Walked past a pallet of nacho cheese at Costco today. Looked my daughter in the eye and said, β€œDylan, don’t touch”

Natcho-cheese.

I try.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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Just me playing the bass at Costco
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mickeyslim
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
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Checking out with the cashier at Costco when he asked "do you wanna box for your food?"

I said you dont want these hands son.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fartingpinetree
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
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Trying to grab some toilet paper among the crowd at Costco was really traumatic.

I think I have TPSD.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
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The Costco employee said "I'm sorry Sir, we're rationing.

[Looking over cart full of TP]

Me: "Nice to meet you Rationing, I'm Hoarding"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/robinson217
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
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Shopping at Costco or Sam's club is like driving a race car.

You go from $0 to $60 in a matter of seconds.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shitty_Orangutan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2020
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I thought Canadian Costcos were safe
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UncleVinnyLe
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
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I bought a PS4, played it every day, then returned it to Costco after three months.

I really gamed the system.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CSwork1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
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Why did the DJ go to Costco?

For the samples.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/litig8tor
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
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Dadjoked my sister at Costco

Her:picks up pair of pants and smells them "Ugh, they smell like a tire."
Me: "Well obviously, they're clothes."
Her: "What? That doesn't make sen-- OH MY GOD, YOU'RE SO STUPID."

It was the highlight of my day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eyeshaw99
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2014
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Costco is making their own chicken farm. Is this a war on chicken?

Sounds like a real chicken coup.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sedated_panda
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2019
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I had a great lunch at Costco today

I always relish their hotdogs.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
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I saw a worker stacking shelves at Costco complaining, because the top shelf was broken and he couldn't keep it up...

I think he had a wrecked aisle dysfunction...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2017
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Just went by Costco today and saw free pencil samples....

that's where I drew the line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/margraves
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2018
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My kids and I were at Costco this morning... We were looking for brown rice, they had only light brown rice... My son asked how they get light brown rice, to told him it was bi-rice-cial.... 😬
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Visionbuilder
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2016
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My daughter and I saw a man returning a treadmill to Costco. I said, "I wonder why he is returning that?" She said, "I don't know."

I said, "Because he didn't get anywhere with it."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drnotabene
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2018
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The costco man pulled this one on me today.

He was casually picking trash up and sweeping the floor. He asked how I was doing.

I replied fine and yourself?

He responded with, "I'm good, business is always picking up."

It took me a second to catch it, then I laughed for a good minute.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lexiangelina0115
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2014
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What's at the center of a Costco?

The Costcore.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeyHollywood
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2017
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Dadjoked by the Costco receipt checker

Ran into Costco to grab a take and bake pizza for dinner. As I handed my receipt (the only item was the pizza) to the guy at the door, I tried to give a lame joke and he returned the favor.

Me: don't lose count now, this is a tough one

Costco guy: well that's awfully cheesy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jonstradamus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2014
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Telling my dad about a good deal I saw at Costco

Me: "Dad, there's a really good deal on fertilizer at Costco. You should go check it out, it's super cheap."

Dad: "would you say it's dirt cheap?"

groan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sittininthemitten
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2015
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Shopping at Costco today...

Shopping with son today, walking past cheese section at Costco store (a warehouse style grocery chain that sells mainly items in bulk, at discount).

Son sees a rather large multi-pack of cheese, "Wow, look at all that Brie!"

"Whoa, that's so much, it's unBRIElieveable!"

At least he smiled after facepalming. Apologies to my son, but it needed sayin'.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaulyMcBee
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2014
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I got this dad at Costco

My actual dad was waiting for free samples while I waited along the side. Some other dad was rolling his cart and told me to watch my foot because his cart was not turning well.

I told him immediately after,"Well at least you have a trustworthy cart; it won't turn on you!"

My dad was really proud of me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timmaycrusader
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2015
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Every time my Dad goes to Costco...

... he sees a guy advertising vacuums.

Dad- "How's the vacuum business?" Salesman- "It's really picking up!" Dad- "Really?! I heard it sucks."

I laugh everytime

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mrseriousmoose
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2014
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Sitting at Costco tire center...

Guy asks if any of us are Verne. Guy next to me says, "Depends- what kind of car is it? Depends on if it's an upgrade."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CampBenCh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2013
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I'm guessing Costco is the origin of many dadjokes

My wife just received this email from her dad.

http://imgur.com/UA3kgN1

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JezusGhoti
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2014
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Dad joke in Costco

I'm checking out at Costco today when the cashier behind me yells to another employee, "Hey bill, can you get me some tens and twenties?!" An older dad is walking by and says, "Yeah Bill, I'll take some twenties too!"

I chuckled

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jojo9591
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2013
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