I felt so bad when I dropped my toothpaste.

I was Crest-fallen.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobskimo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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I tried to visit the house where the guy who invented toothpaste was born.

Sadly, there was no plaque on it.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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What do you call a tree that grows deodorant, toothpaste and tampons?

A toiletry

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HarmonicalMonical
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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Why is it a bad idea to swallow toothpaste?

Because you’ll destroy your stomach cavity!

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pleing1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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A dental implant is a device. Toothpaste can be blue.

So if you have a dental implant, and brush with blue toothpaste, what do you call it?

A Bluetooth device.

Courtesy of my seven-year-old son, who is getting the hang of this pun thing.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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I'm looking to sell my toothpaste collection.

Don't worry, they're all in mint condition.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maurost
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
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My toothpaste fell off the brush and into the sink

I'm crestfallen.

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DadJoker1988
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
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"I dropped the toothpaste." Dave said, Crestfallen.
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
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My friend bought a different toothpaste this time...

It was a nice change of paste

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DragonFireKitty
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
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I switched to sensitive toothpaste, but I don't think it's working

I'm still an asshole

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jrnitc
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
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I dropped my toothpaste..

I was crest fallen

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vocatan
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2019
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What is toothpaste's favorite rapper?

Fluoride-a.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/headintheskye
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
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Toothpaste.

So my dad was going through his normal morning ritual, when he screamed "GODDAMMIT" from the bathroom. He walked out a few minutes later, looking sad.

Me: "What was the yelling about?"

Dad: "I dropped my toothpaste."

Me: "That made you upset?"

Dad: "No, ZTheJerk. Upset doesn't cover it. I'm absolutely crestfallen."

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZTheJerk
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2014
🚨︎ report
Sensodyne is a popular toothpaste for sensitive teeth. I wanted to make a version for non-sensitive teeth.

I called it Nonsenseodyne.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shagminer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2018
🚨︎ report
I asked my friend for a tube of toothpaste. He gave me the smallest tube I’ve ever seen.

Next time, I’ll ask for teethpaste.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/j_jolly_04
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2018
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Have you heard about the new his ans hers toothpaste.

The flavor is "mint to be".

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thesubordinate
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
🚨︎ report
My dentist said that my oral hygiene wasn't up to scratch, so she recommended me a new toothpaste.

Now all I need is a toothbrush.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
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What is the favourite toothpaste of the security guards of a mining company?

Coalgate.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
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Did you hear about the guy who died from eating toothpaste? Crest in peace
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/seymorethrottle
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2018
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toothpaste wear to the club...

What did the toothpaste wear to the club? --A tube top!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mad_Chicken_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2018
🚨︎ report
There's a toothpaste called Fixodent.

So I tried it but it didn't mend my car at all.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
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Why do you get a stomach ache if you swallow toothpaste?

It isnt mint to be swallowed.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/meltedpickless
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a religion based around toothpaste?

Crest-ianity.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobjuita
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm always sure to keep my toothpaste and dental tape separated...

...so as to avoid floss-contamination.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSidewalkSlam
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2016
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the toothpaste scandal?

Apparently some toothpaste companies are on Santa's naughty list. Many are calling it the Coalgate Scandal.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RawRockKills
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2015
🚨︎ report
My wife said our new toothpaste is whitening her teeth but causing her gums to recede...

I told her, "Ya win some, ya lose gums!".

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/denali_jones
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2017
🚨︎ report
My friend dropped his toothpaste

He's really crestfallen about it.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shipless_Captain
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2017
🚨︎ report
Kate accidentally dropped the toothpaste...

...she felt "crestfallen."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wyndcaller
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2017
🚨︎ report
Why did the toothpaste taste so fresh?

Because it was in mint condition.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickromex
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2015
🚨︎ report
Toothpaste

Me: "Oh yeah, I need to put toothpaste on the grocery list."

Dad: "Don't do that! It'll be all messy!"

πŸ‘︎ 152
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EruptingVagina
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2013
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So I asked my dad to put toothpaste on my toothbrush while I helped him do something
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ May 17 2014
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I switched to Sensitive toothpaste but I don’t think it’s working, I’m still an asshole.
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elon_Muskmelon
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2018
🚨︎ report
I dropped my toothpaste this morning.

I was crestfallen.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nyquill81
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2017
🚨︎ report
Just dropped my toothpaste...

I'm crestfallen.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThatTallQueer
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2015
🚨︎ report
"I dropped my toothpaste!"

He said crestfallen.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GermanSailfish
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2016
🚨︎ report

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