The power of my nun-chucks
πŸ‘︎ 88
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theManlyMan8
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad stumbles out of the pub and spies a Nun waiting for a bus over the road..

Somehow he manages to weave through traffic and lands a punch so hard the nun hits the deck spitting teeth.

"HAH!!" shouts Dad.. "NOT SO TOUGH AFTER-ALL EH, BATMAN??!!!!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FuckinWimp87
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the priest say to the nun at the salad bar?

Lettuce pray.

*very proud of this joke, wrote it yeas ago and it still makes me laugh every time. 😎

πŸ‘︎ 189
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/raindawg75
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
So, 3 nuns die in a car crash and end up before the gates of St Peter....

St Peter says to the nuns "Given you are nuns and have devoted your life to good works you only need to answer a single question each to enter Heaven."

He looks to the first nun and asks "where did the first woman live?"

The first nun quickly replied "the garden of Eden".

St Peter nods approval and looks to the second nun "what was the name of the first woman?"

The second nun pauses for a second and then replies "Eve."

"Well done!" Says St Peter before turning to the third nun and saying "As the Mother Superior you should be able to answer this; what did Eve say to Adam when she first saw him?"

The Mother Superior furrows her brow and says "oh, that's a hard one".

"Correct!" Says St Peter. "You may enter."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/atheistmil
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A nun is having a bath when she hears a knock of the door....

She says "who is it?"

"It's the blind man" comes the response.

Ok, thinks the nun. "Come in then".

In walks the man; "nice tits, now where do you want this blind?"

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/atheistmil
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the nun say as she sat down at the sewing machine?

This could be habit forming.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the streaker nun?

She did it out of habit.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jbeatty77
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
🚨︎ report
The non nun

How do you know if a nun is a cross dresser ? She has weird habits....

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ransuru
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
A nun is teaching her students about the circle of life

"there are either predators or prey in the circle of life" explained the nun. "whatever an animal eats, it is called that animal's prey. for instance, rabbits eat lettuce - thus lettuce is rabbit prey."

"Sister, what is sunlight then?" asked a quizzical child.

smiling, the nun put her hands together and said, "lettuce prey".

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dr-Vader
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about the Nun who ran away from the nunnery?

She's a roaming Catholic

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DeadlyViper2528
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the joke about the wandering nun?

She was a roman catholic.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to be obsessed with the idea of playing football with random items of clothing. However, after stealing from a nun's wardrobe to feed my addiction, I soon saw the error of my ways.

It was a difficult habit to kick.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/T-posing_Jesus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about that show with the nun who ruled over heaven?

I want to quiz you on it.

First question: What was it called?

A: The Heir to Heaven B: Hi, I’m Up High C: Girls Rule the Afterlife

>!Whatever you answered, it was wrong. It’s Nun of the Above.!<

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KawaiiFoxPlays
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I just watched The Nun

It was nunsense

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TerrificFrogg
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
🚨︎ report
So 3 nuns die and go to Heaven and are at the pearly gates...

After dying in a fatal car crash, 3 nuns end up at the pearly gates and the saint there tells them "Since you're so pure of heart and free of sin you can all go into the Kingdom of Heaven if you answer 3 questions. I'm going to ask you one question each."

The saint turns to the first nun and asks: "Who were the first two humans God created?"

She says: "Adam and Eve!"

She gets into Heaven.

The saint turns to the second nun and asks: "What was the one thing Adam and Eve were told not to do in the Garden of Eden?"

She says: "They weren't allowed to eat the fruit of knowledge!"

She gets into Heaven.

The saint turns to the last nun - the mother superior - and says "Since you're the mother superior my last question is going to be difficult to answer, but if you answer correctly you can get into Heaven. So my question for you is: What was the first thing Eve said to Adam when they realized they were naked?"

Now she has to think a little and as she thinks she's close to conceding, uttering "Gee, that's a hard one..."

The saint lets her right into Heaven.

The End.

πŸ‘︎ 287
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thora-suan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2018
🚨︎ report
I went to dinner with a nun the other night and I asked why she had to wear her outfit everywhere

She said it’s an old habit

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ypg-235
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the trade name of a robot nun?

Sistermatic

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/air28uk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Nun the wiser
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Redking2002
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Ever heard the wandering nun joke?

There's always a Roamin Catholic.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LeoTheSpiderboy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
🚨︎ report
The Nun..
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DrSSSK
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a nun on the run?

Virgin Mobile

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rozes72
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2018
🚨︎ report
My dad's amazing driving advice to my sister: "I can replace any mailbox you hit. If you collide with a cop car, I've got a good attorney. If you run over a nun, God will forgive you. But if you hit my truck, you better leave the f***ing country."
πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iwillhavethat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the nun love all her feline friends?

They were all practicing cat-licks

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/candyman337
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the nun who got into trouble for drinking communion wine from her convent's medieval goblet?

No, but it serves her rite.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Udzu
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Why were the nun's worn clothes colorfast?

Because old habits dye hard.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thisisenfield
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2018
🚨︎ report
Guess how many want to watch THE NUN with me

Yeah, NUN

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/suparna131
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the blind nun fall down the well?

She couldn't see that well!

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thisissami
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2017
🚨︎ report
Why did the nun bite her fingernails?

It was a habit

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/d4hm3r
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2016
🚨︎ report
Most nuns today no longer where the stereotypical religious garb, but they still dress in simple clothing...

out of habit.

^(edit: wear*)

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/seekunrustlement
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2013
🚨︎ report
A new nun got dressed for the day and went to mass.

As she is entering, she trips over. The Mother Superior rushes over to help "It seems you got into a bad habit this morning" Says Mother Superior.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kubrick_Fan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2015
🚨︎ report
What do you call a nun playing the drums in colorado....

a conundrum

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBeerded
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2014
🚨︎ report
What does the nun say?

Nun of your business

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pseudonympholepsy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the joke about the wandering nun?

She was a roman catholic.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Is a nun in heaven called "nun of the above"?
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jadelancer8
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the nun become addicted to sewing?

It was habit forming

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CloseQtrsWombat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2017
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.