What currency do graveyard groundskeepers trade with?

Crypt-toe currency.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Samwyzh
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
🚨︎ report
What does John Legend say when he wants to trade crypto with you?

Give yours alts to me, I'll give my alts to you....🎡

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sanehussain
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
🚨︎ report
I am a butcher by trade & yesterday I accidently backed into the meat grinder

I got a little behind in my work

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
🚨︎ report
If you’re teaching a new plumber the ropes of the trade you’re technically…

Potty training

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RICKDOGG424
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
🚨︎ report
I can't believe I was able to trade a piece of fruit for a measuring device.

(Banana for scale)

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NeverBob
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Since the very beginning, man has been panning for gold and using it as trade.

Our ancestors called it the prime-ore-deal soup

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sanicle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I got banned from the buy sell trade group for this but it was worth it. imgur.com/jrZ6LX8
πŸ‘︎ 409
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of photos would chickens trade on tinder?

chicken noods

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThnderGunExprs
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Told my wife when she turns 40, I was gonna have to trade her in on 2, 20's

She said that I wasn't wired for it.....

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jalkl
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried to trade a deer for fireworks

I want the best bang for my buck

πŸ‘︎ 224
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Matthew_______
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a woman trades sex for a tattoo?

Tit-for-Tatt

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Malak77
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
🚨︎ report
A door to door salesman knocked on my door and before I could say anything he said, "A person's regular occupation, profession, or trade..."

Just from the first sentence, I knew he meant business.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Prototype273
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Best trade ever
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bongnazi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2018
🚨︎ report
Why is the head sister usually known as a jack-of-all-trades?

Because she's a master of nun.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did Sauron trade in his sports car for a sedan?

He needed Mordors

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/obrainless
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Trade

I got a gun for my wife....................

It was a GOOD trade!!!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My grandparents disowned me after I joined the trades as a brick-layer.

They eventually reconciled after I got a promotion, but still consider me as a meh-son.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BigFootV519
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I noticed that 80% of woodworkers have bad backs from their trade.

So I’m starting a lumbar support group.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nftpc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the woman who was approaching men wanting to trade sex for a spaghetti dinner?

She was arrested for pasta-tution

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Seems like a good trade
πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Petey1210
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of boat do sailors learn their trade on?

An apprenticeship

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fdlowe
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the trade name of a robot nun?

Sistermatic

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/air28uk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a person who trades rubber tyres for a living?

A Treader.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pabesh17
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
🚨︎ report
As a US citizen, seeing all of these trade wars occuring with our country has me tarrified.
πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/clit_or_us
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2018
🚨︎ report
A customer called today looking for "organic, vegan, free-trade personal lubricant"

I've finally found a way to beat my meat cruelty free.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NotagoK
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a gathering of T-Rex to share their art and trade good?

A T-Rexpo

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rine117
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Why has it always been One Week since Trump threatened a trade war?

Because he's playing chicken with China, the Chinese chicken.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/infinitecogs
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Hitting a deer with your car is always an unfair trade.

You're out the cost of the insurance deductible, but nature is only out a buck.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MelkorHimself
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Before money people used to trade things like venison.

A house cost twenty bucks.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ralph3576
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2018
🚨︎ report
How did the economist describe the trade wars?

Tariffying

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DRH7660
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm a little low on money at the moment to buy Injustice 2. I plan on trading games back to GameStop even though I will get next to nothing for it. I'll even trade in my original Injustice game for it...

that's what I call poetic injustice.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Everwars
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2017
🚨︎ report
When I trade four quarters for a paper dollar

my $1 bill is the ex-change

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/garbagearmy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Bakers only trade bread recipes...

on a knead-to-know basis.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2017
🚨︎ report
How would you describe the worst trade the Boston Red Sox ever made

Completely Ruthless

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hbsquatch
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2017
🚨︎ report
Bring your kids to work day today. So I brought my buoys. Guess I'll show them the ropes of the trade imgur.com/u1UpGr3
πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/welfarejohn
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2015
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that Egyptian cotton is now mostly fair trade?

Apparently they're planting it in fair rows.

Edit: Several thousand tons of mummified animals have been used as fertiliser.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2017
🚨︎ report
Where Do Cows Trade Milk?

The Moo York Stock Exchange

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JonasTheRipper
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2017
🚨︎ report
I've been practicing the Dadjoke trade on my girlfriend

So my girlfriend was doing some readings from her law textbook, and I was looking over her shoulder reading the thrilling book.

Me: "WHO's the World Health Organisation."

Her: "Ha. Ha."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hodgkinsonable
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.