I ate a female cow for dinner and it upset my stomach...

It was a Miss Steak

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HateGettingGold
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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What does Bill Duke say when he has an upset stomach?

Gonna have me some Tums. Gonna have me some Tums.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CallSignSabre13
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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My wife keeps asking why I drink a pink liquid whenever my stomach is upset.

Frankly, it's not her bismuth.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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Doctor: Sir, you have an upset stomach

Me: So that’s where all that crying is coming from.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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I had some Greek food that upset my stomach.

Now I falafel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dameski
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
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Stomach's upset from drinking too much water...

It was a pour choice.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pugshugsbugs
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
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This morning I burnt my toast but I was in a rush so I ate it anyway. It upset my stomach...

I must be black-toast intolerant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr627990
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2018
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Dad: "My stomach is a little upset"

Me: "You should tell it a joke, that'll make it feel better."

Dad: Exhales out nose

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zmose
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2016
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Two cannibals are chatting

and the first cannibal says "I killed and ate a missionary yesterday, but I think he gave me an upset stomach." The second cannibal says "That's too bad. How'd you cook him?" The first cannibal says "Oh, I threw him in the giant pot of boiling water like always." The second cannibal says "Makes sense. And what did he look like?" The first cannibal says "The usual. Brown robe, rope belt, sandals." And the second cannibal says "Well there's your problem. You boiled him, and he was a friar."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
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Called my manager to let him know I was gonna be late

Cause my stomach was upset and I was stuck in the bathroom

"no worries... Shit happens"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/d3vourm3nt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2015
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