I started a petition to swap the position of "a" and "n" in the alphabet.

No one took me seriously when I said jk lmao

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 110
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Ghost_Of_Memes_Past
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 30 2020
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What language do impersonators of the King of Rock n' Roll sing in?

Elvish

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/CognitiveNerd1701
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 22 2020
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What did the broke guy order at the strip clubโ€™s โ€˜legs โ€˜nโ€™ eggsโ€™ show?

A pair of frittatas.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 14
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/JumpinJaccFlash
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 02 2020
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What did the lactose intolerant queen say when the cook served her mac n cheese?

How dairy!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Snugl-v203
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 17 2020
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Obituary for the Pillsbury Dough Boy, Pop N Fresh

The Pillsbury Doughboy, remembered best as "Pop N Serve", and/or "Pop N Fresh", died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy will be buried in this lightly greased coffin.

Dozens of celebrities will turn out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.

The grave site is expected to be piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima will deliver the eulogy and lovingly describe Doughboy as "a man who never knew how much he was kneaded".

Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.. He was considered a very smart cookie, but wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes.

Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop tart.

The funeral will be held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Eyes_and_teeth
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 18 2020
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The word QUINTESSENCE without S and N is just QUITEECE.

It loses its SNโ€™s.

(I donโ€™t know why I made this terrible joke)

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/keychainoi
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 22 2020
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I swear stairs are gonna be my d o w n fall, the way they keep s t a i r i n g at me...
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/gaeboomering
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 06 2020
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Teacher asked โ€œWhat is the formula of water?โ€ Student said โ€œH I J K L M N Oโ€ teacher said โ€œthatโ€™s not the formula of waterโ€

Student said โ€œyou said the formula was H to Oโ€.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 270
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/sarcasticpremed
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 28 2020
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It took scientists 15 tries to create the perfect sleep aid. Attempts A-N had no effect..

But they concluded a Pill-O helped everyone sleep better

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 36
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/dothemagic
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 20 2020
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What human body part is long, hard, bendable, most useful when erect, and contains the letters p,n,e,s,i?

Spine

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 39
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ivytheblindhusky
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 19 2020
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I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...

But others will say nomster

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 15
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/DanGlerrBOY89
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 07 2020
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I heard that the Capโ€™n Crunch guy pranked the Froot Loops guy.

Itโ€™s ok, Toucan play that game.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 19
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/shartnado3
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 15 2020
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I went into work early today and switched as many of the m and n keys as I couldโ€™ve.

Some might call me a monster, others a nomster

Edit: credit: u/Mr_PoodlePants. My b, forgot about this.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 23
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/that_fox_guy
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 25 2019
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The market right now reminds me of that N'SYNC song

#BUYBUYBUY

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Quasar226
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 29 2020
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I have updated the alphabet for festive period. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z

No-el no-L

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 15
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/RikM
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 11 2019
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What do pirates on the Double-Dutchman call their Cap'n?

Skipper of course.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/xhulifactor
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 06 2019
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Iโ€™m afraid to leave the coordinates 90.0000ยฐN, 135.0000ยฐW and 90.0000ยฐS, 45.0000ยฐE.

I was diagnosed with bye-polar disorder

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/samrf1202
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 30 2019
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For all the UK dads : G.N.A.B.

That's bang out of order.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/masakothehumorless
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 19 2019
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Why do I fear the letters N, M, and E?

They're my worst NME.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/repIies_with_puns
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 06 2019
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My friend 3D printed the letters S A T U R D A Y and S U N D A Y, and then threw those at me with maximum force.

I couldn't get up. I was completely weekend by it.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 36
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/sodomicity
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 31 2019
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When your not in the bathroom your American but when your in the bathroom your Euro-pee-n.
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/PM_playz
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 24 2018
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Police are investigating a string of homicides which have occurred over the last two weeks. The victims have identified as Cap'n Crunch, Toucan Sam, Tony the Tiger, and the latest victim, Lucky the Leprechaun.

They are looking for a cereal killer.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/norrisrw
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 12 2019
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The world champion in hide n' seek's name is
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Useless_IT_Guy
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 17 2018
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My son's preschool organized a Halloween hide-n-seek game today for the kids

It was a total witch hunt

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/FactsEyeJustMadeUp
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 31 2018
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My dad, type 2 diabetic, after 11 months of suffering chemo/radiation treatment for pancreatic cancer, 5 months after he was told the surgery failed and it was terminal. Brother reads off the back of a Sweet'N Low packet "...been determined to cause cancer to laboratory animals" Dad snaps back

"Bullshit! I've been using that stuff for years and...(looks at 13" scar across his stomach from whipple procedure to remove tumors, looks back at family for effect) oh... shit..."

Never lost his great attitude towards life, family, and people in general. Always quick with a joke/dad joke until the end.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 21
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Dude0311
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 20 2017
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Why do abcdefghijklmopqrstuvwxy & z hate hanging out with the letter n?

Because n always has to be the center of attention.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 19
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/madazzahatter
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 03 2016
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
It took scientists 15 tries to create the perfect sleep aid. Attempts A-N had no effect..

But a Pill-O helped everyone sleep better.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/dothemagic
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 20 2020
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I switched the M and the N keys on my son's keyboard. You could say I'm a monster, but he says I'm a nomster.
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/FIGHTSONG_
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 25 2019
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Switched the M and N keys on my son's laptop

He called me a nomster

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/CuddlyBear89
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 25 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report

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