doormen have howdy duties. (Howdy Doody)
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 12 2018
I went to Walmart the other day. It's name is very misleading.
There were no Walls for sale anywhere!
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 04 2019
Was watching the news when they reported that a woman was targeted at Walmart.
Dad: I wonder who got Walmarted at Target.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Dec 25 2018
Meanwhile at Walmart...
π︎ 11
π
︎ Apr 08 2018
/r/funny didn't appreciate this ripped guy I saw at Walmart
π︎ 402
π
︎ Aug 09 2013
My friend was jerking off in the Walmart bathroom
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 04 2018
These Walmart rawhide bones...
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 22 2017
A dad and his son are staring at a Walmart bag that's stuck in a tree.
Dad: Hey son, look at that Walmart bag up there!
Son: I can see it! I wonder how it got there.
Dad: Do you know where it came from?
Son: No, do you?
Dad: Walmart.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 06 2018
An older gentleman at Walmart asked if I knew anything about whether parsley farmers got their wages garnished.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Nov 14 2017
Bought my mother in law some potting soil at Walmart.
She asked how much it was. I said "Don't worry, it was dirt cheap."
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 23 2018
The Walmart corporate basketball team has an awful point guard.
But they have a super center!
π︎ 20
π
︎ Jul 16 2014
"How much do pants at Walmart run?"
Asked by a co-worker who had torn his pants during his shift. I replied, "not much without legs in them." Then proceeded to get a high five from all the nearby fathers.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jan 18 2017
My dad every time we walk past the tennis isle at Walmart.
"Who's making all that racket?"
π︎ 32
π
︎ Sep 17 2013
Walmart
So my Dad's coworker was on the way to work last week, when he ran over the neighbor's cat, severing its tail completely. He immediately drove the cat to Walmart, the world's biggest re-tailer.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 13 2015
Did you guys hear the story about the angry man riding a Walmart kids bike?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 05 2016
At walmart
My girlfriend and I were grabbing some food at Walmart when she accidentally bumped into this other mans kart and he turned around and while looking at where the karts colloided said with a blank face "I really hope you have insurance"
For some reason it was the funniest thing ever to me, guess I'm into dad jokes.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Dec 10 2014
What would Walmart say if they bought out Target?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 16 2015
So I saw Tide colorguard in a walmart the other day....
...while shopping with my friends...picked it up and asked them "Is...is this Tide a part of the military?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 02 2015
Gives son $10 Gift Card to Walmart
Dad: "Don't Spend it all at one place"
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 02 2019
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