I guess you could say I have In-pasta Syndrome...
It’s called “S Cargo”.
Not sure if he pulled it off but I know it took a lot of balls to do it.
He was running a little behind.
(I believe this to be original; but I wasn't willing to risk searching for the key terms required to determine if someone else came up with it... apologies if I'm repeating a long ago joke)
Because i am running to the finnish line.
Surface Tension
He's light-years ahead of the competition now.
The cop said, “Sir, that’s not how you play the race card.”
They didnt Nguyen a single game
I guess I better step up my game.
Because it was two tired.
The stock itself will give you enough of a roller coaster ride.
A few years ago, was playing a card game with my frisbee team. We were competing in a frisbee tournament for spring break, and we had discs lying all around the Airbnb we were sleeping in. After playing the first few hands, I realized I didn't know what to do with my old cards.
I asked my teammate where I should put my used up cards. They pointed to some cards lying in a frisbee.
It was a disc card, discard pile.
He is a con-tender contender.
He was declared Victor.
It was a grizzly competition between polar opposites but, in the end, one was way more koalafied.
Call it Curl Runnings
Owlways remember that Toucan play this game.
"......gneiss guys finish last."
The steaks will be higher than ever
I hear short legs run in their family.
The king and queen of clubs
It's called Pair a' Shooters
Hal-E-Berry.
It was the closest race ever.
The entire time, they were Nick and Nick.
Rogue Won.
... called the PU.
Was never successful.
Everyone thought it stank.
I told her I’ve done it a few times before but I don’t know if I’m ready to compete in a tournament.
I replied, “I don’t think we can do that.”
My son asked, “Why not?”
“Because it’s paper view...”
I was 16 and at a rowing regatta I was competing in. It was middle of the day and very hot everyone was under these massive gazebo/tent structures with big guide wires and these huge rusty steel tent pegs sledgehammered into the dirt.
Anyways I was running late for my race and my crew were yelling at me so I started running. The shortest way was through the spectator area on a big downhill towards the water so at full pace I went that way.
About halfway the top of my barefoot trips on the rusted top of one of these steel pegs and I fall face first and tumble through the dirt with my foot and ankle split open.
People run from all directions, medical staff etc someone holds a towel over my head for shade and I see my dad. He's looking down at me but it's hard to see through the dirt in my eyes and people around.
He asks "bloody hell mate, what happened?".
In agony I manage a "I kicked a tent peg".
He knelt down beside me, looked me in the eye and said "how far did it go?"
But if Botswana compete with me, that's fine.
Hello, I'm in Vet school and just can't seem to compete with some of my fellow students' surgery team names. As students, we work together to do spays and neuters for shelter animals. We like to use funny pun names.
Ideas that have already been taken: "Ovarian Cysters" "Dogtors at Your Cervix" "Eggs Ovary-Z"
There was a village that had four competing pie shops, each inhabiting their own corner of the town. One of these shops was named "The Circle".
The Circle wanted to gain an edge on the other shops, they wanted to stand out. They realized they could transport more pies in their boxes if they made the pies square instead of circular, so they would stack better. The only place in the village to have these oddly-shaped pies is at The Circle.
So, for the area of The Circle, the pie are squared.
I recently posted a picture of a peaceful looking, meditating waldo with a title that reads "Plot twist. Waldo finds himself". My uncle replied with the awesome pun: "Waldo is my "om" boy!"
I need a pun to compete! Thanks for any help.
Context: There is an upcoming 250 piece puzzle-making competition at work where teams compete to be the fastest puzzle-solvers. It is a corporate activity. I'm writing the invitation to be distributed and I want to get people participating. Help!
I said, "Well, I'm pretty good, but I don't think I'm ready to compete just yet."
Heard this one on the radio during the Sunday Puzzle segment on NPR's Weekend America yesterday. A grandfatherly contestant on the program (named Gérard) asked this riddle of NYTimes puzzlemaster and Yale enigmatologist Will Shortz:
"Two cats are competing to see who would win in a race swimming across the English Channel. The cats' names are One-Two-Three Cat and Un-Deux-Trois Cat. Who won?"
Shortz was stumped. The contestant answered the riddle saying:
"The English cat, One-Two-Three Cat won because Un-Deux-Trois-Quatre-Cinq."
Alex Rodriguez asked an Alaskan Husky if he had competed in any sled races. The Husky replied "I did A-Rod".
He forgot he'd signed a naan-compete.
During the pre-game, when showing the teams about to compete:
>Dad: Oh man, those guys are gonna be slip-slidin' all over the place!
>Me: Why? Is it raining?
>Dad: No, its Greece.
goddammit
