A list of puns related to "Surfacing"
The crew got the Mercedes-Bends
Customers report the bakery is giving them the crepes.
Because Curiosity killed the cat.
I was amidship man.
SPOLIER ALERT!
I guess I'll give it the old collage try.
It has a lot of pan-creases.
Sorry.
It was his own asphalt
So, Bill and Melinda Gates are getting a divorce She gets the house and He gets the Windows!
According to Melinda Gates, Bill just didn't Excel at his marriage. Apparently he had no Power Points while arguing, but he always had to have the last Word And now that he no longer had Access to her heart, the Outlook was not looking good for them. They couldnβt work together as Teams On the Surface they were a perfect couple, but deep down there was hardly any Kinect. He kept everything hidden like an X-Box and she never found it re- Azuring. The main reason she divorced Bill Gates because he was in Office365 days.
They seemed so happy..on the Surface.
When I walked in the place was great, everything was perfect apart from the kitchen. There were gas mains but no cooker! Work surfaces and water pipes, but no sink; empty plugs and spaces for where the fridge and freezer should sit.
When I bought the house I was told it was fully furnished! Furious, I called up intending to give whomever answered an earful.
I was told that everything should be arriving individually, and the house is being used as an experiment for completely autonomous, self thinking kitchen appliances!
Before I could reply there was a knock on the door. I opened it and a stove strolled in, tilted forward in a bow, slid past me and set itself into its spot! Even attaching itself to the gas mains!
Later that day another knock at the door signalled the arrival of the fridge and freezer.(who had travelled together) They bowed and sat themselves perfectly in place in my new kitchen. I was beaming!
That evening I was explaining to my wife how the appliances had arrived, when came another knock at the door. βThis technology is going to change the world, I swear it!β I told her. βCan you answer the door? Iβve been on my feet all dayβ
βYeah,β she replied, less enthusiastic than I,βbut itβll get to a point when humans are completely inferior.β She explained βWhen these machines develop such sentience, whatβs stopping them from overthrowing us?β βTreating us as slaves, like we to them now?β She asked, distraught at theses ideas.
Knock knock
βItβs best not to worry about these things,β I said in an attempt to alleviate her fears.
βThere are people- professionals developing contingencies for any possible future robot uprising!β βThat future youβre frightened about is purely science fiction right now, and the way our collective knowledge and application of technology has advanced, (Even in the past 50 years!) our own scientists and engineers will be able to crush any worries we may have when the time comes.β I explained.
She sighed, agreeing somewhat reluctantly. βDonβt think on it now, have some faith!β I told her.
Knock knock
βNow let that sink in!β
They wouldβve been lunatics.
was an evil genius.
Itβs a fanless device.
Because the devil is in the details
...but it seems counterproductive
Using octoPi
But there are no leads.
a counter fit bill?
So technically, Insightβs purpose is to give us insight about whatβs not IN SIGHT
He couldnβt get any up-boats
All the files were deleted.
...counter productive.
I told him not to worry- he's only scratched the surface
Yes it was a sinkhole de mayo.
Instead I swam up to the surface.
I guess you could say I have Surface tension.
Turns out I had barely scratched the Surface.
In Google Docs.
...has a kurwature.
It's getting a little over the top.
NASA faked the state of Nevada.
Seems like i have a really bad case of earontable bowel syndrome
I immediately left my Office and tried explaining myself. Sure, on the Surface I do it often, but I think it Works. It's not just about Word play, either; my Outlook on life helps me Excel. She and I have such a great Team Foundation, I Azure you. I wanted to Exchange my thoughts with her, so we could work with OneDrive. I looked her right in the Windows of her soul, to Access the deepest parts of her heart, and told her I loved her. Completely on Edge, I awaited her answer...
PowerPoint of the story is: does anyone know of a good divorce lawyer?
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualisticbird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.
The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.
If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into, and buried.
The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:
"Freeze a jolly good fellow." "Freeze a jolly good fellow."
Turns out nobody wants to touch unfamiliar Surfaces during the pandemic.
All right reddit, I have to get this off my chest. Iβm absolutely SICK of this pandemic. Everywhere I go, Iβm constantly being PESTERED to wipe down surfaces and sanitize my hands. Itβs a complete infestation of my personal space!
Letβs face it, our ailing democratic rights have taken a huge hit. And this is a symptom of a larger problem. Namely, our ruling class seems totally impaired! We are being totally ill-informed by people who claim they know everything about this disease.
For example, this whole situation has been plagued with problems since the beginning! Itβs a scourge on whatβs left of humanity.
So I say, itβs time to break out of the shackles and seize our lives back! We need to combat this virus that flew around the world with everything weβve got. Because this lock down is bugging the hell out of me! This is a cold call to do your part. The health of our society depends on it!
Happy quarantine, everyone!
Surface Tension
My job involves me giving presentations to large groups of teenagers. Today, I was telling them about different workshops we have on offer, including African drumming and DJ workshops.
So I said - 'I'd love to tell you a bit more about the DJ workshops, but I'd barely scratch the surface.'
Ever seen 200 teenagers groan and roll their eyes? Glorious :D
...and I used the cheap stuff, but it looked real, so I thought maybe it'd fool her.
No such luck. My wife is so "counter-intuitive" due to her high "counter-intelligence" that it didn't matter how "counter-productive" I'd been, she took one look at it and just knew. So instead of taking it for "granite," she threw a "counter-fit."
(Proud dad. All the jokes in this subreddit sound like ones I would make...)
On a plane!
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