My barber was kicked of the talent show

He didn’t make the cut

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/T20J
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 29 2021
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Singers might open doors with their talents, but thieves can do it off key.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ForestValkyrie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 31 2021
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I've invented a new talent contest where you have to dress up as a sailor and eat spinach as fast as possible....

I'll call it Popeyedol.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 01 2021
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I have this incredible talent where I can identify what's inside a wrapped present.

It's a gift.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 22 2020
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My weird talent is always being able to tell what’s in a wrapped present.

It’s a gift.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zenpod
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 20 2020
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I thought that maybe I had a talent for music, so I tried to learn...

But I can't read sheet.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Tydram
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 14 2020
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Testing talent show equipment
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/The1WithNumbers
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 24 2020
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I’m at my school talent show and this guy said...

β€œbefore I start, I would like to check if my mic is working..” β€œif your name is Michael, please stand up”

then a couple of guys stand up and he goes

β€œthat concludes my mike check”

(I saw this tweet and just had to share it!) Click here for credit

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/3ThatUserNameIsTaken
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 30 2020
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I'm thinking of entering a talent show. I have two ideas for my act. Either a Blues Traveler cover band, or an impression of Richard Nixon.

I'm hoping to win, by Hook or by Crook.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/epitomizer1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 29 2020
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I asked my dad if he had any secret talents.

He replied, β€œIf I did, how the hell would I know about them?”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 45
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lankyjay16
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 07 2020
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A priest in a big church in Paris has a job interview with a new bell ringer. The priest asks β€œwhy should I hire you?” The applicant responded β€œI have a special talent!”

β€œOh, and what is this special talent?” Asked the priest.

The applicant walked up to the bells and slammed his face into the bell.

At first the priest was taken aback, but the sound from the bells was heavenly!

β€œYou’re hired!!” He exclaimed.

The applicant jumped around in excitement and slipped, falling off the side of the belfry to the ground below.

The priest ran downstairs and outside to the sidewalk where the bell ringer lay dead.

A bystander asked β€œwho is he?”

The priest responded β€œI don’t know his name, but his face sure rings a bell!”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 44
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/EveryoneGoesToRicks
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 19 2020
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How did Samuel win the work talent show at the mobile phone factory?

Sam sung

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/vodkafountain
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 22 2020
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The cake shows up to the talent show and takes center stage. When the judge asks what is his talent. He replies...

"Icing"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/IronHusker88
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 16 2020
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Just happened a few minutes ago. Whilst wrapping an easel for our daughter my better half said "how am I going to wrap this?" I replied "Easely". Not even a smile :( wasted talent here.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 9k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dannyp433
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 21 2018
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One of my talents is finding it easy to fasten the strap that holds the saddle to a horse...

It's a cinch!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 27 2020
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The electric company I work for has a talent show at the annual company party.

One of the techs did a stand up comedy routine. The humor wasn’t very funny, it mostly went for shock value.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pikkl_rikk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 17 2020
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I have this weird talent where I can control sheep just by listening to them.

I herd it with my own ears.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 10 2020
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"German talent show contestants puts string of sausages up her bum" .. this performance was the wurst
πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cowenpa
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 11 2019
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Made with RAW talent *insert laughter*
πŸ‘οΈŽ 33
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Smithereenn
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 27 2019
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Talent Knight
πŸ‘οΈŽ 78
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MRR2012
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 09 2019
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I paid five cents for a dad joke, but it turned out to be an empty, derivative imitation, overly commercialized and lacking any real soul or talent.

Now I want my Nickelback.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Konamicoder
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 27 2020
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Why did the scarecrow win the talent show?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nvnvyrtylb
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 07 2019
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My special talent
πŸ‘οΈŽ 185
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ky_1652
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 26 2019
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My grandma used to pretend she was weaving rugs when she had to think. When she died, she passed the talent to my children.

It's a cherished air-loom in my family.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 25 2019
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The shy farmer declined the talent audition...

He's a grower, not a shower.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sirnicster
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 22 2019
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Did you hear about the day Bobby Fischer and Garry Kasparov were sighted at a hotel lobby, bragging about their talents? They were...

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 42
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/norrisrw
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 23 2018
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My hidden talents are hidden so well that even I can't find them.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ashutosh024
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 14 2018
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Just finished helping my daughter write a song for her talent show

it's a rap

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/garbagearmy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 04 2019
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Strange talent: I can predict the future by smell

they call me Nostrildamus

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/garbagearmy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 15 2018
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Al Harris pun-based comedian on America's Got Talent. youtube.com/watch?v=vjacS…
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dark_magician_girl
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 18 2017
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The talent show's tomorrow and I'm not ready.

I really gotta get my act together.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/chopperfive
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 25 2017
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Why don't the X-men let Colossus participate in their talent shows?

Because he always steels the show.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 34
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MrHobbes82
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 14 2016
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What did the announcer say to the Britain's Got Talent contestant?

Europe next.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Arnav_is_Awesome
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 19 2018
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My girlfriend and I were talking about drawing, and she said I had innate talent

I said it's more like a six/six and a half.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TrIQy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 06 2018
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Not to brag, but I have this weird talent in guessing what is inside a wrapped present.

It’s a gift.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 76
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 30 2020
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Not to brag, but I have this weird talent in guessing what’s inside a wrapped present.

You can say.... it’s a gift.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 165
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 17 2019
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Not to brag, but I have this incredible talent in predicting what’s inside a wrapped present.

It’s a gift.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 993
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 25 2019
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Not to brag, but I have this weird talent in guessing what's inside a wrapped present.

It's a gift.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 82
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 19 2019
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I have this weird talent where I can identify what’s inside a wrapped present.

It’s a gift.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 550
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mr_snipeypants
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 19 2018
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I have this weird talent where I can identify what’s inside a wrapped present.

It’s a gift.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 75
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 13 2018
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