My friends just told me that efts grow to be small salamanders that are usually semiaquatic as adults...
My wife works with birds at the zoo. The other day I asked her about the lifespan of a falcon. She said they usually live for about 15 to 20 years.
"I guess that means all the Millennial Falcons are gone."
People are usually shocked...
When they find out I am not a very good electrician.
Whenever a book publisher refuses to accept my hand-delivered unsolicited autobiography, I usually just squeeze it as hard as I can with my thighs...
so that it's easier to walk away with my tale between my legs.
I'm not usually secretive when it comes to base units.
But there is one that makes me KG.
As a guitarist, I'm usually asked what's my favorite solo of all time.
It gets very hard to pick
Doors usually aren't rude
but if you bump into one, it might start swinging.
I don’t usually brag about going to expensive places..
But I just left the gas station.
I don’t usually tell dad jokes.
Because when I do, he never laughs!
I usually don't care what other people are saying...
....until they start whispering.
My Child's Paediatrician is usually a bit short tempered when we visit, but then again..
..She always had little patients.
This one usually works
Did this one on my friend, and she slapped me in the head.
Me: I got two jokes for you
Her: Okay, try it
Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Her: Dunno
Me: To get to the house of the person who finally understood the joke
Her: I don't get it
Me: You don't? Isn't it obvious?
Her: No. I don't get it
Me: Okay okay, let me try the other joke
Her: Go ahead
Me: Knock Knock
Her: Who's there?
Me: The Chicken
Her *slap*
I don't usually make bread puns
They're always too crummy
I usually think on my feet, but when a curse turned me into a cat,
Dad initiation joke... When my wife and son were discharged by the hospital after he was born, they said we have to get a pediatric appointment within the next few days. They said they usually fit new borns in.
I said, they absolutely have space- he’s only 20 inches and 6 lbs. [holding my hands up showing how small he is].
I usually prefer electric appliances
But after seeing my dirty underwear I think I prefer my gas dryer.
Why can't bicycles usually stand on their own?
They're usually two tired
People are usually shocked that I have a Police record.
But I love their greatest hits!
I usually stay out of politics, but - and this is a big but - ...
>!https://imgur.com/xDwJi0C!<
My neighbors always play Lionel Richie very loudly and usually I don't mind.....
But yesterday it was All Night Long
My girlfriend usually has peanut butter toast for breakfast, but this morning we were out of bread, and she’s been grouchy all day.
I never knew she was lack-toast intolerant.
What time of the year is it usually fly or die for baby birds?
I live on top of the mountain and i usually have 99 problems
How come melons don’t usually marry?
some honeys do, but most cantaloupe.
I don't usually brag about my drum jokes but um...
I know senior year usually flies by.
Didn't think it would Zoom.
Puns about the body are usually corny. But puns about the eyes are even
While driving down in a part of town we don't usually visit, my 12yo son noticed and mentioned a barber shop named Roman Palace.
I told him they only do Caesar cuts.
You know, I don't understand why so many people complain about acne. I mean, don't people usually have twoknee?
I don’t usually go grocery shopping, so when my mom asked to buy lettuce, I had to tell myself to romaine calm
I usually sing with a deep voice. But when I wash my hands,
I don’t usually make puns about dividing numbers...
But I will make one if I halve two.
I usually can’t use monkey bars
But I’m getting the hang of it
I don’t usually tell dad jokes.
But when I do, he laughs.
People are usually shocked...
When they find out I'm not a good electrician
People are usually shocked that I have a police record.
But I love their Greatest hits !
People are usually shocked when they find out I'm not a very good electrician.
I don’t usually tell dad jokes.
But when I do, he doesn’t laugh.
I dont usually tell dad jokes, but when I do.
I don't usually tell dad jokes...
But when I do, he always laughs.
I don't usually share my dad jokes.
What jokes can I tell to someone that doesn't exist?
People are usually shocked when they find out I’m not a very good electrician.
I don’t usually tell dad jokes
But when I do, he often laughs
People are usually shocked when they find out I am not a good electrician.
People are usually shocked when they find out I’m not a very good electrician
I don't usually tell dad jokes
But when I do , he laughs
People are usually shocked when they find out I'm not a great electrician.
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