What multi-talented dinosaur can act and rap?

A raptor

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WantedDadorAlive
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
🚨︎ report
The guy from dirty jobs is so talented!

In addition to his handiwork he has a really cool hidden talent. It’s almost like a superpower. With just the simplest gesture he can turn anything scalding hot. We call it the Mike Rowe wave.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DrLionbear
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
🚨︎ report
I've been told I could be a talented trumpet player but...

I'm not one to toot my own horn.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NThruThe0utdoor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
🚨︎ report
My pet rooster is a very talented artist

But he can only draw hentai

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NotPlato
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I may not be, that good looking, or athletic, or funny, or talented, or smart.
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/792262
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My grandfather was a very talented blacksmith

He could do all swords of things

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DoctorPootis
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
🚨︎ report
A very talented dog

Once upon a time there was a man who had a very talented dog. It was able to program computers, and also able to play the piano.

Then a series of events happened which led to the punchline, which is: don't worry, his Bach is worse than his byte.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cman_yall
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2018
🚨︎ report
To all of us, Prince was a very talented musician, composer, songwriter and performer.

But to the recording studios, he was more than that. He was a symbol.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Myntrith
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2016
🚨︎ report
My barber was kicked of the talent show

He didn’t make the cut

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/T20J
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Singers might open doors with their talents, but thieves can do it off key.
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ForestValkyrie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
🚨︎ report
I've invented a new talent contest where you have to dress up as a sailor and eat spinach as fast as possible....

I'll call it Popeyedol.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
🚨︎ report
True story, just happened, proud of myself: Dog starts barking furiously out of nowhere. Come to the door to see she's startled a pair of guys from a roofing company who've come to fix a hole where squirrels are getting in.

"Sorry about her. Her specialty is also roofing."

Blank stares. My talents are so wasted without kids.

πŸ‘︎ 16k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jewyouevenlift
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Wife says I won’t get 5 upvotes for this, but... Did you hear the one about the dog and the tree?

They had a long conversation about bark.

Edit: Y'all are nuts! We're somewhere north of 10k upvotes now, so I'll direct any remaining attention to Boot Camp for New Dads.

πŸ‘︎ 25k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/amalgamxtc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
🚨︎ report
I have this incredible talent where I can identify what's inside a wrapped present.

It's a gift.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My weird talent is always being able to tell what’s in a wrapped present.

It’s a gift.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zenpod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm trying to organize a hide-and-seek tournament,

but good players are really hard to find.

πŸ‘︎ 254
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jgfum
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
🚨︎ report
I thought that maybe I had a talent for music, so I tried to learn...

But I can't read sheet.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tydram
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Testing talent show equipment
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The1WithNumbers
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m at my school talent show and this guy said...

β€œbefore I start, I would like to check if my mic is working..” β€œif your name is Michael, please stand up”

then a couple of guys stand up and he goes

β€œthat concludes my mike check”

(I saw this tweet and just had to share it!) Click here for credit

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm thinking of entering a talent show. I have two ideas for my act. Either a Blues Traveler cover band, or an impression of Richard Nixon.

I'm hoping to win, by Hook or by Crook.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/epitomizer1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked my dad if he had any secret talents.

He replied, β€œIf I did, how the hell would I know about them?”

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lankyjay16
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
A priest in a big church in Paris has a job interview with a new bell ringer. The priest asks β€œwhy should I hire you?” The applicant responded β€œI have a special talent!”

β€œOh, and what is this special talent?” Asked the priest.

The applicant walked up to the bells and slammed his face into the bell.

At first the priest was taken aback, but the sound from the bells was heavenly!

β€œYou’re hired!!” He exclaimed.

The applicant jumped around in excitement and slipped, falling off the side of the belfry to the ground below.

The priest ran downstairs and outside to the sidewalk where the bell ringer lay dead.

A bystander asked β€œwho is he?”

The priest responded β€œI don’t know his name, but his face sure rings a bell!”

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
🚨︎ report
How did Samuel win the work talent show at the mobile phone factory?

Sam sung

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vodkafountain
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
The cake shows up to the talent show and takes center stage. When the judge asks what is his talent. He replies...

"Icing"

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IronHusker88
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Just happened a few minutes ago. Whilst wrapping an easel for our daughter my better half said "how am I going to wrap this?" I replied "Easely". Not even a smile :( wasted talent here.
πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dannyp433
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2018
🚨︎ report
One of my talents is finding it easy to fasten the strap that holds the saddle to a horse...

It's a cinch!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
The electric company I work for has a talent show at the annual company party.

One of the techs did a stand up comedy routine. The humor wasn’t very funny, it mostly went for shock value.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pikkl_rikk
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I have this weird talent where I can control sheep just by listening to them.

I herd it with my own ears.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
🚨︎ report
"German talent show contestants puts string of sausages up her bum" .. this performance was the wurst
πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cowenpa
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Made with RAW talent *insert laughter*
πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Smithereenn
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Talent Knight
πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MRR2012
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I paid five cents for a dad joke, but it turned out to be an empty, derivative imitation, overly commercialized and lacking any real soul or talent.

Now I want my Nickelback.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Konamicoder
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between Vanilla Ice and Eminem?

Talent

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CognitiveNerd1701
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
My special talent
πŸ‘︎ 186
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ky_1652
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the scarecrow win the talent show?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nvnvyrtylb
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a very capable teddy bear?

Talented.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jasonwhite1976
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
🚨︎ report
My grandma used to pretend she was weaving rugs when she had to think. When she died, she passed the talent to my children.

It's a cherished air-loom in my family.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
The shy farmer declined the talent audition...

He's a grower, not a shower.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sirnicster
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the day Bobby Fischer and Garry Kasparov were sighted at a hotel lobby, bragging about their talents? They were...

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/norrisrw
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
🚨︎ report
My hidden talents are hidden so well that even I can't find them.
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ashutosh024
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2018
🚨︎ report
I can always tell a person when they are lying, just by looking at them.

I can also tell when they are standing or sitting too.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Not to brag, but I have this weird talent in guessing what is inside a wrapped present.

It’s a gift.

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Not to brag, but I have this weird talent in guessing what’s inside a wrapped present.

You can say.... it’s a gift.

πŸ‘︎ 159
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Not to brag, but I have this incredible talent in predicting what’s inside a wrapped present.

It’s a gift.

πŸ‘︎ 988
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Not to brag, but I have this weird talent in guessing what's inside a wrapped present.

It's a gift.

πŸ‘︎ 79
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I have this weird talent where I can identify what’s inside a wrapped present.

It’s a gift.

πŸ‘︎ 550
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_snipeypants
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
🚨︎ report
I have this weird talent where I can identify what’s inside a wrapped present.

It’s a gift.

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.