Isn't that a straight pun?
If there’s a line of gay people, it’s not a straight line...
When I get home my wife's underwear is coming straight off...
They're cutting right into my hips.
It doesn't matter if youre straight, gay or bisexual
At the end of the day, its night
I found out my dad watches the same Japanese time stop videos as me. when he approached the subject during a football game halftime. Being drunk, i confessed... He waited until his friends all left and pointed straight at me and said:
'It's about time, son...'
We both cried
this one came straight from my dad
the invention of the shovel was truly groundbreaking
Why won't swords go obsolete?
They are cutting edge technology.
I used to be addicted to eating Thanksgiving leftovers straight out of the fridge
But then I quit cold turkey.
I did my navigation task and it lead me straight to you...❤️❤️❤️
Why are vegans more straight than non-vegeterians?
Because they dont like meat.
My grandfather turned 90 today, but he still doesn’t need glasses.
He drinks straight from the bottle.
My son told me he can drink a whole glass a whiskey straight.
Personally, I think it's neat.
I once sat next to a baby on a 10 hour flight. I had no idea that it was possible for someone to cry for 10 hours straight.
Even the baby was impressed.
My bird nosedived straight into a running blender this morning...
All that’s left is shredded tweet.
Why did pilots use to have such a hard time flying straight?
All they had was biplanes
Fly straight and stay safe, boys
A gay Rook is a Bishop because it isn't straight.
Straight, neat, or on the rocks?
If everyone in the world linked hands and stood in a straight line
So let me get this straight...
Any time I ask my dad how he learned Braille, he refuses to give me a straight answer.
For him, it’s a touchy subject.
[REQUEST] I'll get straight to the point, I need a knife pun
As the title says, I need a pun that involves two unlikely friends. Knives and Charity/donations.
Any help would be appreciated!
Knife to be here in this community
My poker cards yesterday were so shitty
Wikipedia speaking straight facts
"Let me get this straight, you want me to write a kids song about a dog with a funny "name-o"
Wikipedia speaking straight facts
Pokemon cards? Yeah i've got a small collection.
I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for
So far no one has given me a straight answer
I thought my son was straight.
But then he got bi with a little help from his friends.
To all of you who have been disowned by fathers. In honor of pride month and on behalf of all dads of R/dadjokes I just wanna say, buffalo.
Because you can always be our bi-son, and even if you don't feel like shooting straight, we will always be trans-parent with you. You are loved.
Did you hear the news story about the man that was playing video games for 2 weeks straight?
Dad joked by an 81-year-old woman
I had an elderly patient today who was visibly upset, almost to the point of tears. I asked her if she was worried about having her blood drawn and she said that the blood draw didn’t bother her, but that she was upset because she had hit a cat with her car on the way to her appointment this morning. She said that she didn’t know who the cat belonged to and that she had it wrapped up in a blanket in her car. I asked her how badly the cat was hurt and she said “I think he’s going to be alright. I just clipped the hind end of him, but his tail is just barely hanging on. After I leave here, I’m taking him straight to Wal-Mart.”
I told her that she might be better off taking the cat to a veterinary clinic instead of Wal-Mart and she said, “but it’s just his tail, and Wal-Mart is the largest retailer in North America!”
A guy just flew straight at my ultralight in his jet and gave me an unpleasant look...
I asked a friend what gay meant
He wouldn’t give me a straight answer.
Joe Exotic persuaded two straight men to marry him
Want to find out how?
You do the Meth!
Or just straight up color
So proud of my 6 year old. While teaching her to hit a softball, I told her to “square up on the ball”
She replied “the ball is round daddy” (with a straight face) So I tell her “no, what I mean is, get mad! I want you to hit the ball really hard like if you were mad at it!”
She grabs the ball, stares right at it and says “I’M REALLY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, BALL!” Then throws it right back at me.
Proud dad moment.
What do you call a bedpan in Russia?
If you took all the people in the world who fall asleep during church, and laid them head to toe in a straight line
They’d all be a lot more comfortable
I was so excited, I went straight to the punch bowl
Only afterwards did I realize I cut off the punchline
SLPT: If your priest or bishop is molesting your children, tell them to run away in a straight line as priests and bishops can only move diagonally.
/r/ShittyLifeProTips/comm…
It doesn't matter if you're black or white, or gay or straight
At the end of the day, it's night.
I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for
Nobody has given me a straight answer
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