Elon Musk is now the richest person on the planet
Space X has really taken off this past year
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︎ Jan 07 2021
I suggested a new name for the planet Saturn to an astrophysicist and he seemed to like it
He said it had a nice ring to it.
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︎ Jan 09 2021
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid on the planet?
Its pasteurized before you see it.
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︎ Oct 23 2020
My daughter asked me, "Why are the two planets coming close together?"
"Well, you see... When two planets love each other they can come together in holy astro nomy."
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︎ Dec 22 2020
Canβt wait for the first married woman to walk on the red planet.
Just so I can ask if thereβs wife on Mars.
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︎ Nov 07 2020
Last evening I walked up the hill in the park to see the planets. Stumbled over a lip in the concrete and went down pretty hard. Ripped pants and skinned hands and knees. When I got to the top I couldn't see a thing.
The view was not worth the trip.
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︎ Dec 22 2020
What is the best way to observe the two planets between Jupiter and Neptune?
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︎ Dec 10 2020
Flat-Earthers hate the fact our planet is spherical, whereas Asgard is flat.
It's a Thor subject for them.
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︎ Nov 22 2020
How did the space criminal escape from the prison planet?
He achieved ESCAPE VELOCITY
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︎ Dec 01 2020
Did you know being a minute is the most dangerous job on the planet?
Because every 60 seconds, a minute passes
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︎ Oct 04 2020
Did you hear about the sheep on Yodaβs planet?
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︎ Sep 15 2020
How can you tell that Saturn is the most liked planet in our galaxy?
If you like it, then you have to put a ring on it.
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︎ Oct 20 2020
Saving the planet with humour (Just Eat)
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︎ Jul 12 2020
I telephoned the tennis star Serena Williams for an interview and asked her, βWhatβs your favourite planet?β
Her: Itβs Venus.
Me: Sorry Venus, would you put Serena on the phone?
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︎ Mar 08 2020
Collectively speaking, which are the richest animals on the planet?
Chickens... All of them have at least one buck.
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︎ Mar 29 2020
If monkeys start stealing clothes from everyone it'll be the Rise of the planet of the Dr'apes'
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︎ Apr 07 2020
Some people dont know why the planets orbit around the sun...
They just don't understand the gravity of the situation.
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︎ Dec 20 2019
What did Earth say to the other planets?
Wow you guys have no life
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︎ Jan 04 2019
Tomorrow the planet will be one year older..
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︎ Dec 31 2019
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︎ Dec 07 2018
What do the green aliens from planet express order when theyβre at the bar?
Duclawwwwwwwww
Edit: **Pizza Planet. Coffee had not kicked in yet.
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︎ Dec 11 2019
The planet of Dagobah's favourite music
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︎ May 23 2019
What did the earth say to the other planets?
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︎ May 14 2017
The Mars rovers have to be sterile before being sent to the planet to prevent cross contamination. Just one germ and they must clean the spaceship again...
The whole mission must be scrubbed.
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︎ Jul 03 2019
What do they call the golden ratio on the planet of the apes?
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︎ Sep 09 2019
What is a planet and a black hole at the same time
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︎ Apr 07 2019
The planet that Hitler hates the most is
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︎ Apr 04 2018
Whatβs the difference between the largest plane and the largest planet
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︎ Jun 03 2019
None of the planets in our solar system have shown interest in a relationship with Pluto
He's just too cold and distant.
Bonus punchline.. They just want a platonic friendship
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︎ May 30 2019
Dawn of the Planet of the Snapes (x-post from /r/battleshops)
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︎ Mar 19 2018
Throughout the entire existence of planet Earth
Dinosaurs were known to have the largest mouths before going extinct.
It was truly the epoch of lips before their apocalypse
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︎ Feb 20 2019
Did you guys know that wood is the most poplar building material on the planet?
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︎ Jun 04 2018
If we ever start colonizing other planets, I propose that we rename the Internet to the PlaNet.
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︎ Dec 19 2017
You can travel the whole earth if you planet properly !
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︎ May 27 2017
What do you say to a happy latino father from the planet Pandora?
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︎ Aug 11 2018
What planet do the most dogs live on?
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︎ Aug 14 2017
What did earth say to the other planets?
Wow, you guys have no life.
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︎ Jan 03 2019
What did Earth say to the other planets?
Wow, you guys have no life.
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︎ Jan 16 2018
What did earth say to the other planets
Wow, you guys have no life
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︎ Aug 09 2018
What did Earth say to the other planets?
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︎ May 01 2017
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