It’s Valentine’s Day today. 3 years ago today I asked my best friend, my childhood sweetheart and the most beautiful girl in the world to marry me
All three of them said no
The start of a beautiful French ship
The wedding was so beautiful.
Even the cake was in tiers.
There was a woman named Franklina. She was the most beautiful woman in the world.
She visited the famous Prince of the East: Prince Merling.
As soon as she arrived, Prince Merling dropped to one knee and kissed her hand.
"Franklina! No one is as beautiful as you!"
The woman looked down at him and said, "Prince Merling, everyone calls me Frankly. Please call me that."
"Yes, my dear. Whatever you want. I wish to marry you! What would you like, anything in the world I will give it to you."
She paused, completely taken aback by the caring nature of the prince.
"Well the one thing I'd like is a massive area of water. I want it to be built by man. I want it to keep all this water together so it can be drunk by millions of people."
The Prince's face turned from excitement to disappointment.
“What’s wrong? Don’t you think this is a good idea?” she asked.
He stood slowly to his feet. Finally, with tears in his eyes he told her softly:
"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a dam."
You know, it's seriously impressive that Beethoven wrote such beautiful and moving music, when all the time he was
The new year photos came out beautiful.
They had a very good resolution!
I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up.
I heard a beautiful song this morning called "Look Both Ways (Before Crossing the Street)"
It was pretty sound advice
In the Store with my wife I saw a box of beer on offer for half price so I said can I have them? she said no, budget is tight, I said well you just bought lots of makeup, she replied, that is to make me look beautiful, I replied..
That is what the beer was for.
its natural beauty was unpresidented; never forget how beautiful the mountains are - you don’t want to take them for granite.
My city just built the most beautiful and largest school for the blind in the world.
You have to feel it to believe it
Have you heard of that new band the Beautiful Moles?
They’re pretty underground.
I met a beautiful woman in the museum in Paris
I just witnessed a beautiful chicken gracefully crossing the road.
It was poultry in motion at its finest.
After Jack planted the magic beans, his mother hated how her beautiful cottage was now overshadowed by a huge, green, tendril-covered trunk. However, over time, she eventually came to love the mystical plant.
This is known as “stalk-home syndrome”
A man who had just died was delivered to the mortuary wearing a beautiful black suit.
The mortician asked the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out the man looks good in the black suit he’s already wearing. The widow however said she thought her husband always looked his best in blue, and she would really like him in a blue suit. She then hands the mortician a blank cheque and says “I don’t care how much it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.” The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe. Remarkably, the suit fit him perfectly. She says to the mortician, “whatever this costs I’m very satisfied, you did an excellent job and I’m incredibly grateful. How much did you spend?” To her astonishment the mortician presents her with her blank cheque, and he says “there’s no charge.” Shocked she replies “no really, I feel like i must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit.” “Honestly ma’am”, the mortician says, “it costs nothing, you see a diseased gentleman about your husbands size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday. He was wearing an attractive blue suit. So I asked his wife if she minded if her husband went to the grave wearing black. She had said it made no difference so long as he looked nice. So from that point on it was really just a matter of switching the heads.”
My wife just gave birth to our beautiful baby girl! I did the best I could to relax her, but she doesn’t seem too pleased with me…
I don’t know what I said wrong… all I said was “thank you for your cervix!” while giving her a salute.
I went to the art museum and saw a beautiful installation made entirely out of steaks
It was a rare medium well done.
Have you hear about the nice guy who makes the beautiful looking pancakes?
Man walks into a bar and the bowl of peanuts says “you’re beautiful”
Bartender says “don’t mind them, they’re complimentary”.
I always thought those coloring books with the beautiful symmetrical shapes originated in South Africa, not Asia.
I guess it’s a case of the Mandala effect.
The most beautiful series puns I've seen in a while ❤️ still lol'ing
My son said the neighborhood pumpkin display was really beautiful but I told him he was wrong.
My school’s valedictorian died. The funeral was beautiful with confetti in the air.
He passed with flying colors.
The four seasons were arguing about which of them was the best. Winter boasts, "Well, you can build snowmen and the snow is so beautiful. And Christmas!! Everyone loves Christmas!"
Spring laughs, "Well sure, but come springtime, everything is so fresh and new! All the new flowers, it can't get much better than that!"
Summer rays, "Yes, but I am undoubtedly the overall best season! Girls in bikinis, ice cream, nice weather. You can't top that. What about you autumn, what do you have to offer?"
Autumn leaves
An beautiful woman orders a turkey sandwich at a deli, with pickles on the side. The guy behind the counter looks at her and says, "You like big pickles?" and winks. As he slides her a pastrami sandwich she looks at him, smiles, licks her lips and says
Me: "How much is the rent for this beautiful apartment?"
"Sir!! This is a liquor store "
My girlfriend lives in another city. Last night she texted me saying "I wish you were here; the rains are beautiful".
I replied with "So...you want me to c'monsoon?"
She hasn't replied yet.
Guess she stormed out.
Feeling ugly? Work at a bee sanctuary and start helping the world! Everyone will think you are beautiful for that
Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
The Grand Canyon isn’t just beautiful…
Met a beautiful girl over Spring Break in Mexico, but she constantly talked about the end of the world.
The stars are beautiful tonight
Women are like the ocean. Vast,deep, and beautiful...
And once a month... It’s shark week.
I don't know why the beautiful attendant at Ikea reported me to the police.
All I asked was "How much for one night stand ?"
When I was in high school in Belleville, ON, a young local artist spray-painted a beautiful picture on a large concrete wall under a bridge by the Moira river. He didn't get permission to do this, however, and the city eventually painted over it.
Watching his picture go like that must've been pretty demuralizing.
As we were at the top of the Eiffel Tower watching a beautiful sunset, I got down on one knee and said, “Honey?”
She gasped audibly and said, “Yeah?”
I said, “Help! My knee is made of magnets!”
My buddy used to paint these beautiful beach scapes when he lived on the coast, but since he’s moved away, he won’t paint any more.
I guess he’s now an ex-cape-artist...
The wedding was so beautiful
Even the cake was in tiers
I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up.
The wedding was so beautiful.
Even the cake was in tiers.
The wedding was so beautiful
Even the cake was in tiers.
The wedding was so beautiful
Even the cake was in tiers
The wedding was so beautiful...
...even the cake was in tiers.
The wedding was beautiful. EVERYONE cried.
Even the cake was in tiers.
I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up.
Ten years ago today, I asked my childhood sweetheart, my best friend, and the most beautiful woman in the world to marry me.
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