nah, dont bother. you wont get it, it's an inside joke.
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ouosvvav
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I can’t understand why my calculator wont work.

It just doesn’t add up.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justbeatitTTD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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I wont try that
πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheWildNazis
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
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Due to the state of quarantine i wont be posting regular jokes

Itll be only inside jokes from now

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CornLuck
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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Tequila wont fix your life..

..But its definitely worth a shot.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Onli-Wan-Kenoli
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
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What do a mechanic and a lesbian have in common?

Snap-On tools!

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thirteen_20
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter what you call him..

He wont come anyways

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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I don't know what the word "stubborn" means

But I won't stop until I figure it out.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scarvius
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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Trust me the coronavirus wont last long.

Because it's made in china

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pediepew
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know why Melania wont sleep in the same bed as Donald?

He refuses to stop Putin

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JCokeDaKilla
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I heard this i while back don’t remember where its from, sorry if it seems butchered(longish)

One day a loving husband and father of 2 sons comes home, one of the sons asks him to come upstairs, so he comes upstairs and his son saysβ€œdad, im gay” the father, surprised says β€œwell, okay, i still support you son”.
The next day the father comes home to his other son asking him to come upstairs, he goes and the son also comes out as gay, the loving father says β€œboth you and your brother, i wont have any kids, but, i still support you”........ ........ ........ ........ ........ ........ The father then walks down stairs to go and play with the family dog(male) and finds him in the backyard humping the neighbors(also male) dog. The father walks back into the house and exclaims β€œDoes anyone in this house like women”.
His wife taps him on the sholder

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zeek7Br-Ba
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Two blokes go for a job. Before they can get the job they are asked some questions.

One said to the other i wont get the job i not good at questions. Dont worry said the other i go in first and i will tell you the answers? So he goes in the boss said to him; If i poke you in the left eye what would happen. I would go half blind. If i poke you right eye what would happen. I would go fully blind. Congratulations you have got the job. Send the other candidate in. As the other candidate was going in the he said the answers are Half blind and Fully blind. Thanks mate and goes to see the boss. Right said the boss if i cut your ear off what would happen. I would go half blind. Okay said the boss if i cut your other ear off what would happen. I would go fully blind. The boss looks puzzled and said how do you make that out. He said thats obvious.

My cap would fall over my eyes!!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Buzz him in!
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/heusenleo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2019
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Hey sweetie I want a new knife for fathers day. I'd use this one..

But it just wont cut it.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Saosin713
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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Asked My Date To Meet Me At The Gym, But She Never Showed Up...

Guess the two of us aren’t going to work out

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hana-Chi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the most sexual object in the world?

A door, because it wont stop banging the frame.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirSnuffy
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why wont elves drive mini mokes?

Cause mokins an elf hazard

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Crazylegs_Ohooley
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2016
🚨︎ report
Looks like we wont be playing Yahtzee after all

No dice

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2018
🚨︎ report
In the future, we wont need to put our noisy pets on airplanes

We will have catapults

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Wanna hear a joke about covid?

Never mind you probably wont get it.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toast_daddy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
🚨︎ report
In protest of these lockdowns...

I wont be getting my hair cut until they're lifted!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Screamimgmonkey
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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My wife said she's going to leave me if I don't stop with the click bait

You wont believe what happened next!

πŸ‘︎ 98
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πŸ‘€︎ u/karma-enigma
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Is Google Assistant a dad?

http://i.imgur.com/KD1dxhgh.jpg

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GiveMeBackMySon
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2016
🚨︎ report
Every single morning I get hit by the same bike...

It's a vicious cycle

πŸ‘︎ 316
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kameshkii
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2018
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Try walking up behind someone and scare them

They wont see it coming

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What concert costs 45 cents?

What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring nickelback

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fifthpick2004
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
🚨︎ report
keep scrolling pls

i'd tell you a joke about bones. but it probably wont be a humerus as it should be. tibia honest, it doesnt have a lot of back bone put into it. it'll just make me seem like a numb skull anyways so, imma go skullking in the bar. see ya

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FrozenScavengers
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Those northern canadians can smell a liar a mile away

And they wont have Nunavut

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
🚨︎ report
πŸ‘︎ 163
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πŸ‘€︎ u/time_to_zebra
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2016
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A bug hit my windshield today...

I bet he wont have the guts to do that again.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kylie871
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a deaf person wearing a blue shirt

Doesnt matter, they wont hear you

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JCokeDaKilla
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Someone told me I'm super vague

Lets just say they wont be saying that any more

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PdawgUltimate
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
🚨︎ report
He must've done this 20+ times

I'll be sitting in the passenger seat. Perhaps on my phone. My dad will point out to the street and say 'Hey'. Naturally this gets my attention. I usually respond with 'What?' He wont answer. I'll look over and he'll be pointing at a Truck transporting a large number of bales of hay. I look at him. Smuggest look of satisfaction on his face.

Edit: I can't spell. I'm like a clam Edit 2:http://i.imgur.com/mTme2Jo.jpg

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_doodlebop
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2014
🚨︎ report
My son's teacher said I'm educating my son well, and to continue to do what i was doing at home...

Guess I wont stop beating him then...

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UltimatePeanut
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
🚨︎ report
A guy signs up for the army and goes to get his equipment after he’s been processed.

When he gets to the place where he’s supposed to pick up his rifle the man tells him thatΒ he just ran out. β€œIf you need to shoot just say β€˜BANGITY BANG BANGITY BANG!'” he says. Bummed out and little confused, the guy moves on to the next areaΒ where he’s supposed to pick up the bayonet. But the next man is out too. β€œIf you need to stab someone justΒ go, β€˜STICKITY STICK STICKITY STICK!'” he says. Dejected and wondering what the heck he signed up for, the guy jumps into the next truck on its wayΒ to the front where there’s a battle raging on.

Side by side with the rest of the soldiers in his unit, the guy advances on the enemy position. As soon as he sees the enemy, he shouts, β€œBANGITY BANG BANGITY BANG!!” Amazingly, the enemy soldierΒ drops to the ground. Encouraged by his success he charges the next two enemy soldiers and goes, β€œSTICKITY STICK STICKITY STICK!” They both immediately collapse in front of him. This is incredible, he thinks, I’ve become unstoppable.

So when he sees his next foeΒ way off in the distance, he shouts,Β β€œBANGITY BANG BANGITY BANG!” at him. He waits for him to fall, but nothing happens. The guy charges his unfazedΒ adversaryΒ nextΒ and goes β€œSTICKITY STICK STICKITY STICK!” Again he thinks the man will fall and again nothingΒ happens. β€œWhy wont you drop?” the guy says. The enemy soldier knocks him down andΒ responds, β€œTANKITY TANK TANKITY TANK!”

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lavidius
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My brother was just admitted to hospital after being absorbed into an electrical circuit.

The doctors wont let me see him in his Current condition...

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Me: Dad, can you give me some advice? Dad: Sure, if your gonna bet a nut on something, always bet your right nut

Me: Okayyyy....but why?

Dad: Because if you bet the other one you wont have any left.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Synisive
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
🚨︎ report
My daughter asked me, "Daddy why do I have to go to bed?"

I replied, "Because the bed wont come to you!"

πŸ‘︎ 352
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you say to your dad who is on the roof when the ladder falls?

"don't worry dad! I wont let you down! "

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1SirJohnSmith1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
🚨︎ report
A joke about Coronavirus...

You probably wont get it.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/S0ngH3art
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
🚨︎ report
You wanna hear a joke about an unstamped letter

Nevermind you wont get it

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LILWOMPUS
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
🚨︎ report

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