Coronavirus is now all over the world
But China got it right off the bat.
I got to meet the tallest man in the world last week.
I was disappointed by how he looked down on everyone else.
I once entered the world kleptomaniac championships...
I took gold, silver and bronze.
How do you kiss someone at the end of the world?
Yesterday I purchased a world map and put it on the wall in the kitchen
I gave my wife a dart and said:" Throw this and, wherever it lands, i'll take you there for a holiday."
Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.
Musicians say if the world isn't round
My son might not be the best roofer in the world
There is only one you in the whole world...
Chad asks his friend, "What would happen if all the women in the world disappeared?"
His friend replied, "That would be a pain in the ass."
While the rest of the world were stocking up on toiletpaper, the germans were stocking up on sausages and cheese
They were preparing for a wurst käse scenario
The origami world is ruthless
It's a papercut throat business
Of the world's population
Only 5/3rds truly understand fractions.
I was driving down the interstate when I came across a sign for the world's largest pickle...
I turned at the next exit and found that there was a whole town around it.
Shops, restaurants, even churches devoted to this pickle.
When I finally found the museum holding this legendary pickle, I discovered it was closed.
Dismayed, I went back to the interstate.
I just never saw what the big dill was.
Communists around the world watched gleefully as the Washington riots unfolded.
Karl Marx was right when he wrote Das Capitol.
Just heard the world paper tearing champion has died....
One day the Canadians will take over the world....
Then you'll all be sorry.
What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!
What was the world’s first groundbreaking invention?
What is the coolest lake in the world?
Lake Chad...
slow motion sunglasses in front of explosion.gif
Spider-Man has many incredible powers, including the ability to know how many spiders there are around the world.
He uses his Spider Census.
Did you hear about the dad who has the world's largest candy cane collection?
They're all in mint condition.
What is the least spoken language in the world?
What is the most indifferent country in world history?
The other day I met a whale who insists he’s the most honest mammal in the world.
But I don’t know... I still say there’s something fishy about him.
There are only two types of people in the world:
Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data sets
What’s the fastest liquid in the world?
Milk, it’s pasteurized before you can even see it!
Did you know Australia is the world leader in knowledge about cans?
Yeah apparently its full of can-gurus!
Algebra teachers support change in the world...
Because they love radicals.
(Sorry if this has been done before, this is my first post on this sub)
Ireland has the worlds fastest growing capital city...
I heard they were going to broadcast the World Origami Championships this weekend since so many sports are cancelled
I own the worlds worst thesaurus
Not only is it awful, it's awful.
Feeling ugly? Work at a bee sanctuary and start helping the world! Everyone will think you are beautiful for that
Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
I created the world’s first bulletproof vest using pages from recycled books
The worlds shortest man and worlds tallest man have just robbed a bank.
The police are searching high and low for the culprits.
A good title for a conservative news article a couple days ago when Trump declared “Stop the count!” after Biden started making gains but Trump still could’ve shocked the world would’ve been...
“Trump’s Not Down For the Count”
A German soldier during World War II was embellishing the number of troops he had with him
When the Allies thought it was just him, he claimed there were not 1 but 2. Then he changed his story to 3. Then he said 5, then 8, then 13, and finally 21. When the Allies made it to his position, they discovered that it actually was just him.
Turns out he was a fibber nazi.
What's the angriest country in the world?
Which is the most polite food in the world?
Chuck Norris is the world's greatest mathematician.
He knows the last digit of Pi.
What's the fastest drink in the world?
Milk! It's pastureyes before you seen it!
I have the smartest dog in die world.
I asked him the other day what 1 483 692 × 0 was, and he said nothing.
All of the world eventually got the virus
But China got it right off the bat
What is the least spoken language in the world?
What is the least spoken language in the world?
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