My next door neighbor and I are very good friends, so we decided to share our water supply, because..

..we got along well.

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2021
🚨︎ report
What school supply holds the most power?

A ruler.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MythicalMagnum
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife texted me from the grocery store to ask about our pasta supply.

I replied "we're penneless."

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2021
🚨︎ report
While shopping for school supplies I came across a pen that can write underwater.

It can write other words as well.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gherkinstein
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Years ago, I used to supply Filofaxes to the mafia

I was involved in very organized crime

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/st_jimmy_02
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
My boss asked me why I went to the gym to get office supplies

I told him that's where I get toner

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Which school supply is king of the classroom?

A ruler.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
🚨︎ report
Grandma Jokes anyone? Hit me with your best dad jokes for my Grandma who loves dumb jokes and needs some laughs

I hope this type of post is allowed!

I am going to visit my grandma this Tuesday to say goodbye to her. She is 87 and very ill, she is mentally still with it but in a lot of pain. She sounds at peace, I think she is just doing her best to hang on til we can get to her.

My grandma loves stupid jokes, dad jokes, puns, all that stuff. I’d love to share some laughs with her when I say goodbye. Hit me with your favorite and dumbest dad jokes and I will share the best ones with her.

Thank you Reddit fam!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/atrashx
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2021
🚨︎ report
This just in: 2 robbers just hijacked a truck delivering a supply of viagra.

Everyone be on the lookout for 2 hardened criminals.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife just yelled that I should fall in a pit or hole sunk into the earth to reach a supply of water and die.

I know she means well.

πŸ‘︎ 188
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BusyPooping
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Remember when Albert Einstein lost blood supply to his brain?

It was a real stroke of genius

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackoMabreda
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a person who can't stop stealing kitchen supplies?

A whisk taker

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I was working my 9-5 at the paint supply warehouse, I just asked my boss for a raise

He handed me a ladder and asked if that was good enough

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/superto3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What works faster than a calculator?

A calcu-now.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yellowlemonie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

Supplies!

πŸ‘︎ 801
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
In coal country there was a highly-regarded regional dish made from the community’s table scraps.

You can’t make it legally anymore though. A judge ruled that all the people supplying food were contributing to the delicacy of a miner.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jester57
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
🚨︎ report
I knew a man that got injured in a office supplies store

I don't know what happened to him all I know is that he got comPENsation.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mRmyster76
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do vampires buy their art supplies?

Pencilvania

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/batfloke
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
We had a party for our office supplies today. We even invited the invisible ink.

It didn't show up.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_Westerfield
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Art supplies are a sound financial investment

That’s why it’s called β€œart appreciation”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HaysStays
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
We may not be able to seat you inside just now but we can supply some terrible puns.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the king of office supplies?

The ruler, of course.

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dracolytch
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
My Brother used to Steal from Kitchen Supply Stores..

He was always the whisk-taker in the family.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AhSparaGus
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Pretend you are on a raft in the middle of the ocean surrounded by sharks. You only have a one day supply of water and a harpoon. What do you do?

Stop pretending.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/youthfulcomrade
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
A man was sentenced to 20 years in prison when he inadvertently contaminated the food supply of 30 specimens of America’s national bird.

His actions were highly ill-eagle

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/linknt01
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
How often does the Japanese supermarket restock their milk supply?

Dairy

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/McSteer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
🚨︎ report
a friend of mine dared me to steal some kitchen supplies

but that just wasn't a whisk I was willing to take

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zayyded
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Our city’s main reservoir leaked and now water supply is dependent on a network of bores

Which to be honest I think is a pretty mean way to refer to our city council, however dull they may be.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lukeurmyson
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to circus school but forgot to bring supplies.

I left my three-ring binder at home.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Interactions are low, Hope is high, here's a suprise butt supply.
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/samsw21
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Currently in the hospital after the birth of our third child. Wife talking to lactation consultant about supply vs demand.

I chime in, "Sounds like MILKroeconomics 101."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshSamBob
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the thief who stole a supply truck of disinfectant?

He made a clean getaway.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OmegaLiquidX
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
At one time, I had a strongly desired goal of owning a plumbing supply company...

I guess it was just a pipe dream.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother was stressing that someone in our house could contract the coronavirus by going out for supplies.

My dad responded: "We could all be getting viruses from our computers right now."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DesertWolf45
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What should you say when you pop out of a janitor's closet?

Supplies!

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
🚨︎ report
My son was crying today because he spilled his scrambled eggs all over his art supplies.

He was having an eggs and stencils crisis.

πŸ‘︎ 131
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lorinar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to the camping supply store and was going to buy a tent but the pegs were on the top shelf...

The stakes were too high.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Some people aren't shaking hands because of the Coronavirus.

I'm not shaking hands because everyone is out of toilet paper.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vole182
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Saw Humpty Dumpty shopping for Halloween supplies.

He's going to have a great fall.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/electric_leper
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
🚨︎ report
My neighbour and I became good friends, so we decided to share our water supply.

We got a long well.

πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
My next door neighbor and I are good friends, so we decided to share our water supply.

We got a long well.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
🚨︎ report
*What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the utility cupboard?

SUPPLIES!

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RodimusMajor84
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
🚨︎ report
My neighbor and I are good friends. So we thought we share our water supply.

We got a long well.

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

Supplies....

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/noodlesvonsoup
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the janitor say

"What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?" "Supplies!"

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TurnoverOver
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
🚨︎ report
My neighbor and I are good friends. So we thought we share our water supply.

We got a long well.

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
🚨︎ report

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