Reali-tea
Because his pH was greater than 7.
I've gotten better.
You could say I'm a saw loser.
How utterly radicchio-less.
Because baby bok choy gets all the attention.
I just wanna see my sun!
Which came the reply "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."
I really hope they "make-up."
It's not well known that among the species of plants taken aboard Noah's Ark was a very odd berry. This berry had a special property where if you ate too few at once they would be sour, but if you ate too many at once they would be bitter. Even stranger was that the right number of berries to eat at once for perfect sweetness was different for each person.
Shem would never take enough berries and would complain every time "Ugh! These berries are so sour! Why did we bring these plants?" Noah would reply "I've told you over and over, you need to eat a couple more in a mouthful to make them sweet."
Ham would always take too many berries and would complain every time "Ick! These berries are so bitter! I'd like to toss the plants overboard." Noah would reply "I've told you over and over, you need to eat fewer in a mouthful to make them sweet."
Japeth would grab a random amount and whenever they were bitter or sour he'd complain "Why do these berries never taste the same? We should let the animals eat the plants so we don't have to eat the silly berries." Noah would reply "I've told you over and over, you should remember how many berries taste the best."
After a couple of weeks of this, Noah announced "I'm taking charge of portioning the berries. I've made notes of how many of them taste the best for me, my wife, all of you my sons, and your wives. At meals I'll give each of you the correct amount, and NO MORE COMPLAINTS!"
Another week passed and Japeth wanted some berries to take the edge off his hunger, but rather than wander all over the whole ark looking for his father he asked Emzara "Where's dad? I'd like some berries before lunch."
Emzara pointed to the storeroom and said "I thought you were tired of the berries? But there's Noah, counting for taste."
The bitter, better-batter bought her butter!
I hopped to it!
He just flipped.
I asked "Why are you wearing a surgical mask?"
She said "I'm not, it's a coughy filter."
The decision was a piece of cake.
My wife and daughter are working on improving the meringue cookie recipe they are using.
I asked if the batter was better and my wife said yes.
So I asked if it had enough sugar or if it was a bitter better batter.
The look on her face was priceless!
I reminded her that she knew my sense of humor before she married me and went through with it anyway.
What kind of drink can be bitter and sweet? Reali-tea.
Hehe
It was mugged.
So I packed up my stuff and right!
We're both bitter and drunk in the mornings.
Iβve never had coffee but it smells nice.
Despairagus
Fast to wake me up when thereβs donuts!
They can both be bitter
Don't be bitter about dank puns. Danke. Bitte.
We were making pancake mix and it was a little thick, so I was pouring milk and stirring to get a better consistency. Once I got a good mix she said
"That's better"
I look up and say
"No, that's batter"
She hit me.
It's left me feeling bitter and twisted
A depresso
I haven't slept since last year and I'm EXHAUSTED!
You're bitter, but I like you.
(credit to my coworker who is a walking, talking dad joke)
It became bitter.
It was a party mostly with parents and their children.
A kid (about 5 years old) stubbed his toe and started crying.
One of the dads said, βOh, you stubbed your toe? Want to to call the toe truck?β
I know itβs not fresh, but I laughed my ass off and was slightly bitter that I didnβt think of it.
My folks came up to visit. My mom flubbed the coffee, putting the grounds in the water chamber and she had to disassemble it and clean it before making coffee. Once we had piping hot cups all around my dad chimes in with this:
"You know, messing up the coffee is grounds for divorce."
Fangst.
Says to the landlord "A pint of bitter please". Gets his beer & says "I shouldn't be having this with wot I've got". Landlord says "wots that then?" Man says "15p"!
But I donβt like the bitter taste of de-feet
Some might call it old fashioned but I enjoy my bourbon with a dash of bitters and a sugar cube
Reali-tea....
Without a penis.
