The Internship Puns

"Study abroad? I'd study a broad."

My dad pulled one on my brother when he was going to an interview for an internship with UPS (delivery service).

"What does the UPS guy say when he drops a package?"

"What?"

"Oops"

Laughed too hard at first because I thought it was some sort of anti-joke. But nope, just a lame pun. Stay classy, pops.

Last night my family was on speaker phone with my grandpa, and told him about my internship this summer with a large potato chip company.

Grandpa: "Well that is great news, and if you ever decide to live out a life of religious vocation, you can make potato chips for the whole monastery!"

Me: "Yeah, I suppose I could do that"

Grandpa: "You know what they would call you then, don't ya? They call that the chip-monk"

I just started an internship at a newspaper in May and I haven't met many people, yet. The other day this woman talked to me and at the end of it she says, "My name is Joanne, by the way." And without hesitation, I reply, "That's an interesting last name." Needless to say, she didn't understand and I just looked completely stupid. I will not make friends fast here.

I started my internship today at an environmental consulting firm. My boss was introducing me to a colleague.

Boss: "This is Ellie-okay, he's the summer intern and he's studying civil engineering."

Colleague: "I can tell, he's very polite."

All the guys around his cubicle groaned while the three of us let out a big laugh. I think I'm gonna like working here.

Been working an unpaid internship for the last three months. Tonight is the company's party for their 5th anniversary in business.

Dad: "Are they gonna cover your drinks."

Me: "I sure hope so. If it's not open bar, I'll be pissed."

Dad: "No you won't, you'll be sober."

Shoulda seen that one coming...

So at my internship I have to go through these massive cabinets and sort out hundreds of drills, endmills, boring bars etc. While I was finishing a tray of tap drills my boss comes up and says "Are you having any fun yet?" Without a beat I say "Honestly I'm about ready to tap out..." I could hear his groan above the noise of the machines in the shop.

After having completed his internship on bowel diseases, he was talking about the primary function of the colon. When he was finished, I helpfully added that the colon has the added purpose of indicating that you were about to start a list. "For example, 'colon', item one, item two, item three..."

The groan/glare he gave me was quite a reward!