What are the 2 most prominent gangs in Florida?

The Bloodclots and the Cripples

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dday47
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2020
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A man named Nicholas Justin retires early from his job at a prominent magazine

At the retirement party, his boss says, "You might be getting to the next stage in your life early, but you'll always be Justin, the Nick of Time."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/command_block_guy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
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I was selected by a prominent judge to dress funny and make strange faces in public. I am not mad, I am justice appointed.
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
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My friend asked me if I had any albums of prominent female singers from the 60's

I said yes, but I wouldn't Cher.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/riptide747
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
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A prominent Dad on my facebook feed posted today, thought of you all.


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πŸ‘€︎ u/figure_d_it_out
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2014
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My wife and I were walking into the supermarket when we saw cherries prominently displayed near the entrance.

Looking at the price, I said to her, "Damn, they're cherribly expensive!".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dudecancode
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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I tried to buy a Mortal Kombat soundtrack.

But all I could find were Finnish Hymms.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honeygar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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I was passing by my son's bedroom and was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up…

Then, I saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow.

It was addressed, 'Dad'.

With the worst premonition, I opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands:

"Dear, Dad.

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.

I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I've been finding real passion with Stacy.

She is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing's, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am.

But it's not only the passion, Dad.

She's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy.

She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.

We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.

We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacy can get better.

She sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your many grandchildren.

Love, your son, Joshua.

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true.

I'm over at Jason's house.

I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table.

Call when it is safe for me to come home!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2017
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Mickey Mouse is in a divorce court.

The judge asked, "So you want to divorce your wife because she's crazy?"

Mickey went, "I think what you heard me say was that she's fucking Goofy!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gt0t
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2018
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A brief history of time pieces

During the early days of Catholicism there was a huge uproar about the pocket watches that the elite class started carrying to tell time.

The conservative religious leadership at the time determined it to be heresy.

They rounded up anyone wearing watches made by the prominent inventors and burned them and their heretical time pieces.

They were considered some of the most beautiful watches ever made by man but now it is believed that none exist. Although, many historians and collectors still look for them.

Some people just want a watch the world burned.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/solomonsaysgo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2018
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At brunch today...

My girlfriend was going to order the White Beet Soup, and I asked if it came with a side of M&Ms.

Her: "why would it come with M&Ms?"

Me: "well I thought Eminem would be prominently featured in something filled with white beats."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mtocz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2015
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GF moved into a new apartment.

Turns out that there's trains that are pretty prominent at night. Was sitting at work when I get the text informing me:

Her: "So, turns out that there's trains at night around here.."

Me: "Well, guess you'll just have to try sleeping, you got work in the morning."

10 min later

Her: "Another one.. Wooo!"

Me: "Choo* trains go choo."

Her: "... I'm going to bed."

I thought it was clever.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2015
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My friend's dad's Facebook posts are golden

*Khakis: What you need to start the car in Boston.

*Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

*Doctors tell us there are over seven million people who are overweight. These, of course, are only round figures.

*What do you call a cow who gives no milk? ...A milk dud (or an udder failure)

*There was a terrible fight reported in our local shopping center. It just so happened that a news reporter from one of our local stations was there to record the entire episode. It was an altercation between a prominent dentist and a manicurist. Their disagreement escalated to the point that they wound up fighting each other tooth and nail.

*The little old woman who lived in a shoe wasn't the sole owner - there were strings attached.

*I recently saw a theatrical performance on puns... turned out, it was just a play on words!

*Have you ever tried watching a magician with an anger management problem? Every time he gets mad, he pulls his hare out!

*If you lose your hearing, is it ear replaceable? -Just wondering

*Harvard has long been known for its championship Rowing team – until this year. They had their first ever indecisive rower... he couldn’t choose either oar.

*I found an excellent seamstress who is so enthusiastic about her work that she's happy to make a pair of pants for you …or at least sew its seams.

*No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

*I bought a new weed whacker yesterday & it is cutting-hedge technology!

*Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.

*I read about a recent fire at the circus. The heat was in tents.

*I was saddened to hear that our local bakery was going out of business. They said they had decided to stop making donuts after they got tired of the hole thing.

*I decided that becoming a vegetarian was a missed steak.

*Why do seagulls fly over the sea? …Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!!

*I wonder if their manure spreader is the only equipment John Deere won't stand behind.

*I saw a very emotional wedding recently... even the cake was in tiers!

*I'm glad I'm not a cross-eyed teacher... otherwise I'd find it too difficult to control my pupils!

*What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window? ...Snow and Tell

*I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

*The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.

*What kind of math do Snowy Owls like? …Owlgebra


... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gwildcat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2014
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