If the end of the world happens, I want it to be hailing taxis.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MerseySideAlt9
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
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Met a beautiful girl over Spring Break in Mexico, but she constantly talked about the end of the world.

She had Acapulco-lips.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
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Did you hear the one about how llamas would cause the end of the world?

It was an alpaca-lypse

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toku-Nation
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
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"You got spat on, you big baby, it's not the end of the world!"

"That's not what I said. I said it was the alpaca lips!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
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How do you kiss someone at the end of the world?

On the apocalypse.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dysmmfz1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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My son cried when he lost his first girlfriend. I told him don't worry its not the end of the world

Just yours.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/diceblue
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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A bloke on a tractor just drove past and shouted β€œthe end of the world is nigh”

I think it was farmer geddon

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
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A guy in a tracker just drive past me yelling "the end of the world is nigh!"

Must be Farmer Geddon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrWulf360
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
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Scientists have determined exactly what will spell the end of the world

D.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/el_gregorio
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
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My end of the world prediction is pretty far away.

I wouldn't bet on it though. Hindsight's 2080.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnnyZillion
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
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My flat-earther friend decided to walk to the end of the world to prove it is flat.

In the end, he came around.

(originally r/jokes)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Plane_Garbage
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
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People talk about the apocalypse like it’s the end of the world.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/freebird003
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2018
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Its the end of the world... v.redd.it/5dg8z49i67p11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jethroong
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2018
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Hearing loss isn't the end of the world...

but a string of words in sign-language is a deaf sentence.

Edit: please don't thank me, just pay it forward.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/someauthor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2017
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After the Hawaii scare, people are making end of the world jokes.

Like there is no tomorrow.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2018
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My dad sent me this text last night after Kolten Wong was picked off to end Game 4 of the World Series

"The picked off Cardinal base runner was in the Wong place at the Wong time."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/acooper1995
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2013
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A bloke on a tractor has just driven past me yelling "the end of the world nigh!"

I think it was Farmer Geddon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
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You know, my flat-earther friend tried to walk to the end of the world to prove its flat.

In the end, he came around.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RiotYeah
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2018
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My flat-earther friend decided to walk to the end of the world to prove it is flat.

In the end, he came around.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
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A bloke on a tractor has just driven passed me shouting, "The end of the world is nigh."

I think it was Farmer Geddon!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hirsty19784
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
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