They made olive oil spread.
He winked at me and said, "I'm off duty in ten minutes - meet me in the car park."
It was instant.
My balls have never felt so free.
Because without them, boobs would be pointless.
You're all fan-elastic!
Mailman: You're welcome, female woman.
The zoo told me it was bread in captivity.
They only have a pair of trunks.
-my grandfather, just 5 minutes ago.
The correct answer was blood vessels.
An assassin
.
Edit: thank you guys so much for the rewards! I was told this joke from my 9 year old sister, she was well chuffed to see all the votes and people thinking she was funny
I just wanted to thank everyone here. My mom has been in the hospital with the virus and being able to send her jokes from here has made her laugh (we both really like puns!) so I just wanted to thank y’all for the fun jokes you post. I know it doesn’t seem like much but it has been very nice to be able to share them with her!
Edit: thank you so much for the awards and well wishes! I 100% did not expect this to blow up like it did and I’m so glad for y’all’s support!!
I'll show him. Just you wait.
Edit: Goodness, that blew up. My first awards, too!
I want to send out individual replies to thank everyone who gave me an award. I might do it later.
I don't think I can ever repay you.
I just don't know how I could ever repay them!
I've been sharing the Dad Jokes from here that pop up in my suggestion line. My Dad and I work together, so we're both off for the School break. Half the time he rolls his eyes and the other half he chuckles. So, thank you, Dad Jokers, for making my Dad chuckle in whatever this strange year has been!
I said as I was taking away his dental implant.
TikTok
That's no skin off of my nose!
He did unspeakable things.
Thank you for the awards. You made my day 😃
Dad: Hi thankful, I’m dad.
I said "you got perfect eyesight."
Worm: Thanks for the "worm" welcome haha...
God: * creates birds *.
No one told me life was gonna be this way.
At the end of the class, his teacher returned the loaf and told him that he had gotten an A.
The student said: “Thanks, that’s just what I kneaded.”
This isn't a dad joke. This is a thank you to everyone on this subreddit. 6 weeks ago the love of my life broke things off with me due to factors attributed to my mental health (which i didn't tell her about because she is struggling with uni and i didn't want her to worry) and I've been having an extremely difficult time coming to terms with it. She's falling for another guy while I've been self destructing to the point where she never wants to talk to me again. But i found this subreddit today, the jokes are so stupid and funny that for the first time since before the breakup, I've laughed and it was genuine. Thank you so much for your stupid jokes. You've saved my life as far as I'm concerned. I still have a long way to to, but this subreddit is definitely going to get me through it. Thank you 💖
For supporting me. My arms, for always being by my side. And my fingers, I could always count on them.
"I have no son"
"Thanks for supporting me"
I'm sure this has been done but it got a chuckle out of me
Edit wow, I wasn't expecting an award. Thank you kind stranger!
It really means a lot.
...I said I didn't even know he could play cricket.
Edit: Americans; replace 'cricket' with '10 Pin Bowling 🎳 '
Thank you for the awards
In his sleevies
-Thanks to Stuff to blow your mind podcast
I replied, "What else would I be? The doctor?"
Thank god! Nothing happened because it was a soft drink.
To present it
I’m hard of hearing now
Edit: Thank you kind strangers for the awards
Edit 2: Tis a HARD joke to beat
They take nothing for granite.
Without them boobs would be pointless.
