Someone told me their pre-tax income.

It was gross.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spinn3
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
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Just found out how I’ll be paying my income tax in my new job as an undertaker.

It’ll be pay as you urn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/littleboypunder
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2018
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A penny saved is NOT a penny earned

A penny saved, is actually about 1.25 pennies, once you account for Income Tax.

[my dad works for the Canadian tax department (IRS) and he used to always say that when I was a kid. He thought he was very funny. I'm now starting to see the wisdom in that statement.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/patchy_22
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
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In the Zelda games people often keep money in plant pots

They are probably trying to take advantage of the urned income tax credit

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jagger2096
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2016
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Village Idiot Puns

Way back when I was a kid, for my school's Renaissance Faire-esque fundraiser, I went around wearing a sign that read "Vilage Idiot". When guests asked why, I'd reply, "I wasn't always the village idiot...

  • β€œI used to be a tailor... but it didn't quite suit me... It was only a so-so job.”
  • β€œI once was a lumberjack... but I couldn't hack it... so they gave me the axe.”
  • β€œI was a fisherman too... I just couldn't live off my net income.”
  • β€œI thought about being a witch for a spell.”
  • β€œI tried being a chef... but I just didn't have enough thyme for it.”
  • β€œI was a musician once... but I didn't accomplish anything noteworthy.”
  • β€œFor awhile I was a doctor... but I didn't have the patience to keep it up.”
  • β€œI once was a accountant... but I lost interest. The job was too taxing.”
  • β€œI tried moonlighting as a nun... but I confess, they didn't like my altar ego... or my bad habits.”
  • β€œMore recently, I was a baker... but I couldn't make enough dough at it... Guess I wasn't bred for the job.”
  • β€œHeck, I was even king for a day... but I didn't have any crowning achievements.”

...And so now, here I am: village idiot, just like my father was. Ah... my father, he was the best village idiot we ever had. It's hard living in his shadow sometimes. You see, my father was a complete idiot! ...I'm just a half-wit.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ason42
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2016
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