I normally knock on the fridge door before I open it...
Just in case there’s a salad dressing
I haven’t had a haircut in months, and I normally hate long hair, but I told my wife...
Do you know what kind of shoes sex offenders normally wear?
I don’t normally tell dad jokes
But when I do.
They laugh.
I have had a decorator in this week. Turns out he is normally a Pilot for BA, but has been furloughed due to Corona.
He did a lovely job of the landing.
I mean normally the customer service at the chip shop is fine. But when there's huge lines and only a few teens working there? Then it's...
My friend the comedian normally gets lots of applause after his act, but the last time it was nothing but boos...
He must have been having a bad har day.
Normally if I have a problem, I like to go and think about it on the local carousel.
It usually helps, but I feel like I’m going around in circles
Why don't bishops normally get paid?
Because if they were, they would bi-shoppin
I don't normally make puns about fractions...
But I will if I halve two.
I normally trust Benjamin Franklin’s judgement on most issues.
He’s usually on the money.
During the summer you can normally say it's a nice day. But during winter...
...its usually an ice day.
Normally my electronic scale shows a number, like "205". But today when I checked my weight, it just said "Low".
So I'm feeling pretty good about myself.
I'm a pretty good golfer and I normally shoot in the low 80s
Any hotter than that is uncomfortable
I normally like a good conversation about cheese however, it's not this case oh
I believe it's wrong for humans to selectively breed dogs until their faces are smashed flat and they can't breathe normally.
I normally pay for my shopping by card, but today I used cash
I wanted to make a change
Why don't you normally see birds near the field at sporting events
Because they prefer the cheep cheap seats
Unexpected dad joke from Mom... My dad was grilling pork chops today. Normally not a fan, but I decided to try a bite. It was delicious, so I turned to my dad and said, "Wow Dad! These pork chops are really well done!" From behind me, Mom quipped...
"Actually, they're medium-well."
I paused for a good 10 seconds as it began to sink in, and then gave her the biggest applause I could.
I'm so happy.
Not normally a dad-joker, but this was too good to pass up..
Scene: kitchen, mother buttering scones as I converse with her. One breaks apart.
Me: "it's all scone wrong!"
Cue groans
My wife, who has been a bit sick lately, normally a staunch opponent of the 'Dad Joke', got me pretty good the other day.
Her: 'I feel a bit Belgian this morning.'
Me: 'What?'
Her: 'Ya know? Phlegmish!'
It's been haunting me ever since. Now anytime I make a dad-joke, rather than groaning she just responds, 'eh, still not as good as mine.'
I normally love this sub, but here's the thing...
Normally I get stressed out around Thanksgiving...
...I've got so much on my plate!
We were discussing the carpool a few years ago and there was heavy traffic on every single route we normally take.
Dad: At least we dont have to take the battery tunnel to get to school.
Me: Why?
Dad: Because then we'd have carpool tunnel syndrome.
I normally knock on the fridge door before I open it...
Just in case there's a salad dressing
I don’t normally tell dad jokes
I never normally tell dad jokes.
I don’t normally tell dad jokes but when i do
I never normally tell dad jokes
I don't normally tell dad jokes
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