Spur of the moment pun

My wife got something in her eye and grabbed the first towel she could find which happened to be my shower towel. She says

"Great I'm probably rubbing my eyes right where you had your balls"

Me: "yup, now you have eye balls"

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👤︎ u/JezyJezyJezy
📅︎ May 23 2019
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The San Antonio Spurs do not like Indian food.

Especially curry.

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👤︎ u/engfish
📅︎ Jan 26 2016
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ESPN Headline: NBA Gms pick Spurs to repeat as champions

Well they're the only team that can repeat, so who else were they gonna pick!

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👤︎ u/baconpig07
📅︎ Oct 23 2014
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The gunslinger walks through the saloon doors...

and he just stands there, surveying the assemblage as the room goes quiet. And suddenly he yells, "All you dirty bastards, GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"

And the crowd rushing the exists raises a cloud of dust, obscuring vision. When it settled, the gunslinger notices one little wizened old man tucked in a corner beside the piano. The gunslinger walks over, his spurs making a small jingling sound. He stands in front of the still-seated old man. "WELL?," he demands.

The old man looks up earnestly into the gunslinger's face, "Sure was a lot of 'em, wasn't ther?".

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👤︎ u/Shagata_Ganai
📅︎ Aug 25 2019
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A man goes to buy a horse (long)

So he finds the man who owns the horse. The owner takes him to the stable. The buyer asks to take the horse for a test ride.

 

"Okay," says the owner. "But I'm a retired church pastor. The horse will only go forward if you say, 'Praise the lord.' He will only stop moving if you say 'Hallelujah.' "

 

Feeling annoyed, the buyer says "That's fine," and he gets up on the horse. After the seller returns to the house, the buyer, mounted on the horse, whips the reins and says, "Hiyah!!" The horse doesn't move. "Yah," he said, spurring the horse. Still no movement. Feeling a little embarrassed and stupid, he complied to the owner's instruction. "Praise the Lord," he mumbled, and the horse began quickly trotting away from the stable.

 

Wow, the buyer thought, excited. I wonder how fast this horse can go. "Praise the Lord," he said, this time at normal volume. The horse sped up considerably.

 

Amazing! I must have this horse! the buyer thought.

... keep reading on reddit ➡

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👤︎ u/littlekuribandit
📅︎ Jun 27 2017
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I went to the rodeo for the first time

It was kind of spur of the moment.

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👤︎ u/rice9012
📅︎ Sep 05 2018
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My Wife Could Never Be A Dad

I was at the store and asked her via text what kind of chips she preferred between Sour cream and onion or cheddar and sour cream. This is how it all went down:

Me: Do you like Sour cream and onion or cheddar and sour cream?

Her: Both

Me: Pick one.

Her: Spur cream and onion

Me: is that a new flavor? Sounds spicy. Almost as if it had a pretty good kick.

silence

Me: ......

Her: Huh?

Me: ugh!

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👤︎ u/USAFHART
📅︎ Sep 27 2017
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Hit my family while watching jack the giant slayer...

While watching said movie; one of the little people actors popped up on screen spurring a mid movie discussion.

Mom : wasn't he from willow?

Dad: nawh I think he died a few years ago.

Mom: he died young I guess. He was what, 18 in willow?

Me: yeah it's scientifically proven that they live shorter lives.

Then my dad let out the proudest smile I ever saw

Clarification: they're all fine. Warwick davis is alive and well. He is now 44 years old. And I'm 24

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👤︎ u/ohcrayyy
📅︎ Apr 19 2014
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