A-whim-away A-whim-away A-whim-away
Travoltage.
I realised I was having a Senor moment
Now I smoke the same but without the urge.
Electile dysfunction
Father and son from Oklahoma finally get the chance to visit British isles. So they have a beer in London, bag of crisps in Birmingham, they enjoy a slice of the famous Chevington cheese in Newcastle, and as they slowly traveled Northward, they both get the urge to go fishing in the famous Scottish Lochs.
And so it came to pass, that in Glasgow, they bought a one-day fishing permit (and it was quite costly), rented the fishing equipment from a reputable shop and made their way along the A81 to Loch Katrine.
There, they found a pier which rented rowboats and went quite a distance into the dark-blue expanse, to get away from what they presumed were the traditional fishing grounds of the natives.
Enjoying the sparse sunshine and the clear air, they fished for about an hour, catching not much, when suddenly, the boy's line got a bite. Within 10 seconds it was plain, that he wasn't strong enough for it, so the father took over and for some 10 minutes, sweating and groaning, battled the fish and eventually got it in sight and then even onboard their boat.
It was a massive trout. Scarred, fins ripped in places, massive mouth opening and closing in anger. Both its eyes were gouged out ages ago, it appeared. It was hoppin' about on the decks of their little boat.
Father removed the hook from the trout's mouth and he said to the son: "Ah well, take a picture of this chungus and then we'll have to let 'im go." "But why dad?" "Well sonny, if I recall the terms of our permit, we're not allowed to catch fsh."
- It's okay, I got one too
Then I realized I was just having a Señor moment
Reports say flying debrie is the main cause of concern
I wish he wasn't influenced so much by pop culture.
Lately I've been such a caustic person, all because of my Sesquipedality! I'm still flabbergasted, about that!
is that I still have to go in tomorrow.
...nowadays, you can just take something for it.
He craved a pie.
Original: He had to pi.
Edit:// Pi works better if you read them letter by letter, and in non-English so I’m keeping both!
Those who cannot remember the Pabst are doomed to repeat it.
By using a ruler
My son wasn't doing well in the school he was in so my wife and I decided to pull him and try something else. I had a meeting with his new teacher to discuss curriculum and the things he will learn and I couldn't stop thinking about how attractive she was.
She caught me checking her out and seemed annoyed at first but then gave me a look that she liked it. I made my move and she responded positively. One thing lead to another and we ended up having sex. It was really good and I can't wait to have sex with her again.
So I would say that homeschooling is going pretty well so far.
(Joke's not original. But i thought this sub would like this}
Now i don't have any charges.
I never could stand up to pier pressure.
Long time fan, first time poster.
(x-post from /r/TalesFromRetail)
[was told I should post it here as well]
This happened shortly after I started back to work in retail.
My grocery shift had just started and I was about to begin facing one end of an aisle when I spotted a man in his mid to late 30s at the other end of the aisle. We made eye contact and he made a beeline straight for me.
Me: "Hi. How are you today?"
Him: "Do you know what to do if you get a sudden urge to strip off all your clothes and run around naked in public?"
Now, at this moment, I'm not sure what's happening. I can't pick up any clues from his body language that would indicate where this conversation is going to go. I'm a wee bit concerned that this man is about to start taking off his clothes in front of me. Not exactly what I had planned for the day. He's staring at me intently, waiting for a reply. I don't want to spook him, so I do the only thing I can think of and that's just to stand there and stare at him silently.
After a few seconds, he says to me "Just spray yourself down with Windex. It prevents streaking. Have a nice day!"
He grins and walks away. I started laughing (a little too hysterically ... mostly because of relief).
Unfortunately, he has a low alcohol tolerance, so it did not take him long to be drunk.
He felt a strong urge to pee, and in his drunken state, decided to answer nature's call right on the sand.
Then, out of nowhere comes a lady, also a tourist. She was frightened and shrieked: "Gross!"
"Danke."
Is just a whim away
A whim away
A whim away
It is just a whim away.
It’s just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away
It's just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away.
A whim away, a whim away.
A whim away, a whim away, a whim away
~A whim away A whim away A whim away
a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away
Is always just a whim away.
A whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away
A whim away, A whim away, A whim away, oh no...
...a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away...
...is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away...
A whim away, a whim away, a whim away...
Is only ever
A whim away A whim away
a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away...
...is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away.
Is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away
It's just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away
It's always just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away....
A whim away a whim away a whim away
