My German car has some weird specs for torquing the lug nuts

The manual just says to get them gutentight

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jt2893
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 04 2017
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Proud dad moment: I was showing my 11 yr old son how to swap my winter and summer wheels. After he carried them over, and we torqued the lug nuts, he saidโ€ฆ

โ€œman, that was tiringโ€

and then he asked โ€œsee what I did there?โ€ A torch has been passedโ€ฆ

๐Ÿ‘︎ 1k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dmusicstud
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 30 2022
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How does a German know when a lug nut is properly torqued?

They wrench until itโ€™s gudentite

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Calm_Fan_381
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 05 2021
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Torque appropriated circumstances call for -in kind- repeat applied force when concerned with most of yer dried and salted pork products and jovial responses.
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/brutalproduct
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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My son asked me what the difference was between horsepower and torque. I explained that horsepower is often more expensive the greater the amount...

...whereas torque is cheap.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Blarty97
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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American torque: 60 ft-lbs. English torque: 82 Nโ€ขm

German torque: Gรผtentite.

Russian torque: ะ‘Rะคาœิะคำบำบ!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/sirgunsalot
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 30 2021
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My PhD was about torque

I guess that makes me a spin doctor

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Valdagast
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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My date said she knew everything about the moment of force, so I started questioning her about it and she walked off.

I thought she was all torque.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/incredibleinkpen
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 24 2022
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I walked down the street dressed as a screwdriver

I turned a few heads

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/OwenJthomas89
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 03 2021
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What does my physics professor like to do at the club?

He likes to torque.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/some_two_cents
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 12 2022
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In what is the torque of Chinese women measured?

In bound feet.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ottotrees
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 24 2016
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What is the standerd German torque value?

gutentight

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/yankee-bor
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 08 2014
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German mechanics

How tight do German mechanics torque the bolts?

Guten tight!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/roznerd
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 01 2021
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I can never have a good conversation about wrenches with anyone...

I guess there just isnโ€™t that much to torque about.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/LazyBeast_Gaming
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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A company that makes powerful pick up trucks in a northern city of England started by a famous Icelandic electronic pop artist.

It's Bjรถrk's York Torque Corp.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dhdoctor
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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My friend told me he could tighten bolts with his butt

Personally, I think he torques out of his ass

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Clbull
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 28 2019
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Did you hear about the diesel engine who wouldn't shut up?

He was all torque.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/djbamc
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 23 2018
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I got my Friend while working on his car

We had a nut that we could not get off by hand, we had a cheater bar and still could not get it free. He decided to use his leg to push the cheater bar. I asked him how many "Foot" pounds of torque he got that way.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/toeonly
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 16 2015
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Wouldn't be Christmas dinner without a terrible Dad joke.

My brother was talking about his new torque wrench, and my dad says "You should be careful with that", and, as we all glare at him, waiting for the punchline, he says, "Didn't Miley Cyrus get in trouble for torque-ing?"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/goodgod-lemon
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 26 2013
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