Thinking I was trying to weigh less with this manouver, my wife commented, "I don't think that's going to help !!"
"Sure it does " I retorted "It's the only way I can see the numbers."
Because it is the capital of Hungary.
"Stop eating caterpillars!"
It was a Miss Steak
It was gut wrenching.
You rectify it.
No guts
Or the farts you hold in.
We all had to wear diapers and we quickly recognised that masks in 2020 were not that bad.
Gastral Projection
It's ruminantary knowledge!
AITA?
Gonna have me some Tums. Gonna have me some Tums.
Because I had Yoghurt before.
Frankly, it's not her bismuth.
Except if he is a cannibal.
It was gut-wrenching.
It was pretty shitty.
Because there was no more rumen it
I have a bad case of dire rear
Me: So that’s where all that crying is coming from.
i guess ive got a stomach for it
Webto-Bismol
which is why she lost her job as a cardiac surgeon.
It's graze anatomy.
Nice lady and all, I truly loved her, but a terrible surgeon
I’ve got the Friday Night Blights
Lovely woman.
Useless surgeon.
It was a Belchin Waffle
Now I falafel.
I haven’t got mush-room in my stomach.
He says I had to remove your stomach
The patient asks why
He replied man you don't have a stomach for jokes
(Usually either Nestle or Captain)
i had butterflies in my stomach
His condition is stable now.
A man named Dave comes home very drunk late at night...
So this guy has been drinking with his buddies all night and he's as drunk as a skunk, gets home, falls up the stairs, undresses and goes to bed next to his wife. He falls asleep and next thing he knows, bang, he dies and finds himself waiting at the pearly gates.
The guy refuses to believe this is happening, he says to St. Peter: "This can't be possible, I'm a healthy man! This is not the way I die. You have to let me return down there!"
The guy can see St. Peter looks like he's feeling sorry for him, but he tells him that unfortunately, there's no policy for allowing people back on Earth. The guy insists: "But come on, there's got to be something you can do! I'll put up with anything, really, as long as you let me go back down."
So St. Peters tells him: "Well really, there's just this one possibility: you can go back, but only as a hen. That's the only thing we can allow." The guy guesses that this really is his only chance, so he agrees reluctantly.
So he's back on Earth in this beautiful chicken coop, the sun is shining, there's green grass everywhere, this is hen paradise. The other hens greet him with delight and he tells them his story, everything goes nicely. But then he feels kind of unwell, there's something wrong with his stomach. He asks this old hen: "Tell me, I've got this weird feeling in my belly, I'm not too well. What is happening to me?"
The old hen: "Well dearie, we hens lay eggs, you know. I bet you've never laid a nice egg before... You need to push it out now, and you'll feel much better after!"
So the guy pushes and pushes, and wham, out pops his first egg. The old hen congratulates him and he feels much better. But not 5 minutes later, his pain comes back. He returns to the old hen for advice.
"Well dearie, it's quite special but it happens that you need to lay TWO eggs, so go back there and keep pushing!"
So he goes back to his nest and pushes, and nothing comes, and he pushes harder, and wham, out comes his second egg! He feels much better, but not 2 minutes later, you guessed it, he's back in terrible pain and goes to see the old hen.
"What's this bullshit here, and don't tell me I've got a third egg to lay!" The old hen can't make head or tail of it and just tells him that when in doubt, he should be pushing. So the guy goes back to work and then, wham, his wife wakes him up with this smashing slap in the face and yells: "*Dave! Dave wake up you’re
... keep reading on reddit ➡Ok, How about 10 tomorrow?
No, I dont need that many.
“Sure, it does.” I said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
Ha! That’s not going to help, she said. Sure, it does, I said. Its the only way I can see the numbers.
“Sure, it does,” I said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
“Ha! That’s not going to help,” she said.
“Sure, it does,” I said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
“Ha! That’s not going to help,” she said.
“Sure, it does,” I said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
