It’s medium rare
7 days will make him week.
The Air Force General says to the others, "I am proud to lead some of the bravest Airmen in the world. Watch this." He looks out the window and sees a passing Airman. "Hey, Airman!" he shouts, "see that shed? Inside is a nest of rattlesnakes. I want you to kill one for me!"
"Yes, sir!" the Airman shouts and runs off to get a long pole. Using the pole, he beats a rattlesnake to death and pulls it out. "See?" the Air Force General says, "bravery."
"Hah, that's nothing!" says the Marine General, "watch this. Hey, Marine!" he yells out the window at a passing Marine, "see that shed? Inside is a nest of rattlesnakes. Kill 2 of them for me!"
"Aye, sir!" yells the Marine and he charges in, grabbing 2 rattlesnakes and strangling them to death with his bare hands. "See?" the Marine General says, "bravery."
"Hah, that's nothing!" says the Army General, "watch this. Hey, Soldier!" he yells out the window at a passing Soldier, "see that shed? Inside is a nest of rattlesnakes. Kill 3 of them for me!"
"Fuck no, sir! I'm not doing that shit!" yells the Soldier. "See?" the Army General says, "bravery."
But all he got was a swift strike
A one hit wonder
Turkey turkey turkey
Aspareagus
They want shorter flowers and more honey.
That way, you start the year off on the right foot.
My wife sent a picture to the family WhatsApp of him watching Luke duel Vader captioned ‘Learning the art of the light saber!’ to which I responded:
‘By the end of that fight he will probably be twice as handy as Luke…’
They’re calling it Señor Skip Day
Because it leaves you feeling thor.
Because there is NOEL.
Merry Christmas everyone.
There will be a shortage of A. C. in D. C.
The tracking report keeps saying “oh, it’s halfway there”
I said, “No, I didn’t even know he could.”
"Spare me."
Oompa Loompas are already short staffed.
Finally my high school karate courses have paid off.
Because there's so many Poles!
My stance keeps changing
Ehhh, strike that. I'll spare you from it
Cereal killers.
Picket.
They call it the I-roll
Because it’s always striking!
My mom's fiance has so many different chairs in his house. She bought him a new chair for Christmas. Yet, somehow, the fact that he has a million chairs didn't strike either of them as an obvious thing. I'm gonna draw a comic poking fun at them about it about it and I need some chair puns for it.
Can y'all help out?
They were on strike
"So house life?"
They can only strike while the iron is hot.
Because he was losing control of his faculties.
So there was a man who considered himself the greatest fighter in the world. Every time he got in a fight growing up, he'd win, and it would never even be close. Eventually he ran out of people in town to fight, and he decided that he'd travel the world, looking for all the best fighters, and beat them in combat.
He travels to Japan, China, India, Russia, France, Ireland, going all about the world, fighting everyone who thinks they're the best fighters in the world- and beats them easily. There's no real sense of competition, he just defeats every challenger in humiliating fashion.
But travelling the world looking for the best fighters takes a lot of time, and there's always another person thinking that they're the best fighter in the world, so he issues a challenge to anyone in the world who thinks that they're the best fighter to come to his house and fight.
The day arrives, and HUNDREDS of people have shown up. All of the best practitioners of all the world's martial arts have shown up. There's a group of judoka from Japan, Israeli Krav Maga artists stretching out on one side of the room, the Muay Thai artists are doing light striking to warm up- everyone seems represented here. The guy who started all this says "OK, there are a lot of you here, and the only way we'll be able to finish this today is if we group you all up by discipline, you all form a line, and I'll beat each of you in turn."
So he starts with the wrestlers, who line up one at a time. One at a time they come at him, and none of them last longer than a minute before having their shoulders pinned to the ground. Not only do they all get beaten, but it seems like this guy is actually winning his fights faster as the day goes on! Some of the fighters from the other disciplines watch this display, and they start leaving.
The guy looks at his watch, and realizes that three hours have gone by in fighting the wrestlers. So he gestures to the Muay Thai artists and says "I'll now fight you, but I'll fight you four at a time!" The Muay Thai fighters figure they can knock this guy out quickly, then settle the honor of who the best fighter is amongst themselves, so they line up four by four, rush in, and in a flurry of elbows and knees, they all end up knocked out on the ground. Four by four the Muay Thai fighters rush in, only for this guy to remain standing after all of them. This is intimidating to the other fighters who are watching, and more people start heading home.
H
... keep reading on reddit ➡"Here's the 2-2 to Tutu."
The difference was striking.
The guys in the meat department at Giant Eagle chased me out before I could bag it.
“It’s about high time,” commented the union representative.
Last night during a pretty aggressive thunderstorm, a huge lightening strike, along with an incredibly deafening thunder clap happened right next to our house. It was about 11pm and Susan was snuggled up to her Mother next to me in our bed. After a few seconds of Lori saying something soothing to our 9 year old she was holding, saying something like 'its ok, its just a little storm, we are safe...', I call out to our older 12 year old in her room just next door.
"Sarah!?" I called to her, in my normal tone to get her attention.
"Yeah? What?" She responded.
"Was that you?" I called back.
After a long pause Sarah replied "No Dad. That was thunder!"
I could not stop laughing.
Unless they are ground
It just doesn't strike a chord with me.
I've since been banned from the swimming club.
Make sure to raise your left leg, that way you'll start the year off on ther right foot.
That way you will start off the new year on the right foot
