Consecutive balls in my Reddit feed
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👤︎ u/kmsgars
📅︎ Jul 28 2020
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*after the train had had trouble stopping in the right spot for multiple consecutive stops* Mom: I guess the guy driving is new.

Dad: Maybe he's a trainee.

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📅︎ Aug 21 2019
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today is the last day in the 21st century having consecutive prime numbers.

go on, you know you want to party like its 2099

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👤︎ u/johnhsun
📅︎ Nov 13 2017
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My Dad: Can you tell me a sensible sentence that uses the word 'because', three times, consecutively?

Me: Not today, Dad.

My Dad: Give up. Let me tell you in his glorious beaming pride face

I use because, because, because is a conjunction.

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📅︎ Sep 22 2020
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Did you hear about the semicolon who broke the law?

He was given two consecutive sentences.

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📅︎ Jul 30 2020
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Write a genuine sentence that has the word "and" five times consecutively.

Technically a riddle not a joke but it's always amused me. My dad told me this well over 30 years ago.

"I asked you to paint a sign for my pub "The Dog And Duck" but you didn't leave enough space between "Dog" and "And" and "And" and "Duck.".

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📅︎ Aug 27 2015
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A dadjoke in the supermarket.

I was buying some stuff in the supermarket the other day, and I was queueing behind an old man, and his middle aged daughter.

The woman seemed to be rushing, and she was frantically looking for her reusable bag. She said to the grandad,

"Where's the bag dad?"

He replied,

"Somewhere in Iraq I think."

He then looked at me and started chuckling to himself while his daughter groaned and got in with looking for the bag. I laughed with him. We shared a moment.

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📅︎ Jan 03 2014
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So there was this magician.....

He pulled a rabbit out of his hat. The crowd was silent... He pulled another rabbit out of his hat The crowd gave him nothing. Flustered, the magician pulled another rabbit out of his hat. This time the crowd went nuts!!!

Guess he finally got himself a hat-trick!

(A hat-trick is the achievement of a positive feat for the third consecutive time)

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📅︎ Mar 27 2019
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The award for the best dadjokes 2018 goes to...

… u/ebkbk for this post: Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian. made on 24.11. with 38.9k upvotes

[also already made by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes]

Let's move on to the top 3 of each month:

January:

  1. Is this sub still active? by u/I_Fart_Liquids on 01.01. with 36.4k upvotes

  2. Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine by u/daugarten on 20.01. with 30.8k upvotes

  3. An open letter to the mods of r/dadjokes: by u/Alfie_13 on 27.01. with 18.9k upvotes

February:

  1. Was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm. by u/jakeisbill on 05.02. for 20.3k upvotes

  2. My daughter asked me what I'm posting on Reddit... by u/madazzahatter on 25.02. for 18.3k upvotes

  3. When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding. by u/ownworldman on 23.02. for 17.7k upvotes

March:

  1. I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" and I thought... by u/madazzahatter on 21.03. for 22.2k upvotes

  2. Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes.

  3. [When I reach home, my 1.5 y.o. son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it with brrrmmm brrrmmm sound. His cute antics always make me forget that he's suffering from a rare disease.](https://www.reddit.com/r/da

... keep reading on reddit ➡

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👤︎ u/Skormes
📅︎ Jan 18 2019
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Did you hear about the paragraph that went to jail?

I heard he got six sentences

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📅︎ Nov 04 2015
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I'm pretty proud of this one...

I was talking about school with my kids at the dinner table. My son is learning about astronomy in science class.

Me: "Have you learned what a light year is?"

Son: "Yes, it's the distance light travels in 1 year."

Me: "Nope. It's 365 consecutive days when you don't have a lot going on."

My wife threatened divorce, so I know it was a good one.

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👤︎ u/Drumlin
📅︎ Jan 07 2014
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Did you hear about the semi-colon that broke the law?

It was given two consecutive sentences.

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👤︎ u/wolfy189
📅︎ Feb 24 2020
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Did you hear about the semicolon that broke the law?

It received two consecutive sentences.

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📅︎ May 06 2019
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What happened when the semi-colon broke grammar laws?

He was given two consecutive sentences.

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👤︎ u/jesslees24
📅︎ Oct 26 2019
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What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?

It was given two consecutive sentences!

👍︎ 26
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📅︎ Aug 09 2019
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