He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape.
He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.
When they get back to Yoda’s hovel, they find that some creature has chewed a hole in the fence around Yoda’s garden.
“Something I have for this.” Yoda says again. Once again, he takes a bunch of forks out of his bag and, using duct tape, tapes them in to patch the hole.
Yoda and Luke return to Yoda’s home, where Yoda looks through his bag. He’s used all his forks but one, he discovers.
“That’s ok Master." Luke says, wanting to be helpful. “I’ll write us a note reminding us to buy more.”
So he writes the note and uses the very last fork to pin it to the bulletin board.
He looks down at Yoda expecting pride, but instead finds a look of horror.
“Master Yoda!” he asks. “What did I do wrong?”
Yoda replies sagely, “A Jedi uses the forks for no ledge and the fence. Never for a tack!”
Must be why they call them hurry-canes.
He just has a chip on his shoulder.
I guess it's back to square won.
It wasn't great, but at least it was a novel tea.
His half-baked scheme didn't work out the way he had planned.
Maybe it's because we just got back from the beach
They wanted to try a New Delhi.
Hesitaters.
Like clockwork
Call me crazy, but I've never seen a train with legs before.
You could say she is having trouble with her dairy air.
Me: Hey doesn't tonight seem darker than usual?
Co-worker: Well isn't it a new moon or something.
Me: Well what happened to the old one?
My dad and I were watching the ball drop when Miley started performing 'Wrecking Ball'.
He turns to me and says, "Knock, knock"
Me, "Oh God, who's there?"
Him, "Hakeem"
Me, "Hakkem who?"
and right as the chorus came on, he sings at the top of his lungs,
"HAKEEEEEEM INNN LIKEEE A WREEECKKKKINNNGG BALLLL!"
Kids: "dad, where are we going?"
Dad: "This way!"
Kids: "Well what's this way?"
Dad: "South."
Kids: "But where are we going?"
Dad: "This way!"
This went on until we gave up asking. Then he'd end up at Home Depot or some other place we were completely uninterested in.
The waiter sets it down in front of him, and stands back to watch him enjoy it. But the man just sits there.
“Is there something wrong?” the waiter asks.
“I can’t eat this soup,” the man replies.
“Is it too hot?” the waiter asks. “No.” “Too cold?” “No.” “Too salty?” “No.”
The waiter calls for the maitre d’, and for the chef, and each goes through the same routine: “Too hot?” “Too cold?” “No, no no.”
Finally the chief, at his wits end, says, “Sir, I will taste the soup myself. Where is the spoon?”
Says the old man: “A-ha!”
Playing soccer with my 8 year old brother (I'm sortve like an uncle to him) when he then says his eye is hurting.
Me: Really are you okay?
Him: Yeah it's alright. It happens sometimes when I'm reading and i can't make out the words.
Me: (thinking he may have dyslexia) Oh really, what happens to the words when you try to read them?
Him: I can't read them. Sometimes words just moosh together, like "they" and "are" become one word, it's weird.
Me: Maybe you just have conjunctivitis!
XD
(Then had to explain what "conjunctivitis" and a "conjunction" is - still a win in my books)
My dad replied "well people are just dying to get in there"
I tell her I'm flexible and touch my toes. She is not amused.
The fundamental nature of being a dad:
http://www.threepanelsoul.com/comics/2015-02-23-359.png
It wasn't great, but it was at least a novel tea.
