Toothbrushes Puns

They believe it came from the Flossiraptor

There's no plaque.

If it were invented anywhere else, it would be called a “teethbrush”

If it had been invented any where else it would be called a teeth brush.

I was shocked.

If you don’t know, you better be careful next time you brush your teeth.

It left a bad taste in my mouth

"Why do you need it? There's should be plenty of toilet-trees there"

No son, it's just gone acoustic.

Otherwise it would be called a teethbrush wouldn't it?

“Just brush it off!”

Me from the other room, "No, use a toothbrush".

He talks.

It's breath-taking

Finally, she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.

I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.

I was gone only a minute and when I came out, I handed her a toothbrush.

I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a slight limp...

because it's not working.

I say "What's it so fraid of?"

Technically, he did. FFS Dad

Anyone else would of called it a teethbrush.

Now all I need is a toothbrush.

Our boys got bags with new toothbrushes and stuff from their dentist visit. Out oldest looked inside and said "hey, it cane with floss!"

Without looking up from the TV, I blurted out "that's floss-some".

A toothbrush, a bed, and a chair.

Credit to u/echonight . This is a cross post from r/askreddit

There are two identical twin brothers that live together. One happens to be a well-respected dentist, and the other can't seem to keep a job. Instead of actively looking for work, he likes to sit around at home. One Saturday, the dentist is hungry, and puts his brother on the spot. He tells him to get off his lazy behind and go get them some food. After some protest, the lazy brother takes the car and leaves for the store. In the meantime, the dentist takes a nap on his day off. He turns off his phone so he won't be interrupted.

About 30 minutes later, the lazy brother gets into a head-on collision in the intersection by the grocery store. His vital signs are fading; he's unconscious and barely moving. An ambulance picks him up and rushes him to the hospital. He ends up in the Emergency Room under observation, but his condition is critical. They try calling his dentist brother, but he doesn't pick up because his phone is off.

The dentist wakes to a knock on the door. Suspecting a solicitor, he ignores it, but the knocking continues. Eventually, he resolves to get up and yell at the person at the door. When he does, he reveals--- the grim reaper. He is just as he appears in movies; a full skeleton underneath a tattered cloak.

The grim reaper swears. "Oh no! This always happens with identical twins".

"What do you mean?" asks the dentist.

"Well... if you must know, your brother was in a critical car accident, and I've come to take him to the underworld. I'm afraid his time on Earth has ended. I'll take my leave now."

The dentist is noticeably upset. He says "Wait! Isn't there some way I can challenge you for my brother's life? After all, YOU made the mistake. Certainly there must be a way I can bargain for his life."

The grim reaper asks "What do you have in mind?"

The dentist thinks. "How about a challenge? If I beat you, you let my brother go free."

The grim reaper laughs. "I will beat you in any challenge. What challenge do you propose?"

The dentist smiles. "I propose we see who has the cleanest teeth. 5 minute of brushing each, then we decide."

"Very well" says the grim reaper, who makes his way to the bathroom.

Once there, he pulls back his tattered cloak to reveal his skull. It's glistening. He takes a toothbrush from the bathroom, loads it with toothpaste, and brushes. After 5 minutes, the shiniest teeth anyone has ever seen glisten and make the room bright. The grim reaper gr

"Wouldn't you rather use real-poo?"

He's been making that joke for 15 years.

While eat French fries my 5 year old daughter she managed to get ketchup under her nose. This of course looked like a perfect toothbrush mustache. I proceed to shout out "Heinz Hitler." My wife and children stared for what I'm sure was an eternity for them, while I laughed for days. The downside is my 3 year old daughter repeated this for several weeks after the incident.

Her aunt was looking for a toothbrush, she walks into the living room.

her: "has anyone seen a Frozen toothbrush?"

me: "yeah, but I let it go"

everyone: "groans"

He said, "Yeah, I brushed them with Daniel (little brother)."

I replied, "Most of us prefer to use a toothbrush. Does a better job."

"I did!"

me grinning at him

"Oh. Oh, mommy!"

He cracked up. I've still got it!

*Names changed to protect the innocent **Yes, I know I'm a mom, but it's still a dad joke. :)

This is the story of a dad joke gone horribly (wonderfully) awry.

Early last week, I posted a status about my morning misadventures, which involved me accidentally putting face moisturizer on my toothbrush. This morning, my father reads this and decides to comment, "That's why I keep prep h in the cupboard." But he doesn't comment on my status. He writes this on my wall, without any context at all for innocent bystanders.

... where this dentist visits me and reminds me that the proper toothbrush strokes involve "spinning right round, right round then you go down"

Fluo Rida

I said to my wife. I wonder if an electric toothbrush would really clean my teeth better than a manual.

She said "I don't know, who's Emanuel?"

I was shocked

Because it's not called a teethbrush.

Because if it was invented anywhere else, it would be called the Teethbrush

-My Dad

Otherwise it'd be called a teethbrush.

Anywhere else and it would be called a teethbrush!

Because if it was invented any where else it would be called a teethbrush.