“Sure, it does.” I said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
Me: So that’s where all that crying is coming from.
i guess ive got a stomach for it
I have a bad case of dire rear
Webto-Bismol
Good lady; awful surgeon.
which is why she lost her job as a cardiac surgeon.
Nice lady and all, I truly loved her, but a terrible surgeon
I’ve got the Friday Night Blights
It's graze anatomy.
We broke up because she couldn’t stomach my cheesy jokes.
It was a Belchin Waffle
(Usually either Nestle or Captain)
Now I falafel.
He was trying to abstain from alcohol
Lovely woman.
Useless surgeon.
His condition is stable now.
Abdominal snowman
The doctor said “quit your belly aching”
“You know that’s not going to help, right?” she asks. “Sure, it will,” he says. “It’s the only way I’ll be able to see the numbers.”
It was a pour choice.
Pepto Abismol
"You are under a vest."
He’ll be born in February.
You could say that I am abstaining from ab staining...
It was a waist of time.
I told them "you better not be party poopers tomorrow"!
Because its the capitol of Hungary
Sounds like a wise old bowel.
I must be black-toast intolerant.
Bill Johnson called his boss and said: "Hey, boss I cannot come work today, I am really sick. I got a headache, stomach ache, and my leg hurts, I cannot come work."
The boss says: "Bill I really need you today. When I feel sick like this I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes me feel better and I can go to work. You should try that."
Two hours later Bill calls again: "Boss, I did what you said and I feel great, I'll be at work soon. By the way you got nice house.
It takes ant-acids
...wins Nobelly Prize
She insists they stop by at a store to look at all the toiletries. On their way home, the woman stops to go to the bathroom because her stomach feels unsettled. When she returns from the bathroom, she tells her husband that nothing came out.
To that, he replies, “You must really like shampoos.”
It isnt mint to be swallowed.
he responded a bit sluggishly "eh, It's not doing too well."
me: "uh oh, why not?"
him: "I don't know man, everything I eat turns to shit."
:I
A Gastroentomologist!
Castroenteritis
Dad: Have you've been eating caterpillars? Me: omg ...
They have no stomach for them.
I told him if that's what he thought, he should really take a look at the intersection
A womb with a view
It was all ingest.
Seppuku is the suicidal act of stabbing yourself in the stomach.
because it always hurts me (in my) mid riff.
Because they have no guts.
I've got butterflies in my stomach.
It may not take up all your stomach but it will always keep your mind full
real shitty experience
My stomach was churning for a while, but now I’m finally feeling butter.
To which my dad replied, "Well yeah, you've got four or 'em!"
I wear glasses.
Me: "You should tell it a joke, that'll make it feel better."
Dad: Exhales out nose
... we were just passing a middle eastern resteraunt when she says "Felafel?"
"No I feel fine, just a bit hungry."
audible moan
Me: Do you have any antacids? Dad: No, but I have some uncle-acids!
He told everyone he thinks he might be on his comma. All his daughters look at him in confusion. I'm dying laughing until he drops, "because I don't have a period."
Dad "What's the difference between a teacher and a train when it comes to gum?"
I thought long and hard and couldn't figure it out. "I don't know."
Dad "A teacher won't let you chew any gum, but a train says "Choo Choo!"
My stomach is churning
Because they have a pit in their stomach
"Dad, my stomach hurts."
"Does your face hurt?"
"No, why?"
"Because it's killin' me"
(From Abbott and Costello’s radio show, December 30, 1943)
Lou Costello: Oh, Abbott, the worst thing just happened to me!
Bud Abbott: No!
Lou Costello: Yeah, Mrs. Niles gave me a dog for a Christmas present, and the dog just took a great big bite out of me!
Bud Abbott: Where did he bite you?
Lou Costello: Well, if I’d have been wearing a license plate, he’d have gotten the last three numbers.
Bud Abbott: Where did this happen?
Lou Costello: Well, let me see, where did this happen — in a crowded streetcar. It was the first time I ever gave my seat to a dog.
Bud Abbott: Well, never mind that. What kind of a dog did Mrs. Niles give you?
Lou Costello: Do you remember that famous dog, Strongheart?
