A Kung Fu student asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated." And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers, "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?"
"Yes, my master, I have."
"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"
"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."
"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"
"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."
"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."
I've often wondered, are people with photographic memories born with that ability..
..or does it just take time to develop ?
What kind of cheese never does a job to the best of their ability?
It seems my ability to make puns…
…has just groan over time.
Spider-Man has many incredible powers, including the ability to know how many spiders there are around the world.
He uses his Spider Census.
If I have the ability to count
Does that mean I have accountability?
Doctor I think I’ve gained the ability to see into the future
It all started next Tuesday
Whats the name of the superhero with the ability to create dots?
I remember when the kids used to tease me for my abilities as a tailor. I also had the same retort:
Do you know what they call the ability to predict sports scores?
ESPN.
(Credit to my husband who just laid this one on our kids and I)
With great reflexes comes great response ability.
Not to brag, but I have this uncanny ability of guessing what’s inside a wrapped present.
You can say.....it’s a gift.
My father had the uncanny ability to know which way the wind blew by feeling his jugular...
`It was his weather vein.
I occasionally read tarot cards, with decent accuracy. Because of my weight and ability many call me a fat psychic.
I prefer the term “four-chin teller“.
When the US first conceptualized the $100 bill they were thinking of putting the face of Jesus, as his ability to come back to life was greater than any wealth.
It would've been the 1 undead dollar bill
What do you call someone who has the ability to pull off a lie in every situation?
Me: If humans lose the ability to hear high frequency volumes as they get older, can my 4 week old son hear a dog whistle?
Doctor: No, humans can never hear that high of a frequency no matter what age they are.
Me: Trick question... dogs can't whistle.
With daily practice, the lumberjack’s musical ability improved
My wife left me and said I lack the creative ability
I dont know what tomake of it
I have an ability to see into wrapped presents
A friend of mine once told me that the best superpower would be the ability to detect the presence of Indian bread.
I said “That’s naan-sense!”
If I had to rank you from 1 to 10 on your ability to pee...
I’ve heard from many of my friends that my abilities in astronomy are really looking up!
I have a recurring dream that I lose the ability to taste, see, smell, hear and feel.
My wife says it's nonsense.
A midget with the ability to talk to ghosts committed a crime but was not caught yet.
We are looking for a small medium at large.
So I was given the ability to fly the other day, decided to give it a whirl over the pacific. Little did I know how tired I was getting but just in the knick of time I saw a remote location that looked deserted off the coast, so what do I do?
My son told me he had the ability to transform into pie
I replied, "You're irrational."
My wife has an extraordinary ability to cook persevered food from a jar.
A disease has been discovered where musicians temporarily lost their ability to tell which notes are which when sharing an automobile with a stranger.
Medical experts have named it "carpool tonal syndrome".
A friend of mine had the ability to transform into a donkey
Everytime we went out somewhere he'd make an ass of himself
This foggy weather has had an effect on my ability to remember the alphabet
I remember A,B,C,D, and F but I misty
Concerned about boyfriend's dad-joke abilities. Is he a secret dad?
Boyfriend and I went to Portillo's (Italian Beef sandwich place in Chicago) and ordered sammies.
While we were eating, I started a story with the phrase, "so, I kind of have a beef with..."
He pauses, looks down at my now-empty sandwich wrapper and responds with,
"well, you had a beef..."
Also, I've stopped asking him to call my phone when I misplace it because I'm tired of the "what do you want me to call it?" response.
Boy and I have been together for...8 months or so, dad-jokes only got super frequent recently - men of /r/dadjokes - is this a condition that occurs after several months of dating? Please help.
:)
i have and incredible ability to know whats iinside a wrapped present
Me: If humans lose the ability to hear high frequency volumes as they get older, can my 4 week old son hear a dog whistle?
Doctor: No, humans can never hear that high of a frequency no matter what age they are.
Me: Trick question... dogs can't whistle.
Me: If humans lose the ability to hear high frequency volumes as they get older, can my 4 week old son hear a dog whistle?
Doctor: No, humans can never hear that high of a frequency no matter what age they are.
Me: Trick question... dogs can't whistle.
Me: If humans lose the ability to hear high frequency volumes as they get older, can my 4 week old son hear a dog whistle?
Doctor: No, humans can never hear that high of a frequency no matter what age they are.
Me: Trick question... dogs can't whistle.
With great reflexes comes great response ability
Me: If humans lose the ability to hear high frequency volumes as they get older, can my 4 week old son hear a dog whistle?
Doctor: No, humans can never hear that high of a frequency no matter what age they are.
Me: Trick question... dogs can't whistle.
With great reflexes, comes great response ability.
Me: If humans lose the ability to hear high frequency volumes as they get older, can my 4 week old son hear a dog whistle?
Doctor: No, humans can never hear that high of a frequency no matter what age they are.
Me: Trick question... dogs can't whistle.
With great reflexes comes great response ability.
I have an ability where I can see inside presents
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