Okay the skeleton of the pun is:
- the bar is low
- the bar is so low it's in hell
- the devil's advocate passed the bar
This joke holds a special place in my heart. My grandpa told me it and I never forgot it. About 2 years later when I brought it up to him, he didn't remember it. So I told him the joke and he peed himself laughing ... At his own joke.
"Why did the man ask for his eggs Benedict to be served on a hubcap?"
"Because there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise"
PunGent
Tried posting in Dad jokes sub and I guess it was the wrong place for a triple pun.
And my dad looks at it and goes, "It's a small bouquet in every sense of the word! Triple pun, hoo baby!"
I beat everyone by leaps and bounds.
He puts some optional inserts for carseats into the carrier basket under the stroller. Tells me they're space umbrellas.
I ask him, "whatever would we need a space umbrella for?"
Without missing a beat, he says "meteor showers."
I'm not exaggerating at all, but this was too good not to share.
A long jumper.
Just know that I donβt give eeffoc until Iβve had my coffee
Edit: Thanks for the awards, didnβt know it was going to be so hot
Double-Double edit: I am really energized from all these awards, words cannot espresso how much this beans to me
Triple-Triple edit: The edits are officially a blend of coffee puns and longer than the punchline, but I donβt give eeffoc
4X4 edit: 6000 upvotes holy. Thanks a latte!
3 ciders
He had a change of heart at the last minute.
It's called B. B. Qing
She didnβt like how I was always pushing her around.
I thought she would come crawling back, but I think itβs safe to say she canβt stand me.
Went to a local ballet theatre production of beauty and the beast yesterday with some friends.
Friend 1: what level is this company? Obviously not a big city one Me: probably like a minor league, though not sure if double-A, triple-A, or just single-A Friend 2: it's balLET!
0mg!
He diagnosed me with a complex complex complex.
K: Iβm hungry D: hi hungry Iβm dad K: ugh dad Iβm serious D: sorry Iβm confused I thought your name was hungry K: are you kidding me? D: no, Iβm dad
They're free of charge!
Now his business is toast.
but it's basically the same thing as triple A ay.
My 15 year old asked me to call the dog.
Me: What should I call him?!
15: ugh, dad, call him by his name!
Wife: But he doesn't have a phone, how can I call him?
9-year-old: Well he DOES have collar ID!
I couldn't be more proud of that child!
no, he's always "slip slidin away"
AAA: Sir, this is Triple A, not AA.
Me: I know, I'm trying to explain why my car is in the lake.
Itβs just another product of inflation
Headline: "Artie chokes three for a dollar at the A&P."
To be sure, to be sure, to be sure.
One cold winter's morning he was walking along a country road, when he heard a cry for help from a nearby lake.
He turned to see a little girl struggling in the broken ice in the middle of the lake. She'd been skating and had fallen into the icy water. Without a moment's hesitation the tramp ran onto the ice and slipped and slided over to the little girl. He managed to pull her out without breaking the ice further and he carried her back to the road.
He took off his coat and wrapped the little girl in it and began looking for a car to flag down. A few moments later a huge chauffeur-driven limo pulled up, and who stepped out but the little girl's father - the mayor of the nearby town and a multi-millionaire.
"How can I ever thank you sir?" says the father after putting his daughterinto the warmth of the limo.
"Just name your price - I'm a wealthy man."
"Ahem, well ..." stammered the tramp "...eh I'm a little short of cash, perhaps you could help me out"
"Certainly" says the girl's father and he pulls out his wallet.
"Oh dear" says the father, "I don't carry much cash with me, I only have ten dollars - but come home with me and I'll get more from the safe"
"No! No!" says the tramp, "Why ten dollars is more money than I've seen in my whole life - that will be plenty".
"Well, if you insist" says the father - "now what will you do with your money?"
"Oh that's easy" says the tramp "I've not had a rest in 20 years. I think I'll buy myself a holiday"
"Well good luck" says the father, and he gets into the car and signals his chauffeur to drive home.
"Ten Dollars" thinks the tramp, "I'm rich! I'm rich!", and off he goes to the town, to buy himself a holiday.
He finds a travel agent, walks in - much to the disgust of the staff - and goes up to the desk.
"I'll have one holiday please!"
"Ahem, which holiday would sir like" asked the girl at the desk, forcing a smile.
"Oh, any holiday I don't mind" replied the tramp.
"Well how much money does sir have to spend on sir's holiday?"
"Oh lots - anything up to ten dollars"
"TEN DOLLARS!! You'll never get a holiday for ten dollars" says the girl incredulously.
"Oh dear" said the tramp, "and I was so looking forward to a holiday - I'll probably never get another chance - isn't there anything you can do?"
"Well I don't think so sir, but hold on and I'll check"
The girl goes into the back of the shop, and searches in the deepest, dustiest filing drawers she can find. There - to her amazement -
... keep reading on reddit β‘Triple Neigh π΄
"...a triple klutz"
Eh,eh,eh or Triple Eh as some of us call it.
Their words, not mine.
βMy left knee, my right knee, and my wee-nieβ
Was closing at the restaurant I worked at, when someone started breaking down the iced tea station. While checking if any tables were drinking it, she asked "Tim, do you need tea?"
Before he could respond, I said "of course he does. Without it, he'd be Im.
I studied the Gallup Polls