Bud Abbott: Yes, I remember Strongheart.
Lou Costello: Well, this is his brother — Weak Stomach.
Bud Abbott: Listen, I’m not talking about that. What is the dog’s breed?
Lou Costello: What does he breed? He breeds through his nose, like you and me!
Bud Abbott: No, no, no, you dummy, what kind of dog is he? Spitz?
Lou Costello: No, but he drools a little.
Bud Abbott: Look, there are different types of dogs, such as Setters, and Pointers, …
Lou Costello: That’s it, Abbott! He’s a Setter-Pointer!
Bud Abbott: A Setter-Pointer?
Lou Costello: Yeah, he sets all day and points at the icebox! (Editor’s note: we now call an “icebox” a “refrigerator”)
To which the reply would be "oh yeah, how does your face feel.. CUZ ITS KILLING ME!" har har har.
But my heart’s just not in it
and the first cannibal says "I killed and ate a missionary yesterday, but I think he gave me an upset stomach." The second cannibal says "That's too bad. How'd you cook him?" The first cannibal says "Oh, I threw him in the giant pot of boiling water like always." The second cannibal says "Makes sense. And what did he look like?" The first cannibal says "The usual. Brown robe, rope belt, sandals." And the second cannibal says "Well there's your problem. You boiled him, and he was a friar."
But didn't have the stomach for it!
Back a few decades, I was working in a program with a local college in the Middle East.
The name of the program for ExPats has the clever acronym of "IDEA" (hey, I said it was clever); which stands for "Inter-Departmental Educational Adjunct". It's interdepartmental because my particular specialty not only covers field geology but also paleontology and a bit of archeology thrown in for good measure. Everyone hopes to have a good IDEA...
ahem...
Well, we saddle up and head for the Dune Sea out in the west of the country, where the Precambrian, Cambrian, Silurian, Cretaceous, Pliocene, Pleistocene, and Holocene crop out and access is relatively easy and non-injurious.
Well, we caravan out, some 30 Land Cruisers, Nissan patrol, and the odd Mitsubishi Galloper strong. We all get our maps, compasses and split up into 5 or 6 special interest groups ("SIG's"); where each IDEA has his own GPS and LIDAR laser ranging apparatus. Reason being, that there are very few benchmarks out in the desert, and even those are constantly at the mercy of the shifting and ever-blowing sands.
Since we're split into groups and at any one time, ranging up to and including some 50 km2, when a real find is located, a device called the "DIME" (Digital-Interface Monitor Encoder) is attached and programmed into the GPS for location later; it is a digital sort of low-frequency transponder, developed from technology used by offshore drillers and jacket setters where benchmarks are even more transitory.
The way it works is rather simple. When something is to be marked for later retrieval, a series of wooden posts are pounded in a triangular manner around the find and the DIME is set, programmed with the GPS and attached to one or more of the posts.
That's the theory, at least.
Everything works well, especially all the hardened electronics and computer gizmos, but attaching the DIME to the stakes is the real problem. It can't be nailed, screwed or fastened with any sort of metal contrivance as that farkles the magnetic field and causes all sorts of goofy spurious signals. Zip ties don't last long in the heat and duct tape is right out. Many sites have been lost to the shifting sands this way.
Velcro doesn't work too well, as the sand fills the hooks of the receiving piece of velcro and soon renders it useless. String or fishing line work, but that's temporary (they melt). Glue or mastic are out as these are supposed to be temporary. Even plastic sleeves don't work due to the heat out
... keep reading on reddit ➡A man tries to put a watch around his stomach but gives up and says “this is a waist of time”
She got butterflies in her stomach
“Sure, it does,” I said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
“Ha! That’s not going to help,” she said.
“Sure, it does,” I said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
“Ha! That’s not going to help,” she said.
“Sure, it does,” I said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
“Ha! That’s not going to help,” she said.
“Sure, it does,” I said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
His condition is stable now.
His condition is now stable
You’re under a vest.
His condition is now stable.
My stomach was churning for a while, but now I’m finally feeling butter.
Probably shouldn't have eaten your eyes then.
But I just don't have the stomach for it.
