Tighten Up Puns

Everyone else should do the same. The world economy is going to crash. If 50 cents isn't worth anything, we're all screwed.

Friend asks " where did you get stung?" Female Golfer replies "between the first and the second hole" Friend says "you ever think about tightening up your stance a little bit"

My son was playing his upright bass and there was a rattle coming from it. I suggested he tighten up the peg on the bottom, which fixed the rattle. He told me they should get rid of those pins, because a kid gets stabbed five or six times a year.

I said they should just stop that kid.

The resulting look confirmed it... I'm a dad.

So dad comes home from work and shows me how his tie has the long part at the front, and the short part at the back for tightening, and he says,

"Now if I roll these parts up to the top, together, and then let go, which part will unroll and hit the bottom first?"

"Um, the shorter part?"

He looks down, rolls up his tie, releases it, then looks up at me.

"It's a tie!"