What multi-talented dinosaur can act and rap?
The guy from dirty jobs is so talented!
In addition to his handiwork he has a really cool hidden talent. It’s almost like a superpower. With just the simplest gesture he can turn anything scalding hot. We call it the Mike Rowe wave.
I've been told I could be a talented trumpet player but...
I'm not one to toot my own horn.
My pet rooster is a very talented artist
But he can only draw hentai
I may not be, that good looking, or athletic, or funny, or talented, or smart.
My grandfather was a very talented blacksmith
He could do all swords of things
A very talented dog
Once upon a time there was a man who had a very talented dog. It was able to program computers, and also able to play the piano.
Then a series of events happened which led to the punchline, which is: don't worry, his Bach is worse than his byte.
To all of us, Prince was a very talented musician, composer, songwriter and performer.
But to the recording studios, he was more than that. He was a symbol.
My barber was kicked of the talent show
Singers might open doors with their talents, but thieves can do it off key.
I've invented a new talent contest where you have to dress up as a sailor and eat spinach as fast as possible....
True story, just happened, proud of myself: Dog starts barking furiously out of nowhere. Come to the door to see she's startled a pair of guys from a roofing company who've come to fix a hole where squirrels are getting in.
"Sorry about her. Her specialty is also roofing."
Blank stares. My talents are so wasted without kids.
Wife says I won’t get 5 upvotes for this, but... Did you hear the one about the dog and the tree?
They had a long conversation about bark.
Edit: Y'all are nuts! We're somewhere north of 10k upvotes now, so I'll direct any remaining attention to Boot Camp for New Dads.
I have this incredible talent where I can identify what's inside a wrapped present.
My weird talent is always being able to tell what’s in a wrapped present.
I'm trying to organize a hide-and-seek tournament,
but good players are really hard to find.
I thought that maybe I had a talent for music, so I tried to learn...
Testing talent show equipment
I’m at my school talent show and this guy said...
“before I start, I would like to check if my mic is working..”
“if your name is Michael, please stand up”
then a couple of guys stand up
and he goes
“that concludes my mike check”
(I saw this tweet and just had to share it!)
Click here for credit
I'm thinking of entering a talent show. I have two ideas for my act. Either a Blues Traveler cover band, or an impression of Richard Nixon.
I'm hoping to win, by Hook or by Crook.
I asked my dad if he had any secret talents.
He replied, “If I did, how the hell would I know about them?”
A priest in a big church in Paris has a job interview with a new bell ringer. The priest asks “why should I hire you?” The applicant responded “I have a special talent!”
“Oh, and what is this special talent?” Asked the priest.
The applicant walked up to the bells and slammed his face into the bell.
At first the priest was taken aback, but the sound from the bells was heavenly!
“You’re hired!!” He exclaimed.
The applicant jumped around in excitement and slipped, falling off the side of the belfry to the ground below.
The priest ran downstairs and outside to the sidewalk where the bell ringer lay dead.
A bystander asked “who is he?”
The priest responded “I don’t know his name, but his face sure rings a bell!”
How did Samuel win the work talent show at the mobile phone factory?
The cake shows up to the talent show and takes center stage. When the judge asks what is his talent. He replies...
Just happened a few minutes ago. Whilst wrapping an easel for our daughter my better half said "how am I going to wrap this?" I replied "Easely". Not even a smile :( wasted talent here.
One of my talents is finding it easy to fasten the strap that holds the saddle to a horse...
The electric company I work for has a talent show at the annual company party.
One of the techs did a stand up comedy routine. The humor wasn’t very funny, it mostly went for shock value.
I have this weird talent where I can control sheep just by listening to them.
I herd it with my own ears.
"German talent show contestants puts string of sausages up her bum" .. this performance was the wurst
Made with RAW talent *insert laughter*
I paid five cents for a dad joke, but it turned out to be an empty, derivative imitation, overly commercialized and lacking any real soul or talent.
Now I want my Nickelback.
What's the difference between Vanilla Ice and Eminem?
Why did the scarecrow win the talent show?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
What do you call a very capable teddy bear?
My grandma used to pretend she was weaving rugs when she had to think. When she died, she passed the talent to my children.
It's a cherished air-loom in my family.
The shy farmer declined the talent audition...
He's a grower, not a shower.
Did you hear about the day Bobby Fischer and Garry Kasparov were sighted at a hotel lobby, bragging about their talents? They were...
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
My hidden talents are hidden so well that even I can't find them.
I can always tell a person when they are lying, just by looking at them.
I can also tell when they are standing or sitting too.
Not to brag, but I have this weird talent in guessing what is inside a wrapped present.
Not to brag, but I have this weird talent in guessing what’s inside a wrapped present.
You can say.... it’s a gift.
Not to brag, but I have this incredible talent in predicting what’s inside a wrapped present.
Not to brag, but I have this weird talent in guessing what's inside a wrapped present.
I have this weird talent where I can identify what’s inside a wrapped present.
I have this weird talent where I can identify what’s inside a wrapped present.
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