What do a world-renowned scientist and a grazing cow have in common?

They are both out-standing in their fields.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/baronvb1123
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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I am world renowned for my etchings!

I make quite the impression.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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Mary Pill Poppins Pharmaceutical just created a miracle drug that can cure any human of any disease. It's effectiveness is renowned while it's side effects are surprisingly minimal: thick layer of skin develops on the lips while rendering them dry, cracked and quite odorous.

Patients effected by this claim it's super callused fragile lips that smell like halitosis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ramzert
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
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After a world-renowned athlete lost an important match, his wife suggested that in the future he wear a pair of her panties in his shoes for good luck to boost his confidence.

He’s been undie-feeted ever since.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beeeeen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
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After years of trying I have decided to give up on my life long dream of becoming a world renowned spaghetti chef. It’s time to move on and stop living in ...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/darlosworld
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
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Which American state is renowned for its writing equipment?

Pencilvania.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
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My friend is a county-renowned dermatologist...

He often makes rash decisions.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
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I became a world renowned expert on cold weather.

And it only took 2 degrees to do it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Domthehuman1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2017
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What do you get if you have a world renown architect design your basement?

...An international best cellar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tabdelineated
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2014
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The Viking Tale of Bran Rudolph the Red.

There are many tales that have come from Viking lore but few are as lost as the tale of Bran Rudolph the Red.

It was said that he was blessed by God's with a keen ability to predict the weather. Due to this magical gift, he became a renowned seaman. Feared by his enemies, and respected by his bannermen. After years of successful raids and conquests, one of his shield maidens finally plucked up the courage and asked him how he does it.

"Bran, how do you always predict the weather? How have you always, managed to avoid every storm the sea throws at you". All his men laughed and looked up at their leader. Before he could respond, his right-hand man stood up and with a smile on his face and retorted, " It's simple. Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Birdman27
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
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There's a little known country in central Europe that is ruled by a monarchy...

Not many people are aware of its existence but I assure that it is there all the same. The king of this little land faces a lot of difficulty. He wants to make his kingdom into a sovereign nation but unfortunately they do not have the infrastructure, population, or economy to do so. In fact, this small state is only known for a single export. Thanks to their proximity to some of the finest gold and other metals in the world but total lack of an ability to process those metals on a mass scale, they have been left with only one option. You know the saying; when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Make lemonade they did. This tiny territory is renowned for creating the highest quality watches in the world. No expense is spared and their elite group of craftsmen train for their entire lives from childhood to produce these terrific timepieces. Men of great wealth and taste have been known to trade entire fortunes for just a single one of these watches; that is how valuable they are.

The king knows this and he knows that only a small portion of his populace can ever hope to become one of the respected elite, let alone hold one of their masterpieces in their own hands. Being a very just and fair man, the king ordered the most senior watchmaker in the land to create something the likes of which had never been seen. A watch of such great craftsmanship so as to be above monetary value. The man labored long and hard for many nights to produce the king's watch. When he at last presented the completed work to his lord - in front of the entire nation, no less - he was met with thunderous applause and a warm embrace. He had done it! The king then made a shocking announcement.

"This masterpiece belongs to my people!"

When the roaring of the crowd died down he continued.

"This watch shall be a symbol of my love for all of you. Though I rule over you with supreme authority I do not wish a single one of you to feel that you do not have a voice in the ruling of this nation. From this day on let anyone who doubts my decisions or questions my judgment wear this watch and stand as my equal to voice their concerns. Should even a single one of you think me unfair or wrong in any matter then simply come to my castle and I will present you this token of good faith."

The king made good on his word and from that day on all citizens knew they held the right to challenge their king's rulings. Over time the watch became a symbol of fairness throughout the land. Anyone who wore it

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2016
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Old joke that has stuck with me

So there was this hitman named Arti, renown for his very affordable prices. One day, he gets 3 contracts. He follows them around, keeping track of their daily habits, and finds that each of them go to the the grocery store after work at the same time.

Planning to get all 3 at once, he makes him move and like always, was extremely successful.

The next day, the headlines read, "Arti Chokes 3 for a dollar at Safeway"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bluefootedpig
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2015
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Did you hear that they've been having trouble selling Beatles albums in some Scandinavian countries?

Apparently, when asked if they'd buy any of the renowned group's albums, a Swede wouldn't. But, a Norwegian would.

EDITED for geographical nomenclature.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JudithLight
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2015
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A short story

John Deavensmit was not having a good time. After an incident involving a coffee spill, he'd been sued for $50 million, and somehow the jury had ruled against him. There was no way he could pay that much money; he'd go bankrupt.

Naturally, he filed for an appeal, but the winner of the case was already beginning to hound him for money, hoping to get at least something before the judgement was overturned. John was nearly at his wit's end before he found an unusual package in his mailbox.

It was from a couple of his friends, who all went on to law school when John left to create a startup. They'd all been very successful, and had gone on to be justices at various levels, from courts in a small county in Wisconsin all the way to the Supreme Court. When he opened it up, he was surprised to see an ink drawing of a thick wooden stick. It was signed by his friends, and accompanied by a note:

> Hey John, > > We're sorry to hear about your loss in court last month. We met up at a judge conference in the Davison Center, and we thought that we'd do something special for you. We met up in the Grapefruit Room and all worked together to draw this. We hope you enjoy it! > > Your friends

Now, John had been to D.C. a few times, and knew about the Davison Centre. It was renowned for its very offbeat architecture. The Grapefruit Room was one of the weirdest: it had been constructed by taking a world-record grapefruit, carving out the flesh, and preserving the rind. The result was a walk-in fruit, and it always smelled of citrus.

It took John a while to work out the significance of the gift, but when he realized it, he was overjoyed. His good friends had seen fit to grant him a stave judge-men penned in a peel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scshunt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2012
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I've still got it!

My wife received a renowned mixer for Christmas. Today, she asked me to put some things in the kitchen. My response,

"Sure. Looks like after all this time you still need a...kitchen aide."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lithedreamer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2016
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Most memorable dadjoke- My friend's dad a few years ago

It was my friend's 15th birthday and for his party his dad drove a bunch of his mates to the local aquatic centre. On the way there he started asking us what we'd been doing with our time and we told him about the band we'd just formed.

We went through each of our band members and what each of us played. Finally got to our last member (who was renowned for being very clumsy and a bit of a class clown) and told him that he played bass. His reply?

"Huh, I thought he'd be playing the fool"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/garythegyarados
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2013
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