Unlike the bee, which is in his hand.
Because she's a Southern Belle
The movie later earned a 'No Belle' prize
... eye brows.
...because you shouldn't put metric prefixes on Troy units.
Rests in the “oy” of the beholder.
We just couldn't make up.
The South Africa beauty pageant had 10 finalists: 9 black girls, and 1 white girl: Anna.
While Anna was beautiful in her own right, she paled in comparison to the other contestants.
You could say the decision was pretty spa-radic
Oh wait these are wasps
... then smoke is always in your eye.
The No Belle prize
She was pretty in tents!
There was a spread of meats and salads for dinner, and above the table was a light that was flickering - giving off a strobe effect.
To which the person behind me casually remarks under his breath; “Hmm, don’t mind me a bit of seizure salad”.
I thought it was great. No one else seemed to appreciate it.
Winner of the No-Belle prize.
Each time we drive by the beauty school I attempt a dad joke. Here are some of my favorites.
I wonder how often they use highlighters in their coursework.
Do you think they have extension courses?
Students are dying to get out of there.
Does every teacher allow makeup work?
You know, they're doing the opposite of filing for unemployment.
I wonder how often they change the locks in there?
Do you think cutting class is a requirement?
Does each student have a permanent record?
Do my puns make you want to curl up and dye?
My four-year-old son ran excitedly to the door to greet her. When she opened it, her appearance was startling. She looked like a goth. Her eyes were surrounded with jet-black make-up, with dramatic extra lashes drawn to the sides.
My son let out a shriek and rushed back into my arms for a hug. "What's on Mommy's eyes?" he asked tearfully.
I replied, "Ma scare ya?"
Discussing electrical current and he introduced us to Kirchhoff's current law.
"This is Kirchhoff's current law. I don't know what his previous law was, but this is the current one."
Me: sit and wait for me here. Dad: wait is that a tanning booth or a Tardis?!
.. I lost my atm card, and when i changed into my jeans i found it in my pocket and also $10 in my other pocket.. I said "stop looking i found it" and said "i found my card in my jeans and also $10... She said "see it pays to check your pockets".. I honestly didn't think she had it in her
It's a pretty tired joke.
"I was blown away"
Walked into the kitchen in my flat today whilst my flatmates were in the middle of a discussion about food.
Flatmate 1 - "Did you know you could make pizza out of pitta bread?"
Flatmate 2 - "Yeah, it's actually quite delicious!"
Me - "Really? Doesn't sound like much of a meal. Sounds kinda pitta-ful."
Surprisingly it resulted in a laugh, and it was only like, 40% pity.
Me: So i heard you shifted house? Friends dad: Yeah, it was a moving experience.
We both laughed in hysterics for about 5 mins.
Q: How do Hong Kongers cozy up? A: They dim some.
Stepdad: What's another name for the Winter Olympics?
Stepdad: White people Olympics.
An ad for deodorant said "what do you do to reveal your underarms?"
Any my dad instantly says "raise my arm..."