Do your worst!
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
Pilot on me!!
They’re on standbi
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
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Phoenix Wright (Ace Attorney)
Apollo (Ace Attorney)
Ball (Agar.io)
Akinator (Akinator)
Neff (Altered Beast)
Zeus (Altered Beast)
Centurion (Altered Beast)
Athena (Altered Beast)
Arcanon (Altered Beast)
King Ogre (Altered Beast)
Luke Custer (Altered Beast)
Alundra (Alundra)
Melzas (Alundra)
Zorgia (Alundra)
Ronan (Alundra)
Jess (Alundra)
Crew Member (Among Us)
Impostor (Among Us)
Jester (Among Us)
Red (Angry Birds)
Chuck (Angry Birds)
Bomb (Angry Birds)
Matilda (Angry Birds)
Leonard (Angry Birds)
Pig (Angry Birds)
Mighty Eagle (Angry Birds)
Terance (Angry Birds)
Stella (Angry Birds)
Blue (Angry Birds)
Hatchling (Angry Birds)
Bubbles (Angry Birds)
Hal (Angry Birds)
Foreman (Angry Birds)
Rafael (Angry Birds)
Gale (Angry Birds)
Aguilar (Assassins Creed)
Ezio (Assassins Creed)
Shao Jun (Assassins Creed)
Akira Howard (Astral Chain)
Maximilian Howard (Astral Chain)
Astral Projection (Astral Traveler)
Astro Bot (Astro Bot)
Pamela Ibis (Atelier)
Lent Marslink (Atelier)
Reisalin Stout (Atelier)
Drago (Bakugan)
Balloon Fighter (Balloon Fight)
Oiram Repus (Balloon Fight)
Alice (Balloon Fight)
Marno (Baten Kaitos)
Malpercio (Baten Kaitos)
Malpercio Afterling (Baten Kaitos)
Mayfee (Baten Kaitos)
Maymun (Baten Kaitos)
Mayor of Cebalrai (Baten Kaitos)
Melodia (Baten Kaitos)
Milly (Baten Kaitos)
Misjah (Baten Kaitos)
Mizuti (Baten Kaitos)
Al-Athir (Baten Kaitos)
Al-Khatib (Baten Kaitos)
Al-Rumi (Baten Kaitos)
Almarde (Baten Kaitos)
Anna (Baten Kaitos)
Asakir (Baten Kaitos)
Ayme (Baten Kaitos)
Azdar (Baten Kaitos)
Nasca (Baten Kaitos)
Nubata (Baten Kaitos)
Bajja (Baten Kaitos)
Barnette (Baten Kaitos)
Battuta (Baten Kaitos)
Bein (Baten Kaitos)
Camilla (Baten Kaitos)
Cattranne (Baten Kaitos)
Palolo II (Baten Kaitos)
Palolo III (Baten Kaitos)
Pieda (Baten Kaitos)
Cedr (Baten Kaitos)
Celsica (Baten Kaitos)
Corellia (Baten Kaitos)
Qasim (Baten Kaitos)
Quis (Baten Kaitos)
Daimon (Baten Kaitos)
Dark Brethren (Baten Kaitos)
Donella (Baten Kaitos)
Duke Calbren (Baten Kaitos)
Qutayba (Baten Kaitos)
Quzman (Baten Kaitos)
Rabbih (Baten Kaitos)
Emperor Olgan (Baten Kaitos)
Rambari (Baten Kaitos)
Remblys (Baten Kaitos)
Rodolfo (Baten Kaitos)
Rushd (
... keep reading on reddit ➡
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Bob
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.
Just to clarify, 12345678
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
“BOOM”?!
"That's what they're fighting about."
Because his Visa didn’t work.
A happy Uncle.....
"Beauty, because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder!"
Because the audience only responds in a low ha
I’d never seen him be 4.
Ice-olation.
She's only eleven and says she came up with that by herself. I'm so proud 😭😭😭
"No, it doesn't."
We couldn't afford a dog...
