Stringing Puns

Bartender says, "we don't serve strings here."

The string goes outside, ties himself in a knot, frays his hair.

The string goes back inside. The bartender serves him a drink and says, "hey wait a minute, weren't you that string from earlier?"

And the string says, "I'm a frayed knot!"

Well, then I’d say you were a lyre.

They should know violins is never the answer..

I shit you knot

That day, another Fiddle Catastrophe was prevented.

"Look at what kids your age make in China!"

My coworker and I tried to apprehend them but they were just too phosphorus…

He was arrested for ear poll-lute-tion.

My dog was delighted.

Its a two part series that's quite revealing.

They climb up a couple of bar stools and have a seat. One of them says to the bartender, "Hey, give me and my partner here a beer would you?"

The bartender replied, "Sorry, we don't serve strings here."

So they climb down off of the bar stools and slither across the floor and out of the bar.

One says to the other,"Lets go down the street. I know of a better bar than this one anyways."

"Now wait a minute, said the other string.This is clearly discrimination!"

"Well what do you intend to do about it?"said the other string?

"I'm going to go back in with a disguise and I'll get that damn beer." So he ties himself in a knot, frazzles up one end of himself,goes back into the bar,slithers across the floor and climbs up the bar stool. He says to the bartender, "I'd like a beer please."

The bartender says," Wait a minute . Aren't you the same piece of string that was in here a while ago?"

So the string said, "No.I'm a frayed knot.

guess there was too much tension between them

“I play a little guitar!"

I shit you knot

"Give me back my guitar!"

It was finally the long-awaited end of police violins.

A violin has strings

A fiddle has strangs

They always tie.

It provides the beat to every-ting!

Then he walks into a table

Then he walks into a table leg

Then he walks into wood

Then he walks into wood cells

Then he walks into wood DNA

Then he walks into a molecule

Then he walks into a atom

Then he walks into a qwark

Then he walks into a cosmic string

Then he walks into a multiverse

Then he walks into a universe

Then he walks into a galactic supercluster

Then he walks into a galaxy

Then he walks into a stellar system

Then he walks into a planet

Then he walks into a continent

Then he walks into a country

Then he walks into a region

Then he walks into a city

Then he walks into a street

Then he walks into a bar

ANDTHECYCLECONTINUES ANDTHECYCLECONTINUES ANDTHECYCLECONTINUES ANDTHECYCLECONTINUES ANDTHECYCLECONTINUES ANDTHECYCLECONTINUES ANDTHECYCLECONTINUES

No strings attached.

If only i had known about her history of violins.

Before he sits down the bartender yells “Hey! We don’t serve pieces of string like you!”

The piece of string goes outside, ties himself in a bow, and rolls around on the ground for a bit. Then he gets up, goes back into the bar, and sits down.

The bartender says “Aren’t you that piece of string?” The string replies “No. I’m a frayed knot.”

I shit you knot

it was a total Stihl

I shit you knot.

No strings attached.

Frankly, I think he's a lyre.

But there were strings attached.

"Ugh, I baroque a string whilst trilling to fix my piano. Well, I guess i legato get a new one"

Let's see a show of hands..

Knowing your way around the G string.

Even when you're born, there is a string attached.

It was a tie

The cops finally nailed him.

Knotty

String: "I'm a frayed knot."

That day, another Fiddle Catastrophe was prevented.

i shit you knot!

I shit you knot.

The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve strings here!"

They go outside and one of the strings messes up his hair and ties himself up. He walks back inside and the bartender says, "Aren't you one of those strings I just got rid of?"

The string says, "I'm a frayed knot!"

So the string goes outside and waits for a while. He goes back in and sets at the bar and orders a beer. The bartender says “we don’t serve string here. So, frustrated the string goes back outside and sits n the curb. Boom, he gets run over and tumbles and starts to come apart.
He goes back into the same bar and orders a beer. The bartender looks closely at him and says “hey aren’t you that piece of string that was just in here?” The string looks him in the eye and says “nope, I’m a frayed knot!”