We must create artistic compositions made of various materials glued on a surface for my Art 419 class project...

I guess I'll give it the old collage try.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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What does an artistic vampire do?

Draw blood..

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nectar_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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They must have an artistic way of doing things
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rabbitoncrack
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
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My artistic friend paints the most realistic fish, and I asked him what his secret was.

He said, β€œIt must be drawn to scale.”

πŸ‘︎ 377
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2018
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My 4 months old boy is already very sophisticated and artistic.

He loves dada.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lum1nar
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
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Chalk it up to my artistic skill
πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CCplusplus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2018
🚨︎ report
There was a clothing art exhibit in my town's shopping centre. Someone made a pyramid of jeans. Pure artistic jean-ious if you ask me.
πŸ‘︎ 131
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Paskill
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2013
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What do you call an artistic piece of furniture?

A drawer

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/treutm
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2017
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Artistic violence

I was reading the news and saw a piece about a cartoonist who was fearing for his life after he dared to draw Muhammed in a comic. He had to go into hiding after his house was burglarized.

ME: Hey, did you hear about the cartoonist who's house was broken into?

My wife: No, what happened?

ME: Oh, he drew this cartoon about Muhammed and apparently that's very offensive in some cultures and so some extremists were...

My wife: disappointed Oh...I thought it was going to be a joke...

ME: Alright...hey, did you hear about the cartoonist who's house was broken into? He had to DRAW his GUN!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShadowPuppet1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2013
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I’m doing a run of PokΓ©mon: SoulSilver where I name everybody after musical artist puns. Here’s what I’ve come up with so far- pretty catchy, huh?
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TristAndShout
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
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Artist pun thread Gogh!

Doesn't work if you're British because they pronounce it "goff" not "go" but I'll stop being a buzzkill. We need your best artist puns now!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/supremecrafters
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2014
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You shouldn't trust artists

They're kinda sketchy.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pattersonjeffa
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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"Son, you're not cut out to be a mime artist."

"Was it something I said?"

"YES!!"

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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I got consent from the artist to post this here. Source in cowments.
πŸ‘︎ 80
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lukub5
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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Did you hear about the artist who gave up on his uncompleted drawing after accidentally breaking his pencil?

Apparently, there was no point to continue drawing the picture

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AesSedai99
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
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Did you hear about the two guys who were prosecuted for plagiarizing a 1920’s German artist’s work?

They went to jail because de stijl.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tds8t7
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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A tattoo artist has a guy come in and get a new mark on an expanding list of hash marks. After a few sessions the tattoo artist asks β€œWhat are you counting?”

And the guy says β€œhow many tattoos I have now”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deepsea333
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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How does an amnesiac artist make a living?

Drawing a blank.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aGoatNamedScape
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call an artist with brown fingers ?

Pickasso.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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Nathan W. Pyle is one of my favorite artists.
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brute1100
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
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I saw a graffiti artist spraying a police station in a thick font.

Now that is bold.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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I’ve been enjoying the work of some of my favorite graphic artists on my commute to work...

But for some reason, whenever I bring out MC Escher’s art, I get weird stairs.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AquamarineCheetah
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
When I was in high school in Belleville, ON, a young local artist spray-painted a beautiful picture on a large concrete wall under a bridge by the Moira river. He didn't get permission to do this, however, and the city eventually painted over it.

Watching his picture go like that must've been pretty demuralizing.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/levitron
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What do artists and cabinets have in common?

They're both drawers!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slekrons
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the cowboy artist like to do?

Draw his gun

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/90eight
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
People are always amazed by the skilled tattoo artists in Spain

Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision

πŸ‘︎ 167
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gamer_Noob_69
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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My son has just got a job as a mime artist.

He kept that quiet.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried to intimidate an origami artist today.

He folded.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Origami_Pi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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Why do beginner artist always forget to draw the stick figure’s thumb when they draw a fist?

They forgot the punchline

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SleepyCrow07
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Banksy seems like a trustworthy artist.

Sure he's kind of shady, a bit sketchy, but he's not trying to frame me.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeeSeaBayBee
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Three boys go into a haunted house. One brought a knife, one brought a gun and one brought some cough drops

They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.

As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.

They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.

Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?

They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.

"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".

They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.

But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.

The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.

And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!

Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?

"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"

In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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My rooster is an artist. He draws on plates and I add arms and numbers, but for the life of me I can’t tell if he’s drawing snakes, mountains, teepee’s, etc., so I finally asked him and he said:

Clock’s a doodled doo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StretchSmiley
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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What do you call a dead artist?

Drew

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πŸ‘€︎ u/emjay144
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What is an artists favorite fruit?

A michael tangelo

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JudeFlower97
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
We then asked a artist about the murder:

β€œI art to be feeling bad” they said

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kingdragon2430
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
A Korean martial artist was giving away chocolate bars. I asked if I could have 2. He said...

"No. You can taek-won-do."

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VentilatedEgg
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
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My friend the artist made sketches of people worshiping gods and idols...

He drew praise for his artwork.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
When you make a pun artist mad
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lliH-knaH
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
The artist said he wanted to paint me naked.

It made me uncomfortable. But I've got to say, he was rather endowed.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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Why do con artists never run out of lollipops?

Because there's a sucker born every minute.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dave7243
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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What made the artist so unethical?

He had poor murals.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jrhood92
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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When dad is an artist.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nameaboveallnames
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
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What is a con artist's truck towed with?

A pickup line

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrotherTausil
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
In Need of Pun Artists

Dear Reddit Community,

I need a pun that includes the word senator for my upcoming student election. I figure the wit of 382K people can't fail me. Thank you for your service. Owl miss you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GuyManGuy24
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the stone mason break up with the con artist?

He was taken for granite.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Who is the Australian Frankenstein's favourite music artist?

Rihanna, mate.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ribdunge
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.

I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beanimus0829
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife was telling me about a certain artist's skin care routine

Wife : Do you know (artist's name)? Her skin care routine has 38 steps.

Me : Well, it's not that far tbh.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/clowninmyhead
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
🚨︎ report

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